Left (Win).
心には見ぬ昔こそ浮びけれ月に眺むる廣澤の池
kokoro ni wa
minu mukashi koso
ukabikere
tsuki ni nagamuru
hirosawa no ike |
Within my heart
Unseen times of old
Arise,
Gazing at the moon
Over Hirosawa Pond… |
A Servant Girl.
419
Right.
行方なくながむる空も廣澤の池の心に澄める月影
yukuenaku
nagamuru sora mo
hirosawa no
ike no kokoro ni
sumeru tsukikage |
Endlessly
Drawing my gaze: the skies, and
Hirosawa
Pond – right at the heart –
Bright moonlight. |
Ietaka.
420
The Right state that the Left’s poem is ‘extraordinarily accomplished’ [sugoburu yoroshi]. The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s final section, ‘Gazing at the moon’ (tsuki ni nagamuru) is superb [yoroshiku haberi]. Thus, it must win.
Left (Tie).
廣澤の池冴えわたる月影は都まで敷く氷成けり
hirosawa no
ike saewataru
tsukikage wa
miyako made shiku
kōri narikeri |
Upon Hirosawa
Pond, so brightly falls
The moonlight that
All up to the capital is spread
A sheet of ice, or so it seems. |
Kenshō.
417
Right.
月清み都の空も雲清みて松風拂ふ廣澤の池
tsuki kiyomi
miyako no sora mo
kumo sumite
matsukaze harau
hirosawa no ike |
The moon, so clear;
The skies above the capital
Swept clean of cloud by
Winds rustling in the pines
Round Hirosawa Pond. |
Jakuren.
418
Both Left and Right state that their opinions are as in the previous round.
Shunzei’s judgement: I do wonder about ‘Upon Hirosawa Pond, so brightly falls’ (hirosawa no ike saewataru) followed by ‘All up to the capital is spread a sheet of ice’ (miyako made shiku kōri). ‘The skies above the capital swept clean of cloud by winds rustling in the pines’ (miyako no sora mo kumo sumite matsukaze harau) is elevated in expression [take aru sama], and although ‘the moon, so clear’ (tsuki kiyomi) is archaic diction [furuki kotoba], in this poem it may be difficult to judge it entirely appropriate [yoroshi to mo kikinashigataku]. Thus, this round should tie.
Left (Tie).
眺めやる心の末も泊まれとや月に宿貸す廣澤の池
nagameyaru
kokoro no sue mo
tomare to ya
tsuki ni yado kasu
hirosawa no ike |
‘Your wandering gaze
Will find a resting place
Here!’, is that what you say?
Lending lodging to the moon,
O, pond at Hirosawa! |
Lord Kanemune.
415
Right (Tie).
更科も明石もこゝに誘ひ來て月の光は廣澤の池
sarashina mo
akashi mo koko ni
sasoikite
tsuki no hikari wa
hirosawa no ike |
Should I Sarashina and
Akashi bring
here,
The best moonlight would be on
Hirosawa Pond. |
Nobusada.
416
Neither Left nor Right have any criticisms to make this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s “‘Will find a resting place here!’, is that what you say?” (kokoro no sue mo tomare to ya) seems particularly fine [yoroshiku koso miehaberu], but so is the Right’s “Akashi bring here” (akashi mo koko ni sasoikite) in form and diction [sugata kotoba] and so it is impossible to say it is inferior to the Left. This is a solid tie [yoki ji].
Left (Win).
心こそ雲井はるかにあくがれめ眺めも誘ふ廣澤の月
kokoro koso
kumoi harukani
akugareme
nagame mo sasou
hirosawa no tsuki |
My heart
To the distant heavens
Is drawn
Pulled in by the sight
Of the moon at Hirosawa. |
Lord Ari’ie.
413
Right.
月の澄む空は外にも變らじを眼に餘る廣澤の影
tsuki no sumu
sora wa yoso ni mo
kawaraji wo
manako ni amaru
hirosawa no kage |
The moon, so clearly lodged
Within the skies, distant yet
Unchanging:
The sight can never sate my eyes
Light on Hirosawa. |
Lord Takanobu.
414
The Right complain that in the Left’s poem the phrase ‘moon at Hirosawa’ (hirosawa no tsuki) is ‘grating on the ear’. The Left respond that ‘The sight can never sate my eyes light on Hirosawa’ (manako ni amaru hirosawa no kage) in the Right’s poem is, too.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘moon at Hirosawa’, I do not feel to be grating. What sort of expression, though is ‘pulled in by the sight’ (nagame mo sasou)? The Right is reminiscent of expressions like ‘all four corners of the world do not exhaust my gaze’, which when one hear’s them in Chinese poetry are remarkable, but sound wrong in a Japanese poem, and are even incomprehensible! ‘The moon at Hirosawa’ is, perhaps, more interesting. Thus, the Left wins.
Left (Tie).
澄み來ける跡は光に殘れども月こそ古りね廣澤の池
sumikikeru
ato wa hikari ni
nokoredomo
tsuki koso furine
hirosawa no ike |
Limpid
Traces of light
Remain, and yet
The moon shows no sign of age
Above Hirosawa Pond. |
Lord Sada’ie.
411
Right.
隈もなく月澄む夜半は廣澤の池は空にぞ一つなりける
kuma mo naku
tsuki sumu yowa wa
hirosawa no
ike wa sora ni zo
hitotsu narikeru |
Completely full
The moon is clear at midnight:
Hirosawa
Pond and the heavens
Have become as one. |
Lord Tsune’ie.
412
The Right query the expressions ‘light remain’ (hikari ni nokoru) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine), and also say that the Left’s poem lack emotional overtones of a ‘View’ as a topic. The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: On the Left’s poem, I do not strongly feel that expressions such as ‘traces of light’ (ato wa hikari ni) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine) are particularly bad, but the gentlemen of the Right have identified two faults with the poem. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that there is much sense of a view in expressions such as, ‘pond and the heavens’ (ike wa sora ni zo), and the frequency of wa in tsuki sumu yowa wa, and ike wa, means the poem is lacking in form; it is truly unfortunate that I cannot declare the Left, which lacks a sense of a View, the winner.
Left (Win).
眺めやる心のはては廣澤の池より遠ちに出る月影
nagameyaru
kokoro no hate ha
hirosawa no
ike yori ochi ni
izuru tsukikage |
Gazing out
My heart goes
From Hirosawa
Pond somewhere far away
With the moonlight… |
Lord Suetsune.
409
Right.
廣澤の池には沈む月影の音羽の山に立ちのぼる哉
hirosawa no
ike ni wa shizumu
tsukikage no
otowa no yama ni
tachinoboru kana |
Into Hirosawa
Pond sinks
Moonlight:
Above Mount Otowa
Does it rise again? |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
410
The Right can find no fault with the Left’s poem this round. The Left, on the other hand, say that the Right’s poem, ‘is more redolent of Otowa Mountain than Hirosawa Pond’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Right seem to be gazing too far away. The Left must win.
'Simply moving and elegant'