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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 19

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Left.

鷹の子を手にも据へねど鶉鳴く淡津の原に今日も暮しつ

taka no ko o
te ni mo suenedo
uzura naku
awazu no hara ni
kyō mo kurashitsu		 A hawklet
On my arm have I not, yet
The quails are crying
On Awazu plain, as
The day turns dark.

Kenshō.

337

Right.

秋といへば鶉鳴くなり原鹿の音をこそ花に任すれ

aki to ieba
uzura naku nari
kohagiwara
shika no ne o koso
hana ni makasure		 Autumn is
The quails crying, while
From a field of fresh bush clover,
The stags’ call,
Summoned by the blossoms.

Ietaka.

338

The Right state they have no particular criticisms of the Left this round. The Left, however, remark that, ‘“Quails” do not have such a general reputation. The use of “summoned by the blossoms” (hana ni makasure) is also dubious.’

Shunzei remarks, ‘The Left’s poem would seem to be in the spirit of the popular song “A Hawklet”, except that here the poet lacks the hawklet and “on Awazu plain, the day turns dark” (awazu no hara ni kyō mo kurashitsu). I can only think that he has spent the entire day there wondering about hunting quail! I also feel that the poem’s whole construction is rather commonplace. The Right’s poem is, indeed, poetic, and were there an exemplar poem for the blossoms summoning “the stags’ call” (shika no ne), I would make it the winner. In its absence, the round ties.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 9

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Left.

夏草の野嶋が崎の朝霧を分てぞ來つる萩の葉の摺り

natsukusa no
nojima ga saki no
asagiri o
wakete zo kitsuru
hagi no ha no suri		 Summer grass grows high
On Nojima Point;
Through the morning mists
Have I come forging,
Robes patterned with bush-clover leaves.

Kenshō.

197

Right (Win).

茂き野と夏もなりゆく深草の里はうづらの鳴かぬばかりぞ

shigekino to
natsu mo nariyuku
fukakusa no
sato wa uzura no
nakanu bakari zo		 Ever thicker grow the grasses and
With the summer’s passing, too,
At Fukakusa – deep within the greenery –
The quails
Let out not a cry – that’s all…

Ietaka.

198

The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left, however, say, ‘Using “summer’s passing, too” (natsu mo) appears to suggest a foundation upon something definite. What is it, however?’ The Right reply, ‘As the source poem is “A quail I shall become and cry” (udura to narite nakiworan), the impression given is of Autumn. Thus, “summer’s passing, too”.’

Shunzei judges, ‘The Left’s poem has as its final line, “Robes patterned with bush-clover leaves” (hagi no ha no suri), and before it, where one would expect to find the reason why the poet is forging across Nojima Point, is only “summer grass” (natsukusa no). This is repetitive. The Right’s poem, though, commencing with “ever thicker grasses” (shigeki no) is particularly fine in terms of configuration [sugata yoroshiki ni nitari]. Thus, it is the winner, this round.’