Autumn II: 26

Left (Tie).


ato wa hikari ni
tsuki koso furine
hirosawa no ike
Traces of light
Remain, and yet
The moon shows no sign of age
Above Hirosawa Pond.

Lord Sada’ie.




kuma mo naku
tsuki sumu yowa wa
hirosawa no
ike wa sora ni zo
hitotsu narikeru
Completely full
The moon is clear at midnight:
Pond and the heavens
Have become as one.

Lord Tsune’ie.


The Right query the expressions ‘light remain’ (hikari ni nokoru) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine), and also say that the Left’s poem lack emotional overtones of a ‘View’ as a topic. The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: On the Left’s poem, I do not strongly feel that expressions such as ‘traces of light’ (ato wa hikari ni) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine) are particularly bad, but the gentlemen of the Right have identified two faults with the poem. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that there is much sense of a view in expressions such as, ‘pond and the heavens’ (ike wa sora ni zo), and the frequency of wa in tsuki sumu yowa wa, and ike wa, means the poem is lacking in form; it is truly unfortunate that I cannot declare the Left, which lacks a sense of a View, the winner.

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