Left (Win).
みじか夜も鳥より後ぞ明やらぬ老の寢覺に物思ふ身は
| mijika yo mo tori yori nochi zo akeyaranu oi no nezame ni mono’omou mi wa |
A brief space of night, and After hearing that bird sound, Dawn still fails to break: Waking from sleep when old, My head is full of gloomy thoughts… |
231
Right.
夏の夜はたゝく水鶏のひまなきに程なくあくる天の戸なれや
| natsu no yo wa tataku kuina no himanaki ni hodo naku akuru ama no to nare ya |
Throughout the summer night Knocking is the water rail Without a pause, so In moments will light Break through Heaven’s door? |
232
The Right state, ‘Starting with simply “a brief space of night” (mijika yo mo) seems unsatisfying. In addition, something seems lacking from “after hearing that bird” (tori yori nochi).’ The Left reply, ‘We can cite the examples of “While a brief space of night breaks” (mizika yo no Fukeyuku mama ni) and “calling in the Fifth Month’s brief space of night” (naku ya satuki no mizika yo) both of which are known to be superlative poems. There is nothing particular to remark upon in the Right’s poem.’
Shunzei comments, ‘I, too, know well the feeling of waking from sleep when old. The Left’s poem is superior to the Right’s.’