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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 21

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Left (Win).

時しもあれ寢覺の空に鴫立て秋のあはれをかき集むらん

toki shimo are
nezame no sora ni
shigi tachite
aki no aware o
kakiatsumuran		 It always seems that
On waking, to the skies
The snipe are starting;
All of autumn’s sorrows
Do they sweep together…

Lord Ari’ie.

401

Right.

明けぬとや同じ心に急ぐらん門田の鴫も今ぞ羽かく

akenu to ya
onaji kokoro ni
isoguran
kadota no shigi mo
ima zo hane kaku		 Is it that with the dawn,
Just as I,
They must make speed?
The snipe outwith my gates
Are now their wings a’beating.

Lord Tsune’ie.

402

The Right state, ‘Though the Left’s “Do they sweep together” (kakiatsumuran) was used in older compositions, it does not sound good.’ The Left reply, ‘Why have the Right used “make speed” (isogu), when the topic of the poem is not “Travel”?’

Shuzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s poem on “Snipe” has the lines All of autumn’s sorrows do they sweep together” (aki no aware o kakiatsumuran), and this is more redolent of hunters gathering bedding, or fisher-folk gathering seaweed for salt, however, the point about the Right’s use of “the snipe outwith my gates”, despite the topic not being “Travel”, “just as I they must make speed”, is very well made. The Left wins by a hair.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 20

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Left (Win).

唐衣裾野の庵の旅枕袖より鴫の立つ心地する

karakoromo
susono no io no
tabimakura
sode yori shigi no
tatsu kokochisuru		 Clothed in Cathay robes
In a hut at Susono
My traveller’s pillow –
My sleeve – from which the snipe
I feel are starting.

Lord Sada’ie.

399

Right.

旅衣夜半のあはれも百羽がき鴫立つ野邊の暁の空

tabi makura
yowa no aware mo
momohagaki
shigi tatsu nobe no
akatsuki no sora		 Clad in traveller’s garb
All night long in lonely reverie
As beating wings time and again
Snipe start from the fields
Into the dawning sky.

Nobusada.

400

The Right query whether it is possible to draw an association between ‘Cathay robes’ and snipe? The Left wonder about the usage of’lonely reverie as beating wings’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The criticisms from both teams are ones I have encountered before. As the poet has used ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ (sode yori shigi), and ‘a hut at Susono’ (susono no io), it requires the use of ‘Cathay robes’ (kara koromo) – there is no more to it than that. As for the Right, saying ‘Snipe start from the fields’ (shigi tatsu nobe) and ‘All night long in lonely reverie as beating wings time and again’ (yowa no aware mo momohagaki) – there is no fault to be found here, either. However, saying ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ is better. It must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 12

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Left (Win).

秋よたゞ眺め捨ても出なまし此里のみの夕と思はば

aki yo tada
nagamesutetemo
idenamashi
kono sato nomi no
yūbe to omowaba		 O, Autumn!
Could I escape you
I would leave
This dwelling, were it alone
Enveloped in evening..

Lord Sada’ie.

383

Right.

眺めつる軒端の萩の音信て松風になる夕暮の空

nagametsuru
nokiba no hagi no
otozurete
matsukaze ni naru
yūgure no sora		 Gazing
At the bush clover ‘neath my eaves,
A visitor’s step
Awaiting, carried by the pine-brushed wind,
From the evening skies…

Jakuren.

384

Neither team has any criticisms of the other’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: There is no distinction to make between the diction or emotional import of either poem. There is, of course, no reason to expect the wind not to blow through the pine trees, when it brushes the bush clover. I feel that the sentiment of this poem’s ‘pine-brushed wind’ (matsukaze ni naru) resembles that of Round One Hundred and Ninety’s ‘Insects sing from the cogon grasses in my garden’ (mushi no ne ni naru niwa no asajū), but is somewhat inferior. The Left, though, truly captures the feeling.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 8

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Left (Win).

夕霧に千草の花はこもれども隱れぬ物は蟲の聲ごゑ

yūgiri ni
chigusa no hana wa
komoredomo
kakurenu mono wa
mushi no koegoe		In the evening mists
A multitude of blooms
Are enveloped, yet
Unhidden are
The insects’ songs…

Lord Suetsune.

