Round Eleven
Left (Win)
をしみかねあかぬ名残のくるしきに入るまではみじ秋のよの月
| oshimikane akanu nagori no kurushiki ni iru made wa miji aki no yo no tsuki | Unbearable regret, Unending is a memento Most painful— I would not watch until it sets: The moon this autumn night. |
Kenshō
69
Right
月影のかたぶくかたにさしいればやどのうちにも霜ぞ置きける
| tsukigage no katabuku kata ni sashi’ireba yado no uchi ni mo shimo zo okikeru | The moonlight as It descends Shines in, so Within my lodging Frost, indeed, has fallen. |
Lord Yorisuke
70
The Left, saying that the setting of the moon is a painful memento, and thus not watching it until the end seems excessively topsy-turvy. The Right, saying that the setting moon enters one’s lodging, is both pretentious and misses the point—surely it depends on the construction of the house! This shows know knowledge of how diction should be used, so the Left has to win.
Round Nine
Left
影きよく月をよこぎるうき雲は秋の名をさへけがしつるかな
| kage kiyoku tsuki yokogiru ukigumo wa aki no na sae kegashitsuru kana | The pure light of The moon crossing go The drifting clouds— The very name of autumn Have they besmirched! |
Arifusa
65
Right (Win)
照る月を浪のうへにてみる時ぞますみのかがみいる心ちする
| teru tsuki o nami no ue nite miru toki zo masumi no kagami iru kokochisuru | The shining moon Rests atop the waves, and When I gaze upon it, Within the clearest of mirrors Does it lie, I feel. |
Narinaka
66
What to make of the sound of the Left’s ‘besmirched the very name of autumn’? The Right does not seem to differ markedly from the conception of ‘Hundredfold Polished Mirror’[1] where it says that the moon ‘atop the waves’ is ‘all apiece with the autumn waters’ deeps’, does it. The Right should win.
[1] This is a reference to a poem by Bai Juyi, Bailianjing 百練鏡, contained in the Collected Works of Master Bai (Hakushi monjū 白氏文集), about a mirror which had been polished a hundred times. Kiyosuke quotes from the poem in his judgement, referring to the following passage: 江心波上舟中鋳 五月五日日午時 瓊粉金膏磨瑩已 化為一片秋潭水 jiangxinbo shang zhou zhong zhu / wu yue wu ri ri wushi / qiong fen jin gao mo ying yi / hua wei yipian qiu tan shui ‘In a boat atop the waves at the heart of the Yangtse / At noon on the 5th day of the Fifth Month / Polished with gemmed powdered seashells in golden oil / ‘Tis transformed and becomes all apiece with the autumn waters’ deeps.’
Round Eight
Left (Win)
月影をまつとをしむと秋の夜はふたたび山の端こそつらけれ
| tsukikage o matsu to oshimu to aki no yo wa futatabi yama no ha koso tsurakere | Moonlight A’waiting brings regret On autumn nights— Twice the mountains’ Edge do I hate so! |
Sadanaga
63
Right
吹きはらふ月のあたりの雲みれば春はいとひし風ぞうれしき
| fukiharau tsuki no atari no kumo mireba haru wa itoishi kaze zo ureshiki | Blown away From round the moon The clouds I see, so Hated in spring The wind fills me with joy! |
Koreyuki
64
The Right seems to be saying that clouds are blown away from round the moon, so it sounds as if the diction is reversed. Overall, it lacks soul. While the Left has an archaic conception, it should win.
Round Six
Left
しほ風の雲吹きはらふ秋のよは月すみわたる天のはしだて
| shiokaze no kumo fukiharau aki no yo wa tsuki sumiwataru ama no hashidate | The tidewinds Blow away the clouds On an autumn night The moon crossing clear above Ama-no-hashidate… |
Tamechika
59
Right (Win)
あかざりし花にたとへてながむれば月は心ぞすみまさりける
| akazarishi hana ni tatoete nagamureba tsuki wa kokoro zo sumimasarikeru | A never sating Blossom do I imagine it, When gazing at The moon, my heart is Most wonderfully clear. |
Lord Yorimasa
60
The Left: it is not possible to determine where the wind is blowing, yet saying ‘the tidewinds blow the clouds away’ conveys a different impression. The Right’s use of ‘imagine’ is unsatisfactory as a piece of diction, but this is not a significant fault, so it should win, I think.
Round Five
Left
さやけさに又ことごともわすられてふた心なく月をこそみれ
| sayakesa ni mata kotogoto mo wasurarete futagokoro naku tsuki o koso mire | In its pure clarity Still, all other things Are forgotten, With no divisions in my heart Do I view the moon! |
Lord Suetsune
57
Right (Win)
いかで猶秋しも月のかかりけむみるほどあらじ夏のよならば
| ikade nao aki shimo tsuki no kakarikemu miru hodo araji natsu no yo naraba | Why is it that always In autumn, above all, the moon Does seem to hang within the sky? There’s no time to see it, perhaps, On a summer night… |
Lay Priest Sanekiyo
58
The Left’s configuration is entirely lacking in consistency and, in addition, fails to indicate a clear conception, so the Right must be declared the winner.
