Left.
風通ふ扇に秋のさそはれてまづ手なれぬる閨の月影
| kaze kayou ōgi ni aki no sasowarete mazu te narenuru neya no tsukikage |
The breeze wafted By my fan to autumn Beckons; Accustomed before me to have A moonlit bed. |
261
Right (Win).
うちはらふ扇の風のほどなきに思ひこめたる荻の音かな
| uchiharau ōgi no kaze no hodo naki ni omoikometaru ogi no oto kana |
Sweeping My fan, the breeze Ceaselessly Brings thoughts of Rustling silver grass. |
262
Both teams consider the other’s poems to be ‘not bad’ this round.
Shunzei, however, finds fault with both: ‘The Left’s “bed” (neya) does occur in both Chinese poetry and our own, however, I cannot help but find it undesirable. The Right’s “Sweeping my fan” (uchiharau ōgi) and “Brings thoughts of silver grass” (omoikometaru ogi) are both fine examples of mangled expression, and are, moreover, unclear. Thus, “a moonlit bed” must win, I feel.