Round Nine
Left (Tie)
秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん
| akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubite ya tsuma koikanete shika no fusuran | The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow Has he woven—is that why Unable to love his mate The stag seems to lie? |
Koreyuki
41
Right
妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ
| tsuma kouru aki ni shi nareba saoshika no toko no yama tote uchi mo fusareji | He yearns for his mate In autumn, above all, so In the stag’s Bed among the mountains He cannot lay him down, it seems. |
Arifusa
42
The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:
秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな
| akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubu yo wa chikaku mo shika no koe o kiku kana | The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow I weave tonight— Close by, truly, a stag’s Bell I hear! [1] |
While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.
[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224
Round Seven
Left (Tie)
草がくれ見えぬをしかも妻こふる声をばえこそ忍ばざりけれ
| kusagakure mienu oshika mo tsuma kouru koe oba e koso shinobazarikere | Hidden by the grasses, Unseen, the stag, too Longing for his mate, His bell, indeed, is unable To conceal! |
Lord Yorimasa
37
Right
秋の野の花のたもとに置く露や妻よぶしかの涙なるらむ
| aki no no no hana no tamoto ni oku tsuyu ya tsuma yobu shika no namida naruramu | In the autumn meadows, Upon the blossoms’ sleeves Are the fallen dewdrops The stag—calling for his mate— Letting tears fall? |
Narinaka
38
The Left is novel, and the Right charming, respectively. The Right’s poem does have a large number of identical syllables—while this is criticized in the Code of the Creation of Poetry as a ‘whole body fault’, it is not the case that poems containing this defect have not appeared in poetry matches from time to time, and I don’t feel it’s necessary to examine whether there are a large number of similar cases here: such things are simply a style of poetry.
Round Six
Left
草枯のふしどさびしく成りゆけばしかこそ妻もこひしかるらめ
| kusakare no fushido sabishiku nariyukeba shika koso tsuma mo koishikarurame | Among the withered grasses He lies down, yet into lonely sadness Does he sink, so The stag his mate Seems to long for all the more… |
Suketaka
35
Right (Win)
さをしかの声しきるなりみよしののいさかた山に妻やこもれる
| saoshika no koe shikiru nari miyoshino no isakatayama ni tsuma ya komoreru | The stag’s Bell rends my heart— In fair Yoshino On Mount Isakata Is his mate secluded. |
Tōren
36
I don’t believe I have heard a prior instance of the Right’s ‘Isakata Mountain’, have I? In addition, there doesn’t seem to be any reason for its use here. In general, it’s preferable to compose using terms which are familiar. As for the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the stag only cares for his mate when the grasses are withered, but implying that grass only withers in the Ninth and Tenth Months is at variance with the actual period when it happens, isn’t it? Moreover, it is dubious to compose pivoting around the topic—and doing this has been stated to be undesirable in poetry matches. Indeed, I recall that in the Poetry Match at the Palace in the Fields, when someone composed pivoting on ‘maidenflower’, the judge criticized it, saying, ‘it is mangling the words of our land to compose in this manner.’ Thus, although the poem does have a freshness about it, the Right must win, I think.
Round Five
Left (Win)
きく人の袖もぬれけり秋ののの露分けて鳴くさをしかのこゑ
| kiku hito no sode mo nurekeri aki no no no tsuyu wakete naku saoshika no koe | Folk who hear him Have dampened sleeves, too— Across the autumn meadows As he forges through the dewdrops The stag’s bell. |
Lord Kinshige
33
Right
鹿の音の吹きくるかたにきこゆるはあらしやおのがたちどなるらん
| shika no ne no fukikuru kata ni kikoyuru wa arashi ya ono ga tachidonaruran | The stag’s bell Comes, blown, I do hear— Has the storm, himself, Arisen there, I wonder? |
Lord Kiyosuke
34
I do wonder about the Left, which implies that one would soak one’s sleeves with tears on hearing a stag belling, given that I am unable to bring to mind any prior poems composed in this vein. What are we to make of the fact that, while the poem by Toshiyori, which I mentioned earlier, was composed about tears, there is still no trace of this usage in any other poetry match? It does seem poetic overall, though. The Right’s ‘Has the storm, himself, arisen’ is remarkably startling, so it’s a personal poem. While it’s not the case that there are no prior compositions in this manner, poems for poetry matches have a certain way about them and that’s simply how it is. Thus, the Left wins.
Round Three
Left (Win)
たれよりも秋のあはれやまさるらん声にたてては鹿ぞ鳴くなる
| tare yori mo aki no aware ya masaruran koe ni tatete wa shika zo nakunaru | Who might it be that The sadness of autumn Strikes more keenly? Lifting up his voice, It is the stag crying out! |
Lord Yorisuke
29
Right
春夏はなにに心をなぐさめて秋のみ鹿の妻をこふらん
| haru natsu wa nani ni kokoro o nagusamete aki nomi shika no tsuma o kouran | Spring and summer, too, How do they the heart Console? ‘Tis in autumn, alone, the stag Seems to yearn for his mate. |
Kenshō
30
The Left charmingly sounds as if the scene it describes is entirely natural. The Right isn’t bad, but, I seem to recall that there was a poem in—I think it was the Poetry Match at Lord Aritsuna’s Residence—that has the phrase ‘In autumn, above all, / The stag seems to yearn for his mate’, so it would have better to refrain from the final two lines. The Left should win.
Round Two
Left (Win)
ふく風も身にしむ秋の夕ぐれに哀をそふる鹿のこゑかな
| fuku kaze mo mi ni shimu aki no yūgure ni aware o souru shika no koe kana | The gusting wind Pierces my flesh on an autumn Evening, as Sadness laces The stag’s cry! |
Lord Michyoshi
27
Right
妻こふるさ夜ふけがたの鹿のねに声うちそへて秋風ぞ吹く
| tsuma kouru sayo fukegata no shika no ne ni koe uchisoete akikaze zo fuku | Yearning for his mate as Brief night wears on, A stag’s cry Is voiced, lacing The gusting autumn wind. |
Tamechika
28
Both Left and Right have the same overall content, but the Left’s ‘yearning for his mate as / Brief night wears on’ reverses the appropriate order of the diction: it would be preferable to say ‘Brief night wears on as / Yearning for his mate’. The Left has no such issues and so it should win.
