稲妻の光の間にも忘れしと言ひしは人のことにぞありける
| inaduma no Fikari no ma ni mo wasuresi to iFisi Fa Fito no koto ni zo arikeru |
“In the lightning’s Momentary flash I did forget” To have said that is Truly so like him! |
Tag Archives: hikari
Kokin rokujō I: 813
Sankashū 379
Sanboku kikashū II: 315
Minishū 1947
Winter II: 6
Left (Tie).
雲深き嶺の朝明けのいかならん槇の戸白む雪の光に
| kumo fukaki mine no asake no ika naran maki no to shiramu yuki no hikari ni |
Deep within the clouds, Morning to the peaks must come, But how? I wonder, With whitening round my cedar door, Brightened by the snow… |
551
Right.
眺めやる衣手寒し有明の月より殘る峰の白雪
| nagameyaru koromode samushi ariake no tsuki yori nokoru mine no shirayuki |
Gazing on, How chill my sleeves; The dawntime Moon will linger less than The snowfall on the peaks… |
552
Both teams say they find the other’s poem moving.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem has ‘deep snow’ (yuki fukaki), ‘whitening round my cedar door’ (maki no to shiramu), and the Right has ‘the dawntime moon will linger less than’ (ariake no tsuki yori nokoru) – the conception and diction of both are splendid [kokoro kotoba tomo ni yoroshiku koso haberumere]. It seems to me that is exactly how winter mornings are. Thus, it is difficult to say which is better. This must be a good tie [yoki ji].
Autumn II: 28
Left (Tie).
眺めやる心の末も泊まれとや月に宿貸す廣澤の池
| nagameyaru kokoro no sue mo tomare to ya tsuki ni yado kasu hirosawa no ike |
‘Your wandering gaze Will find a resting place Here!’, is that what you say? Lending lodging to the moon, O, pond at Hirosawa! |
415
Right (Tie).
更科も明石もこゝに誘ひ來て月の光は廣澤の池
| sarashina mo akashi mo koko ni sasoikite tsuki no hikari wa hirosawa no ike |
Should I Sarashina and Akashi bring here, The best moonlight would be on Hirosawa Pond. |
416
Neither Left nor Right have any criticisms to make this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s “‘Will find a resting place here!’, is that what you say?” (kokoro no sue mo tomare to ya) seems particularly fine [yoroshiku koso miehaberu], but so is the Right’s “Akashi bring here” (akashi mo koko ni sasoikite) in form and diction [sugata kotoba] and so it is impossible to say it is inferior to the Left. This is a solid tie [yoki ji].
Autumn II: 26
Left (Tie).
澄み來ける跡は光に殘れども月こそ古りね廣澤の池
| sumikikeru ato wa hikari ni nokoredomo tsuki koso furine hirosawa no ike |
Limpid Traces of light Remain, and yet The moon shows no sign of age Above Hirosawa Pond. |
411
Right.
隈もなく月澄む夜半は廣澤の池は空にぞ一つなりける
| kuma mo naku tsuki sumu yowa wa hirosawa no ike wa sora ni zo hitotsu narikeru |
Completely full The moon is clear at midnight: Hirosawa Pond and the heavens Have become as one. |
412
The Right query the expressions ‘light remain’ (hikari ni nokoru) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine), and also say that the Left’s poem lack emotional overtones of a ‘View’ as a topic. The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: On the Left’s poem, I do not strongly feel that expressions such as ‘traces of light’ (ato wa hikari ni) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine) are particularly bad, but the gentlemen of the Right have identified two faults with the poem. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that there is much sense of a view in expressions such as, ‘pond and the heavens’ (ike wa sora ni zo), and the frequency of wa in tsuki sumu yowa wa, and ike wa, means the poem is lacking in form; it is truly unfortunate that I cannot declare the Left, which lacks a sense of a View, the winner.
Autumn I: 16
Left.
宵の間の月待つ程の雲間より思はぬ影を見する稲妻
| yoi no ma no tsuki matsu hodo no kumoma yori omowanu kage o misuru inazuma |
In the early evening While waiting for the moon, From between the clouds All unexpected is the light Of lightning. |
331
Right (Win).
夕月夜かげろふ宵の雲間より光をかへて照らす稲妻
| yūzukuyo kagerō yoi no kumoma yori hikari o kaete terasu inazuma |
The evening moon Misty is at dusk, when From between the clouds Comes a different light: A flash of lightning! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
332
Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei, however, says, ‘Both poems contain the line “from between the clouds” (kumoma yori), with the Left “while waiting for the moon” (tsuki matsu hodo) and the Right “The evening moon misty is at dusk” (yūzukuyo kagerō yoi). In addition to the fact that “misty” is far more charming in relation to an “evening moon”, than “waiting for the moon”, “all unexpected is the light” (omowanu kage) is not an expression I find particularly pleasing. “Comes a different light” (hikari o kaete) seem much finer. Thus, I make the right the winner.’
Autumn I: 14
Left (Tie).
稲妻の光にのみやなぐさめむ田中の里の夕闇の空
| inazuma no hikari ni nomi ya nagusamemu tanaka no sato no yūyami no sora |
Is it lightning’s Light alone, that Can console? Dwelling among the rice-fields Beneath the blackened evening sky. |
327
Right (Tie).
賤の男が山田の庵の苫を粗み漏る稲妻を友とこそ見れ
| shitsu no o ga yamada no io no toma o arami moru inazuma o tomo to koso mire |
A peasant in The mountain fields, whose hut has A rough roof of straw: The lightning dripping in Seems his single friend. |
328
As with the previous round, neither team can find fault with the other’s poem.
Shunzei, however, says, ‘The initial part of the Left’s poem is fine, indeed, but one wonders where the “dwelling among the rice fields” (tanaka no sato) is. I wonder whether nowadays poets can simply refer to a house among the rice fields. I do seem to have heard it before, but for the life of me I cannot remember where. As for the Right’s poem, this, too, has a perfectly standard beginning, but then has the expression “lightning dripping” (moru inazuma) – this seems rather new-fangled to me! Both poems are about the same.’