yukashikuba yukitemo mimase yukishima no iwao ni ouru nadeshiko no hana
If you find them charming, then You should go and see While snow lies heavy on the garden’s Rock where grow The pinks in bloom.[i]
[i] An allusive variation on: A poem by Kamō, the dancing girl. 雪嶋 巌尓殖有 奈泥之故波 千世尓開奴可 君之挿頭尓 yuki no shima / iwao ni uetaru / nadeshiko wa / chiyo ni sakanu ka / kimi ga Kazashi ni ‘Snow lies heavy on the garden’s / Rocks where grow / The pinks: / o. won’t you bloom a thousand years? / That my Lord may wear you in his hair…’ (MYS XIX: 4232).
The Right team state that the Left’s poem, ‘seems good,’ while the Left state that the Right’s combination of nagarete (‘flow’) and kudasu (‘send down’) is ‘inharmonious and would be better reversed.’ (In his poem, Takanobu has combined an intransitive verb nagaru with a transitive one, kudasu, and the Left are complaining that it’s odd to have something flowing (on its own) and then being sent down (by someone), so it would have been better phrased as kudashite nagaru, ‘sent down and then flowed’.)
Shunzei comments that, ‘Both poems have superlative elements. The Right’s nagaretekudasu is not entirely inharmonious, but the Left’s “circling between the waves go the wine-cups of spring” is particularly fine. Thus, I award it victory.’
Yet again, neither team has anything to say about the other’s poem.
Shunzei says, ‘Both Left and Right have composed on “rock cleft wine cups”, with a concept of “proffered to someone” (sashite tare ni) or “I would proffer, yet” (kokorozasedomo): these are truly identical in quality. The round must tie.’
Both teams have no particular comments to make about the other’s poem.
Shunzei remarks, ‘Both poems are of similar quality, as has been mentioned by the gentlemen present, however, the Left’s poem is clearly in the spirit of “With blossom the heavens are drunk, in the season of plentiful peaches.” (A well known Chinese poem composed by Sugawara no Michzane.) But the Right’s “Springtime dusk draws on, a crescent moon” captures the light better, I think. Thus, it seems to be the winner.’