375

Right.

野邊の色はみな薄墨に成にけりしばしと見ゆ夕霧の空

nobe no iro wa
mina usuzumi ni
narinikeri
shibashi to miyu
yūgiri no sora		The fields’ hues
Have all with a weak wash of ink
Been overlayed;
Only briefly yet visible
Is the misty evening sky…

Lord Takanobu.

376

An AI generated image showing a view over a meadow in Japan in the early evening. Mist fills the air almost blocking out the sight of the moon, which has just risen, and also deadens and softens the colours of the the grasses and flowers in the meadow.
Created with Adobe Firefly.
A kuzushiji version of the poem's text.
Created with Soan.

The Right state that, ‘The Left’s poem is supposed to be on the theme of “evening mists”, but it seems to be more focussed on “insects”. The Left counter with, ‘the use of “weak wash of ink” (usuzumi) is unsuited to the end of the poem. The theme of “autumn evenings” is dully depicted, is it not?’

Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s poem does begin with ‘in the evening mists’ (yūgiri ni), it certainly is a poem on insects. In terms of diction, though, ‘all with a weak wash of ink’ (mina usuzumi) is not permissible. Thus, even though it is on insects, the Left wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 26

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Left.

百草の花もいかにか思ふらんあな情なの今朝の野分や

momokusa no
hana mo ika ni ka
omouran
ana nasakena no
kesa no nowaki ya		 A myriad of grasses’
Bloom: o what
To think?
How heartless was
The gale this morning!

Lord Kanemune.

351

Right (Win).

吹亂る野分の風の荒ければ安き空なき花の色色

fukimidaru
nowaki no kaze no
arakereba
yasuki sora naki
hana no iroiro		 Blown into confusion by
The gale’s gusts
So fierce;
No respite to bloom
For any of the blossoms!

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

352

Neither Left nor Right can find anything to remark upon this round, and say as much.

Shunzei states, ‘“How heartless” (ana nasake na) is, indeed, an intriguing choice of words. The Right’s “blown into confusion” (fukimidaru) is reminiscent of the Tamakazura’s poem in Genji and all the more charming for it, is it not? Furthermore, the Left’s “blooms: o what” (hana mo ika ni ka) and the Right’s “no respite to bloom” (yasuki sora naki) are of equivalent quality, but the Left’s “myriad of grasses” lacks a linking term. Including “blown into confusion” makes the Right’s poem slightly superior, I would say.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 14

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Left (Tie).

稲妻の光にのみやなぐさめむ田中の里の夕闇の空

inazuma no
hikari ni nomi ya
nagusamemu
tanaka no sato no
yūyami no sora		 Is it lightning’s
Light alone, that
Can console?
Dwelling among the rice-fields
Beneath the blackened evening sky.

Kenshō.

327

Right (Tie).

賤の男が山田の庵の苫を粗み漏る稲妻を友とこそ見れ

shitsu no o ga
yamada no io no
toma o arami
moru inazuma o
tomo to koso mire		 A peasant in
The mountain fields, whose hut has
A rough roof of straw:
The lightning dripping in
Seems his single friend.

Lord Tsune’ie.

328

As with the previous round, neither team can find fault with the other’s poem.

Shunzei, however, says, ‘The initial part of the Left’s poem is fine, indeed, but one wonders where the “dwelling among the rice fields” (tanaka no sato) is. I wonder whether nowadays poets can simply refer to a house among the rice fields. I do seem to have heard it before, but for the life of me I cannot remember where. As for the Right’s poem, this, too, has a perfectly standard beginning, but then has the expression “lightning dripping” (moru inazuma) – this seems rather new-fangled to me! Both poems are about the same.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 11

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Left (Win).

星合の空の光となる物は雲井の庭に照らす灯し火

hoshiai no
sora no hikari to
naru mono wa
kumoi no niwa ni
terasu tomoshibi		 The stars meeting in
The sky is lit
By
The Palace gardens’
Shining torches.

A Servant Girl.

321

Right.

七夕は雲の上より雲の上に心を分けて嬉しかるらん

tanabata wa
kumo no ue yori
kumo no ue ni
kokoro o wakete
ureshikaruran		 At Tanabata
Above the heavens’ clouds, and
Above the clouds on earth
Between them is the heart divided
In joy, no doubt!

