Winter I: 4



yamazato wa
kozue sabishiku
arashi no oto mo
niwa no kareba ni
In a mountain home
The treetops, desolately,
Are completely bare;
The storm-wind’s sound
Is in my garden’s withered leaves…

Lord Ari’ie.


Right (Win).


ko no ha chiru
toyama no kure o
sode ni arashi no
koe zo kudakuru
All the leaves are fallen, as
Through the distant mountain’s dusk
I make my way;
Upon my sleeves, the storm-wind’s
Cry is shattered.



The Right state that the Left’s poem ‘seems superficially appealing, but actually has nothing remarkable about it.’ The Left question how the poet can ‘make his way through the dusk’ (kure o wakeyuku) and ‘shatter’ (kudakuru) the wind.

Shunzei’s judgment: The lower section of the Left’s poem is charming [okashiku koso haberu], but the initial section is frequently used, and old fashioned [tsune no furugoto nite]. The Right’s shattering of the wind in ‘the distant mountains’ dusk’ is a questionable expression [obotsukanaki yō], but the Left’s initial section really does sound as if it lacks any artistry [muisugite kikoyu]. The Right’s total effect is most fine [sugata yoroshiku miehaberi]. It should win.

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