oki’akashi kumanaki tsuki o nagamureba nohara no kusa no tsuyu mo kakurezu
Lying awake ‘til dawn, and Upon the cloudless moon A’gazing— Upon the grasses o’er the plain Not a single dewdrop is concealed.
Mikawa 53
Right
月をみて心をこよひつくすかなくまなき空は又もこそあれ
tsuki o mite kokoro o koyoi tsukusu kana kumanaki sora wa mata mo koso are
Seeing the moon, Tonight, my heart Exhausts! The cloudless skies Once more are such!
Lord Kinshige 54
The Left’s ‘lying awake ‘til dawn, gazing’ suggests that the poet is at their own residence, but then it finally turns out that they are on the plain – what to make of this? It’s also the case that the moon doesn’t necessarily always appear over the plains. This poem should really have included a clearer reason for the poet’s journey. As for the Right, while it isn’t bad, the final line certainly regrettable, so this round is a tie.
ominaeshi izure no aki ka miezarishi nohara no kiri ni tachi na kakure so
O, maidenflower, In which autumn is it, that You have remained unseen? In the mists upon the meadow Stand and don’t hide yourself!
Kataoka Shrine Priest Kamo no Masahira 17
Right
心から夜のまの露にしほたれてあさじめりする女郎花かな
kokoro kara yo no ma no tsuyu ni shiotarete asajimerisuru ominaeshi kana
Her heart Throughout the night with dewdrops Drenches her, Dripping with morning tears is The maidenflower!
Fujiwara no Koreyuki, Supernumerary Junior Assistant Minster of the Sovereign’s Household 18
The Left is extremely absorbingly composed. As for the Right, though, I wonder about the use of being ‘drenched with dewdrops’—while it does put me in mind of fisherfolk at Ise, because it fails to indicate anything in the conception of the topic, it should lose, I think.
