Round Three

Left (Win)

すみよしのまつのゆきあひのひまよりも月さえぬればしもはおきけり

sumiyoshi no matsu no yukiai no hima yori mo tsuki sae nureba shimo wa okikeri

At Sumiyoshi, Pine boughs entwine, and Even from the gaps between Moonbeams drop Upon the fallen frost.

Grand Dharma Master Shun’e[1]
5

Right

すみよしのまつのゆきあひの月かげはくもまにいづるここちこそすれ

sumiyoshi no matsu no yukiai no tsukikage wa kumoma ni izuru kokochi koso sure

At Sumiyoshi, Pine boughs entwine, and The moonlight Emerges from between the clouds— That’s how it feels!

Lord Fujiwara no Sanekuni
Supernumerary Middle Counsellor
Captain of the Palace Guards, Left Division
Exalted Senior Third Rank[2]
6

Both Left and Right, having the same conception contemplating ‘pine boughs entwine’, appear charming. ‘Emerges from between the clouds’ truly does sound as if it captures the moment, but the Left’s use of ‘even’ in ‘even from the gaps between’ show a deep knowledge of the world of poetry,[3] and thus, again, the Left wins.

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[1] Daihōshi Shun’e 大法師俊恵

[2] Shōsan’i-gyō gonchūnagon ken saemon no kami Fujiwara ason Sanekuni 正三位行権中納言兼左衛門督藤原朝臣実国

[3] Shunzei is praising Shun’e for his knowledge of earlier poems. Shun’e’s work builds on: 夜やさむき衣やうすきかたそぎのゆきあひのまより霜やおくらむ yo ya samuki / koromo ya usuki / katasogi no / yukiai no ma yori / shimo ya okuramu ‘Is it the night’s chill, or / My scanty robe: / Where the ridge poles of My shrine / Entwine, from the gaps between / Frost does seem to fall.’ This poem is said to be by the deity of Sumiyoshi (SKKS XIX: 1855). By adding in ‘even’ (mo) to the phrase he has taken from the deity’s work, Shun’e adds to it, saying that frost falls not only from the gaps in the shrine roof, but also from between the pine boughs outside. Shunzei’s judgement acknowledges the deep knowledge of prior poetry needed for this type of usage.