Tag Archives: kokoro

Love IV: 21

Left (Win).
あらましに心は盡きぬ今夜とて待たばと思ふ夕暮の空

aramashi ni
kokoro wa tsukinu
koyoi tote
mataba to omou
yūgure no sora
Wondering if it will it be
Has been the sole focus of my thoughts;
Tonight, he said –
‘If only you could wait,’ so thinks
The evening sky…

Lord Ari’ie.
821

Right.
心さへかきくらすかなつくづくと思ひ入り日の空を眺めて

kokoro sae
kakikurasu kana
tsukuzuku to
omoi irihi no
sora o nagamete
My very heart
Is sunk in darkness;
On and on,
Go my thoughts with the setting sun,
Gazing at the sky…

Lord Tsune’ie.
822

The Right state: we find no faults. The Left state: saying ‘on and on’ (tsukuzuku) seems somewhat weak.

In judgement: the final line of the Left’s poem sounds elegant. Again, I make the Left the winner.

Love IV: 16

Left.
月を見てしばし思も忘られき晝間ぞ戀の慰めはなき

tsuki o mite
shibashi omoi mo
wasurareki
hiruma zo koi no
nagusame wa naki
Gazing at the moon
Briefly my sadness
I did forget; but
In the daylight, love is
No consolation, at all.

Lord Suetsune.
811

Right (Win).
傾かぬ妹が心に日影かな中空にのみ物思ひし

katabukanu
imo ga kokoro ni
hikage kana
nakazora ni nomi
mono’omoi shite
Not inclining is
My darling’s heart,
Just like this sunshine;
Upon the height of the heavens
Dwell my gloomy thoughts…

Nobusada.
812

The Right state: the Left’s poem has only ‘daylight’ (hiruma) and no other associated images, which makes it unpleasant on the ear. The Left state: we wonder about ‘Not inclining is my darling’ (katabukanu imo).

In judgement: in addition to the lack of associated images with ‘daylight’, the content of the initial line seems insufficient. Although the Right’s ‘not inclining is my darling’ is a little unclear, it seems as if her feelings are unmoved in any way. This is certainly seems like the conception of the sun being fixed overhead at noon, so the Right should win.