Round Nine

Left (T – Tie; M – Win)

神無月旅行く人もいづくにかたちかくるべき時雨もる山

kaminazuki tabi yuku hito mo izuku ni ka tachikakurubeki shigure moru yama

In the Godless Month For folk gone travelling Is there anywhere To hide themselves away, As the showers drip down on Mount Moru?

Lady Shinano
17

Right

くらぶ山いかがこゆべき神無月木の葉とともにしぐれ降るなり

kurabuyama ikaga koyubeki kaminazuki ko no ha to tomo ni shigure furu nari

Over gloomy Mount Kurabu How can I find my way across? In the Godless Month Together with the leaves from the trees A shower is falling…

Lord Nobutada
18

Toshiyori states: in the first poem, I do not feel that travelling is a natural continuation from ‘Godless Month’. ‘Is there anywhere’, too, does not sound smooth, does it. As for the second poem, if one mentions ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’ and then follows it with ‘How can I find my way across?’, one should give a reason for the expression, whether it be because it’s gloomy, or because the sun is going down, otherwise it’s also unclear why one should be having difficulties crossing the mountain. If one is grieved by the falling leaves, then the poem sounds more like an ‘Scarlet Leaves’ one, and this is unreasonable. These both look to be about the same.

Mototoshi states: ‘showers drip down on Mount Moru’ is a bit better than ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’, isn’t it. I feel it’s only logical that there should be no shadows in which one could hide oneself away.