鹿の音の音羽の山に音せぬは妻に今宵や逢坂の関
| shika no ne no otowa no yama ni otosenu wa tsuma ni koyoi ya ausaka no seki |
The stag cries In the Otowa mountains Without a sound; Is his mate tonight at The barrier of Meeting Hill? |
Jakuren
Tag Archives: shika
Sanke Goban Uta’awase 20
SZS V: 315
Composed in the conception of hearing stags while staying overnight at a port.
湊川夜ふねこぎいづる追風に鹿の声さへ瀬戸わたるなり
| minatogaFa yobune kogi’iduru oFikaze ni sika no kowe saFe seto watarunari |
At Minato River The night boats row out Carried on the wind Do even the stags’ cries Carry across the straits? |
Dōin (1090-1182)
道因
Fubokushō XII: 4694
Love I: 16
Left (Win).
名に立てる音羽の瀧も音にのみ聞くより袖の濡るゝ物かは
| na ni tateru otowa no taki mo oto ni nomi kiku yori sode no nururu mono ka wa |
The name is known: Otowa Falls Sounds forth; and just Hearing that Is enough to soak my sleeves? Surely not! |
631
Right.
鹿の音も嵐にたぐふ鐘の音も聞くよりこそは袖は濡れしか
| shika no ne mo arashi no taguu kane no oto mo kiku yori koso wa sode wa nureshika |
The braying of the stags, and With the storm wind The tolling bells: Hearing alone Does soak my sleeves. |
632
The Gentlemen of the Right state: there is nothing worth mentioning in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: using ne (‘braying’) and oto (‘sound’) in the same poem is a fault [yamai].
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are tasteful in form [utazama wa yū] , but the Right’s does contain a fault, as the Left have stated. Thus, the Left should win.
FGS V: 522
Winter I: 16
Left (Win).
霜枯るゝ野原に秋の忍はれて心のうちに鹿ぞ鳴ぬる
| shimo karuru nohara ni aki no shinobarete kokoro no uchi ni shika zo nakinuru |
Burnt by frost The fields autumn Bring back to me, and Within my heart A stag cries out. |
511
Right.
鹿の音も蟲もさまざま聲絶えて霜枯はてぬ宮城野の原
| shika no oto mo mushi mo samasama koe taete shimogarehatenu miyagino no hara |
The sound of stags and All the insects varied Cries are gone; Completely burned by frost is The plain of Miyagino. |
512
The Right say that the Left’s poem is ‘fine, perhaps’ [yoroshiki ka]. The Left reply that the Right’s ‘lacks any faults.’
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on the topic of ‘withered fields’ and the Right has a fine final section with ‘the plain of Miyagino’ (miyagino no hara), but the initial section with ‘stags’ and ‘insects’ sounds as if the poet is enumerating members of list [kazoetatetaru yō ni ya kikoyu]. The Left, with its ‘The fields autumn bring back to me’ (nohara ni aki no shinobarete), followed by ‘Within my heart a stag cries out’ (kokoro no uchi ni shika zo nakinuru), is most fine. The Left should win.
Autumn III: 27
Left (Tie).
惜しみかね秋暮ぬとは小男鹿の音せで人に告るなりけり
| oshimikane aki kurenu to wa saoshika no oto sede hito ni tuguru narikeri |
Unable to bear The end of autumn The stag Falls silent, and to man The end relates… |
473
Right.
明日よりや荻の葉あへず霜枯て秋をば夢と驚かすべき
| asu yori ya ogi no ha aezu shimogarete aki o ba yume to odorokasubeki |
From tomorrow The fronds of silver-grass, unbearably, Will be frost-burned; That Autumn is but a dream Will be clear to all. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
474
Neither Left nor Right have any criticisms to make this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: Neither team has identified any faults with the other’s poem this round. However, the Left’s ‘The stag falls silent, and to man the end relates’ (oto sede hito ni tsuguru) is unclear, isn’t it? [obotsukanaku ya] The Right’s ‘fronds of silver-grass, unbearably’ (ogi no ha aezu) is also impossible to understand [ekokoroehaberanu]. Thus, the round must tie.
Autumn II: 7
Left (Win).
秋はなを霧の靡に鹿鳴て花も露けき夕なりけり
| aki wa nao kiri no nabiki ni shika nakite hana mo tsuyukeki yū narikeri |
It truly is autumn – Through the fluttering mist Comes the belling of a stag, and The blooms, too, are dew-drenched At even time… |
373
Right.
哀をばいかにせよとて入會の聲うち添ふる鹿の音ならん
| aware o ba ika ni seyo tote iriai no koe uchi souru shika no ne naran |
More sad Than this there’s nothing! The evening bell Tolling, accompanied by The belling of a stag. |
374
The Right wonder, ‘In the expression “the blooms, too”, what does the “too” (mo) connect with? In addition, simply finishing the poem “At even time” (yū narikeri) shows a lack of conception.’ The Left counter that, ‘In the Right’s poem, expressions such as “more sad” (aware o ba) and “the belling of a stag” (shika no ne naran) are feeble. In addition, what of having iriai (“evening [bell]”), without explicitly including “bell” (kane)?’
Shunzei’s judgement: While I do wonder about the expression, ‘at even time’, with the inclusion of ‘too’ in the phrase ‘the blooms, too’, there is the impression of unspoken emotional overtones to the poem. The configuration of the first phrase, too, is particularly tasteful. As for the Right’s poem, it is not the case that iriai must always be accompanied by kane (‘bell’) – one can hear the bell in the phrase. However, overall, the Left’s poem gives a stronger impression, and so wins.
Autumn II: 1
Left.
雨降れど笠取山の鹿の音はなかなかよその袖濡らしけり
| ame furedo kasatoriyama no shika no ne wa nakanaka yoso no sode nurashikeri |
Though rain falls on Kasatori Mountain, with an umbrella in my hand, it is The stag’s call, Distant, that Has left dampness on my sleeves… |
361
Right.
さらぬだに秋のあはれは絶えせぬに心細さを添ふる雨かな
| saranu dani aki no aware wa taesenu ni kokorobososa o souru ame kana |
It should not be so, yet Autumn wrenches at my heart, so I cannot bear it; Loneliness Brought on by the rain… |
362
The Right have two criticisms of the Left’s poem: ‘The initial five syllables have no link with the end of the poem. Furthermore, we question the use of “distant” (yoso). The Left merely say that they find the Right’s poem ‘unremarkable’.
Shunzei broadly agrees: ‘The lack of linkage in the Left’s poem is as stated – although it starts “Though rain falls on” (ame furedo), it seems as if the poet’s sleeves were wet by the stag’s call, and thus the poem does not appear to be composed on the theme of “rain”. Whatever the formal faults of the Right’s poem, it is composed on “Autumn Rain”. It must win.’