Left (Win).
錦木に書き添へてこそ言の葉も思ひそめつる色は見ゆらめ
nishikigi ni kakisoete koso koto no ha mo omoisometsuru iro wa miyurame |
Upon the spindle trees He writes His words, yet will those leaves With the first shadings Of passionate hues, she see… |
609
Right.
思ふより憂きに馴れたる袂かな涙や戀の先に立つらん
omou yori uki ni naretaru tamoto kana namida ya koi no saki ni tatsuran |
From these soft feelings To heartbreak accustomed are My sleeves! Do tears always love Precede, I wonder? |
610
The Gentlemen of the Right state: while it is well known that spindle trees are an expression of love, it is certainly not the case that letters are attached to them. In response, the Left: in the writings of Nōin, he says, ‘A spindle tree is one to which the country folk attach letters.’ The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is irredeemably archaic [muge ni furumekashi]. In addition, ‘From these soft feelings to heartbreak accustomed’ (omou yori uki ni naretaru) is poorly linked, and the use of ‘precede’ (saki ni tatsu), in the absence of the mention of a path in the poem, lacks connection.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s use of ‘spindle tree’ (nishikigi) is familiar from many Love poems and so seems quite tediously mundane [rei no koto]. The Right seems to have followed to some extent the conception of a poem by the former Nijō Lord’s serving woman, Chikuzen. I included it in the Senzaishū, and will note it down after this. As a result, the poem using the spindle tree must win. Note:
思ふよりいつしかぬるゝたもとかな涙ぞ戀のしるべなりける
omou yori itsu shika nururu tamoto kana namida zo koi no shirube narikeru |
From these soft feelings How swiftly soaked are My sleeves; Tears, indeed, of love Are such a sign! |
The positioning of certain words does not differ to any great extent.