Left
さえわたる月のひかりやすみよしのまつのはしのぎふれるしらゆき
| saewataru tsuki no hikari ya sumiyoshi no matsu no ha shinogi fureru shirayuki | So chill The moon’s light, that Sumiyoshi’s Pines’ needles seem weighed down With fallen snow. |
Grand Dharma Master Yūsei[i]
37
Right (Win)
月のすむなにはのうらのけしきにはかみのこころもたえずやあるらむ
| tsuki no sumu naniwa no ura no keshiki ni wa kami no kokoro mo taezu ya aruramu | The moon rising above The bay of Naniwa— At the scene Even the Deity’s heart Must be unable to endure… |
Lord Fujiwara no Norimori
Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[ii]
38
The poem of the Left appears pleasant in configuration and sequencing, but it lacks any profundity of thought and simply seems to flow easily. The Right’s poem appears to have some conception, managing to follow ‘Having a sensitive heart: / To such a one would I show / The land of Tsu’[1] and also seems to sound as if it conveys the sense of the old poem about a man finding the bay of Naniwa unbearably fine[2]. With that being said, expanding this to the Deity’s heart as well is charming. Thus, the Right wins.
[1] Sent to someone’s residence, when he was in Tsu province around the beginning of the year. こころあらむ人にみせばやつのくにのなにはわたりのはるのけしきを kokoro aramu / hito ni miseba ya / tsu no kuni no / naniwa watari no / haru no keshiki o ‘I would to a sensitive / Soul show / The land of Tsu / Around Naniwa— / Truly, the scenery of spring!’ Dharma Master Dōin (GSIS I: 43)
[2] Composed as a spring poem, when he presented a hundred-poem sequence. 心なきわが身なれども津の国の難波の春にたへずも有るかな kokoro naki / wagami naredomo / tsu no kuni no / naniwa no haru ni / taezu mo aru kana ‘Insensitive / Is my sorry self, yet / In the land of Tsu / Naniwa in springtime is / Unbearably fine!’ Fujiwara no Suemichi (SZS II: 106/Kyūan hyakushu 413)
[i] Daihōshi Yūsei大法師祐盛
[ii] San’i jūgoige Fujiwara ason Norimori 散位従五位下藤原朝臣憲盛