Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō-ni nen 14

Left (Tie)

ゆきもあはぬちぎのかたそぎもる月をしもとやかみのおもひますらむ

yuki mo awanu
chigi no katasogi
moru tsuki o
shimo to ya kami no
omoimasuramu
Fail to entwine do
The chiliad of trees, while from the ridge poles
Drips the moon—
‘Tis frost, perhaps, does the Deity
Deign to wonder?

Lord Taira no Tsunemasa
Supernumerary Director of the Bureau of Horses, Left Division
Governor of Awaji
Exalted Fifth Rank, Lower Grade[i]
27

Right

しろたへのゆきかとみればかぜさえて月ぞしづるるすみよしのまつ

shirotae no
yuki ka to mireba
kaze saete
tsuki zo shizururu
sumiyoshi no matsu
White as mulberry cloth,
I wonder, if ‘tis snow, I see—
In the chill wind
The moon slips from
The pines of Sumiyoshi…

Lord Minamoto no Nakatsuna
Governor of Oki
Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade[ii]
28

The configuration of the Left appears elegant, but the expression ‘chiliad of trees’ was said to be impermissible by Lord Mototoshi in his judgement on a poetry competition held in a certain place. The final section, too, seems to require a bit more thought [because it’s insulting to the deity]. As for the Right, the conception of wondering if the moon’s light shining through the trees is snow slipping off them is charming, but I do wonder about the sound of ‘the moon slips’ as a piece of diction. The initial ‘white as mulberry cloth’, too, sounds like it needs further thought [because this is not used to modify ‘snow’], so these should tie.


[i] Shōgoige-gyō sauma gon-kami ken awaji no kami Taira ason Tsunemasa正五位下行左馬権頭兼淡路守平朝臣経正

[ii] Jūgoige-gyō oki no kami Minamoto ason Nakatsuna 従五位下行隠岐守源朝臣仲綱

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