Nobusada.

322

The Right state that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left, on the other hand, say, ‘The Right’s poem seems to have very little of celebration about it. In addition, the expression “Above the heavens’ clouds, and above the clouds on earth” (kumo no ue yori kumo no ue ni) seems to have reversed the proper sense.’ (‘Above the clouds’ was a standard euphemism for the palace, and by association, the Emperor. Putting him in a secondary position here was perceived as a fault.)

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘“Above the heavens’ clouds, and above the clouds on earth” can be criticised, I think, for repeating the same phrase twice. And, what might one make of it having “reversed the proper sense”? The Left’s poem is faultless. The Right’s does, indeed, lack a conception of celebration, so the Left, again, win this round.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 10

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Left (Win).

秋ごとに絶えぬ星合のさ夜更て光傡ぶる庭の灯し火

akigoto ni
taenu hoshiai no
sayo fukete
hikari naraburu
niwa no tomoshibi		 Each and every autumn,
For the eternal meeting of the stars
Night falls, and
Lights align with
The palace garden lanterns.

Lord Sada’ie.

319

Right.

露深き庭の灯し火數消ぬ夜や更ぬらん星合の空

tsuyu fukai
niwa no tomoshibi
kazu kienu
yo ya fukenuran
hoshiai no sora		 Deep dewfall
Upon the garden lanterns
Extinguished a number;
Has night fallen, I wonder,
Upon the sky wherein stars meet?

Ietaka.

320

The Right have no comments to make about the Left’s poem this round, while the Left simply say the Right’s poem has ‘major faults’. (Criticising the use of the completive marker nu twice in quick succession: kienu, fukenuran.)

Shunzei ignores this point, simply saying, ‘The expression “Has night fallen, I wonder, upon the sky wherein stars meet?” (yo ya fukenuran hoshiai no sora) is splendid, but there is no reason for beginning the poem with “deep dewfall” (tsuyu fukaki). The Lefts’ poem has no faults – thus, it must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 9

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Left (Tie).

七夕は今日貸す琴は何ならで逢ふにのみこそ心ひくらめ

tanabata wa
kyō kasu koto wa
nani narade
au ni nomi koso
kokoro hikurame		 For the Weaver Maid
That this day the zithers play
Means nothing;
‘Tis her meeting, alone,
That plucks upon her heart.

Lord Ari’ie.

317

Right (Tie).

薫物の匂ひも貸しつ七夕に思ふ思を空に知れとて

takimono no
nioi mo kashitsu
tanabata ni
omou omoi o
sora ni shire tote		 Incense
Scent I proffer
To the Weaver Maid;
The burning thoughts within my heart,
Let it carry to the heavens!

Lord Takanobu.

318

The Right state that ‘the expression “alone” (nomi) in Left’s poem is grating,’ while the Left have no particular criticisms of the Right.

Shunzei simply remarks, ‘The Left has a zither plucking the heart; the Right, the scent of burning incense carrying thoughts. Equally good word association. A tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 8

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Left (Win).

呉竹に過ぐる秋風さ夜更けて奠るほどにや星合の空

kuretake ni
suguru akikaze
sayo fukete
matsuru hodo ni ya
hoshiai no sora		 When the black bamboo
Is brushed by autumn breeze, and
Night falls,
Is it time to celebrate?
Stars meeting in the heavens…

Lord Kanemune.

315

Right.

九重に今日奠るをば七夕のたゞ一夜にも嬉しとや見る

kokonoe ni
kyō matsuru oba
tanabata no
tada hito yo ni mo
ureshi to ya miru		 Within the Ninefold Palace walls
This day we celebrate,
The lovers on
Just a single night:
Are they pleased, I wonder?

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

316

The Right state, ‘“Is it time to celebrate? Stars meeting in the heavens” (matsuru hodo ni ya hoshiai no sora) – the one does not seem to follow from the other. The Left wonder, ‘why we have an annual rite describe as “a single night” (tada hito yo), and not “but one night a year” (toshi ni hito yo)?’

Shunzei merely remarks, ‘“Is it time to celebrate? Stars meeting in the heavens” – this certainly does follow on, and there is nothing wrong with it. The point about “a single night” is well made. The Left wins.’