The scent of orange blossom incense on the breeze[i]
Left
ふくかぜに花たちばなぞにほふなるむかしのそでにあやまたれつつ
fuku kaze ni hanatachibana zo niou naru mukashi no sode ni ayamataretsutsu
With the gusting breeze Orange blossom’s Fragrance comes— For those sleeves of bygone days Do I ever mistake it…
13
Right
つねよりもことにもあるかなけふをまつはなたちばなのかぜのにほひは
tsune yori mo koto ni mo aru kana kyō o matsu hanatachibana no kaze no nioi wa
More than ever So special it is! For today have I awaited, Orange blossom’s Scented breeze…
14
In general, orange blossom is scented during early summer showers or has its fragrance carried on the evening breeze, so I wonder about the folk of bygone days: there’s nothing to compare it with, making the Left’s poem as hackneyed as one on Isonokami, yet there’s nothing special about it, like a weed growing under the eaves. The Right’s poem has ‘for today have I awaited’, which I think requires a reference to sweet-flags. My overall impression of both poems is that their conceptions are unclear.
hototogisu hanatachibana ni yadoru to mo nanorazariseba ikade shiramashi
The cuckoo Among the orange blossom May make his lodging, but If he fails to announce himself How would one ever know?
Controller’s Graduate 23
Right
さよなかにみふねの山のほととぎすほのかになきてすぎぬなるかな
sayo naka ni mifune no yama no hototogisu honoka ni nakite suginu naru kana
In the midst of a night so brief Upon Mifune Mountain, A cuckoo, Faintly crying, Has passed his time!
Kerin’in Graduate 24
It is entirely impossible to decide between these two poems.
Neither of these poems is particularly bad. The Left flows smoothly and is elegant; the Right starts with ‘Mifune Mountain’ and then continues with ‘faintly’, which certainly does not lack skill. Thus, I would say that these should tie, although this will doubtless be a source of some dissatisfaction to the writer of the Right.
hototogisu yama yori ochi no satobito wa matade ya yowa no hatsune kikuran
O, cuckoo, Far from the mountains, Will villagers Without waiting, at midnight Ever hear your first cry?
Chikanari 45
Right
うちしめる花橘の五月雨に軒もる夜半のほととぎすかな
uchishimeru hanatachibana no samidare ni noki moru yowa no hototogisu kana
When utterly drenched is The orange blossom by The summer showers. Dripping from the eaves at midnight is A cuckoo’s call!
Ie’kiyo 46
The Right’s poem has ‘Dripping from the eaves at midnight is a cuckoo’s call!’—this sounds like it conveys the conception, but yet is stylistically unclear. The Left’s poem takes up the conception of ‘On the leg-wearying / Mountains’ far side / Folk dwell—I wonder / Do they not have to wait for the autumn / Moon to fill their gaze?’,[1] doesn’t it? Neither has any real point worth making, so they tie.
[1] This poem is: Topic unknown. あしびきの山のあなたにすむ人はまたでや秋の月をみるらんashihiki no / yama no anata ni / sumu hito wa / matade ya aki no / tsuki o miruran Former Emperor Sanjō (SKKS IV: 382).
