Left (Tie).
散果てん木葉の音を殘しても色こそなけれ嶺の松風
chirihaten
ko no ha no oto o
nokoshitemo
iro koso nakere
mine no matsukaze |
Completely scattered
Are the leaves, but the sound
Remains
Lacking only the hue
As the wind blows through the pines on the peak. |
A Servant Girl.
491
Right.
時雨ゆく松の緑は空晴て嵐にくもる峰の紅葉葉
shigure yuku
matsu no midori wa
sora harete
arashi ni kumoru
mine no momijiba |
Is drizzle falling
On the pines so green?
The skies are clear,
Clouded only by a storm
Of scarlet leaves from the peaks… |
Jakuren.
492
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left state that they find the Right’s poem, ‘difficult to grasp’. In reply, the Right say, ‘It is conceived after a Chinese poem that “the wind in the pines is the sound of rain”.’
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem is excellent in both configuration and diction [sugata kotoba yoroshiku haberumere]. The Right’s ‘clouded only by a storm’ (arashi ni kumoru) sounds charming in conception [kokoro okashiku kikoyu] – even without drawing upon the Chinese model. In this round, too, there is no clear winner or loser and it must tie.
Left.
はかなしや浮きたる風に誘はれていづち生田の杜の木葉ぞ
hakanashi ya
ukitaru kaze ni
sasowarete
izuchi ikuta no
mori no konoha zo |
How fleeting!
The fickle wind
Beckons, but
Where does Ikuta’s
Sacred grove send its leaves? |
Lord Suetsune.
489
Right.
惜しみかね嶺の紅葉に染置きし心の色も散り果てにけり
oshimikane
mine no momiji ni
someokishi
kokoro no iro mo
chirihatenikeri |
I cannot regret, that
Scarlet leaves from on the peak
Have laid a stain
Upon the hues within my heart
And scattered them all over! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
490
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left wonder whether the use of ‘I cannot regret’ (oshimikane) implies that the poet feels nothing prior to that.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s final section is elegant [yū ni haberu], but although I have heard of many different types of wind, I have no recollection of any familiarity [kikinarete mo oboehaberane] with a ‘fickle wind’ (ukitaru kaze). While I feel the Right’s poem has no particular faults, the initial ‘I cannot regret’ (oshimikane) does not seem to fit will with what follows. The poems are alike and the round must tie.
Left.
山里は梢さびしく散果てゝ嵐の音も庭の枯葉に
yamazato wa
kozue sabishiku
chirihatete
arashi no oto mo
niwa no kareba ni |
In a mountain home
The treetops, desolately,
Are completely bare;
The storm-wind’s sound
Is in my garden’s withered leaves… |
Lord Ari’ie.
487
Right (Win).
木葉散る外山の暮を分行ば袖に嵐の聲ぞ砕くる
ko no ha chiru
toyama no kure o
wakeyukeba
sode ni arashi no
koe zo kudakuru |
All the leaves are fallen, as
Through the distant mountain’s dusk
I make my way;
Upon my sleeves, the storm-wind’s
Cry is shattered. |
Ietaka.
488
The Right state that the Left’s poem ‘seems superficially appealing, but actually has nothing remarkable about it.’ The Left question how the poet can ‘make his way through the dusk’ (kure o wakeyuku) and ‘shatter’ (kudakuru) the wind.
Shunzei’s judgment: The lower section of the Left’s poem is charming [okashiku koso haberu], but the initial section is frequently used, and old fashioned [tsune no furugoto nite]. The Right’s shattering of the wind in ‘the distant mountains’ dusk’ is a questionable expression [obotsukanaki yō], but the Left’s initial section really does sound as if it lacks any artistry [muisugite kikoyu]. The Right’s total effect is most fine [sugata yoroshiku miehaberi]. It should win.
Left.
かつ惜しむ眺めも移る庭の色よ何を梢の冬に殘さん
katsuoshimu
nagame mo utsuru
niwa no iro yo
nani o kozue no
fuyu ni nokosan |
A slight regret I feel, as
My gaze shifts
With the garden’s hues;
What of the treetops
Will remain in winter? |
Lord Sada’ie.
485
Right.
散り積もる紅葉かき分來て見れば色さへ深き山路なりけり
chiritsumoru
momiji kakiwake
kitemireba
iro sae fukaki
yamaji narikeri |
Fallen in drifts,
Forging through the scarlet leaves
I come, and see
The depth of colour laid
Upon the mountain paths. |
Lord Takanobu.
486
The Right state that the Left’s poem is lacking in conception [kokoro yukazu]. The Left respond that the Right’s poem, as in the previous round, is old-fashioned in both conception and diction [kokoro kotoba onaji yō ni furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem does seem to have some conception about it, despite the Right’s criticism of this as lacking. Although the Right’s ‘depths of colour’ (iro sae fukaki) appears easy to grasp, again, the round should tie.
Left.
いかばかり散積もればか大井河流れもやらぬ紅葉なるらむ
ika bakari
chiritsumoreba ka
ōikawa
nagare mo yaranu
momiji naruramu |
How many
Have fallen altogether upon
Ōi River?
That its flow is stopped
With scarlet leaves… |
Kanemune.
483
Right.
紅に關の小川は成にけり音羽の山に紅葉散るらし
kurenai ni
seki no ogawa wa
narinikeri
otowa no yama ni
momiji chirurashi |
Scarlet
Has the stream by the barrier
Become.
On Otowa Mountain
The leaves must be falling… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
484
The Right state that the Left’s use of –ba ka is grating on the ear [kikinikushi], and query whether saying the ‘flow is stopped’ (nagare mo yaranu) is appropriate. The Left simply say the Right’s poem ‘seems old-fashioned’ [furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: The diction used in the Left’s poem, -ba ka, is simply old-fashioned, and the Right’s criticism is misplaced [sama de arubekarazu]. In addition, I am dubious of their criticism of the latter part of the poem. A somewhat pretentious use of ‘falling leaves’, perhaps? In the Right’s poem, it is inappropriate to combine ‘Otowa Mountain’, ‘stream by the barrier’ and –rashi [because it is an archaic word]. It certainly does not resemble, for example, ‘Mountain dwellings of the gods scarlet leaves look to be falling’ (mimuro no yama ni momiji chirurashi). In addition, ‘Scarlet has the stream by the barrier become’, would mean an excessive fall of leaves, indeed! The Left’s ba ka should win.
Left (Tie).
晴曇る時雨に色を染ながら隙なく降るは木葉成けり
harekumoru
shigure ni iro o
somenagara
himanaku furu wa
ko no ha narikeri |
From the unsettled skies
Drizzle with colour
Stains
The ever-falling
Leaves from the trees. |
Kenshō.
481
Right.
時雨つる嶺の叢雲晴のきて風より降るは木葉なりけり
shiguretsuru
mine no murakumo
harenokite
kaze yori furu wa
ko no ha narikeri |
Drizzle done,
The peaks the clearing clouds
Reveal;
Now the winds are done, fallen are
The leaves from the trees. |
Nobusada.
482
Both teams state they find no particular faults with the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on the topic of ‘falling leaves’, and both ‘The ever-falling leaves from the trees’ (himanaku furu wa ko no ha) and ‘Now the winds are done, fallen are’ (kaze yori furu wa), in conception and diction, are charming [kokoro kotoba tomo no okashiku kikoyu]. They must tie.
'Simply moving and elegant'