Round Four
Left (Win)
月きよみかひのしらねをながむればいつかは雪に空は晴れける
| tsuki kiyomi kai no shirane o nagamureba itsuka wa yuki ni sora wa harekeru | When at the moon, so clear, Above the white peak of Kai I gaze, I wonder When the snow Will clear from the skies… |
Shun’e
55
Right
くまもなき月みるほどの心にてやがて此よをすぐしてしかな
| kuma mo naki tsuki miru hodo no kokoro nite yagate kono yo o sugushiteshi kana | When the cloudless Moon I see, My heart Longs within this world To ever stay! |
Lord Michiyoshi
56
While the Left does contain some feelings, these seem not to be apparent in its diction. When moonlight is confused with snow, then I would want the composition to be about a location which has none, but mentioning the ‘white peak of Kai’ makes it unclear because it sounds as the composition is about its snow. Dropping a reference to Mount Obasute and replacing it with the ‘white peak of Kai’ sounds absurd and puts me in mind of the judgement in the Poetry Match at the Palace in the Fields. With all that being said, the Right’s poem appears pointlessly pedestrian, so the Left should win, I think.
Round Three
Left (Tie)
おきあかしくまなき月をながむれば野原の草の露もかくれず
| oki’akashi kumanaki tsuki o nagamureba nohara no kusa no tsuyu mo kakurezu | Lying awake ‘til dawn, and Upon the cloudless moon A’gazing— Upon the grasses o’er the plain Not a single dewdrop is concealed. |
Mikawa
53
Right
月をみて心をこよひつくすかなくまなき空は又もこそあれ
| tsuki o mite kokoro o koyoi tsukusu kana kumanaki sora wa mata mo koso are | Seeing the moon, Tonight, my heart Exhausts! The cloudless skies Once more are such! |
Lord Kinshige
54
The Left’s ‘lying awake ‘til dawn, gazing’ suggests that the poet is at their own residence, but then it finally turns out that they are on the plain – what to make of this? It’s also the case that the moon doesn’t necessarily always appear over the plains. This poem should really have included a clearer reason for the poet’s journey. As for the Right, while it isn’t bad, the final line certainly regrettable, so this round is a tie.
Round Two
Left (Win)
松浦ぶねあかしのしほに漕ぎとめよこよひの月はここにてをみむ
| matsurabune akashi no shio ni kogitomeyo koyoi no tsuki wa koko nite o mimu | O, boat from Matsura, Upon the tides of Akashi, Halt your rowing! For tonight, the moon I would gaze upon from there… |
Lord Tsunemori
51
Right
月影のさえゆくままにおく霜をおもひもあへず鐘やなるらん
| tsukikage no saeyuku mama ni oku shimo o omoi mo aezu kane ya naruran | While the moonlight Is so chill, Is it of the falling frost Quite heedless that The bells are tolling? |
Tōren
52
I wonder if the Right’s conception is that of the bells of Fengling? It appears to be said of them that they ‘rang of their own accord when frost fell’, or something like that. Hence, in the Cathay-style poem with the topic ‘the autumn moon seeming to be frost at night’ there is also the line ‘wouldn’t you have it make the Fengling bells ring out together?’ Here, our moonlight is being thought to be frost, and the bells are tolling in response to it. But, as bells are inanimate objects, it does not seem feasible to think that they would toll upon seeing frost. Thus, saying that they would view the moonlight as frost and heedlessly toll, is odd, I have to say. As for the Left, while there is no clear reason for the initial line, the remainder seems reasonable, and so I feel this should win.
Moon
Round One
Left (Tie)
月きよみながむる人の心さへ雲井にすめる秋の夜はかな
| tsuki kiyomi nagamuru hito no kokoro sae kumoi ni sumeru aki no yowa kana | The moon, so pure, that Gazing folk feel Their very hearts Clearly in the heavens On an autumn midnight! |
Lord Shige’ie
49
Right
のこるべきかきねの雪は先消えてほかはつもるとみゆる月かな
| nokorubeki kakine no yuki wa mazu kiete hoka wa tsumoru to miyuru tsuki kana | It should be lingering On my brushwood fence, but the snow First vanishes, then Piling up elsewhere Appears moonlight! |
Lord Yorimasa
50
The Left seems extremely commonplace, and simply ending ‘autumn midnight’ feels incomplete. As for the Right, what does it mean to say that ‘the snow upon my brushwood fence first vanishes’? Might it mean that because of the fence’s shadow, the moon’s light cannot be seen? It really sounds as if the poet has gone too far in his quest for unusual expressions. Then there’s ‘piling up elsewhere’ along with ‘autumn midnight’—neither of these sound superior, so it’s impossible to say which poem is.
