淡路潟行き来の舟のともがほにかよひなれたる浦千鳥かな
| awajigata yukiki no fune no tomogao ni kayoi naretaru urachidori kana |
In Awaji Inlet Coming and going are the boats: So, too, Accustomed to going back and forth are The plovers from the beach! |
Teika
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Love IV: 28
Left (Win).
頼めぬを待ちつる宵も過果てゝつらさ閉ぢむる片敷の床
| tanomenu o machitsuru yoi mo sugihatete turasa tojimuru katashiki no toko |
He did not say he’d come, and so To waiting through the night I have put an end, Sealing my unhappiness In a single bed… |
Lord Sada’ie.
835
Right.
我戀や衛士の焚く火となりぬらん夜のみひとり燃えあかす哉
| wa ga koi ya eshi no taku hi to narinuran yoru nomi hitori moeakasu kana |
Has my love, like Conscripts’ kindled flame Become? Through the night alone Afire? |
Lord Tsune’ie.
836
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of both ‘sealing’ (tojimuru) and ‘a single bed’ (katashiki no toko). The Left state: it sounds as if the ‘conscripts’ kindled flame’ (eshi no taku hi) is alone.
In judgement: the Left’s poem, beginning with ‘to waiting through the night I have put an end’ (machitsuru yoi mo sugihatete) and then continuing with ‘sealing my unhappiness’ (tsurasa tojimuru) does not sound bad, but ‘single bed’ should surely have been ‘sleeve’ (sode). The ‘conscripts kindled flame’ would certainly not have been ‘burning alone’ (hitori moyu). The Left should win, it seems.
Love IV: 24
Left (Win).
戀詫びて我と眺めし夕暮も馴るれば人の形見がほなる
| koiwabite ware to nagameshi yūgure mo narureba hito no katamigao naru |
Suffering with love I have gazed Upon the evening dark, So used to it that it Has become your keepsake! |
Lord Sada’ie.
827
Right.
明ぼののあはればかりは忍ぶれど今日をば出でず春の夕暮
| akebono no aware bakari wa shinoburedo kyō oba idezu haru no yūgure |
The dawn’s Sadness, I do just Bear, but, oh, Today, it will never come – The evening in springtime! |
Nobusada.
828
The Right state: when one understands the purport of the Left’s poem, it comes as a revelation. The Left state: in the Right’s poem we are unable to grasp the sense of ‘it will never come’ (idezu). In addition, the conception of Love seems lacking.
In judgement: both poems ‘evenings’ are support by little diction, yet the conception of Love is profound, indeed, such that my own shallow knowledge finds it difficult to grasp. However, the Right’s ‘Today, it will never come’ (kyō oba idezu) certainly does seem difficult to comprehend. I would have to say that the Left’s ‘So used to it that it’ (narureba hito no) is marginally superior.
Shūigusō 1173
Shūigūsō 1668
Love IV: 17
Left (Win).
大方の露は干る間ぞ別れける我が袖一つ殘る雫に
| ōkata no tsuyu wa hiruma zo wakarekeru wa ga sode hitotsu nokoru shizuku ni |
In general, The dew would daytime dry become While we are parted, but On my sleeves alone Remain droplets… |
Lord Sada’ie.
813
Right.
明ぬればひると聞しをいかなれば戀する袖は濡れまさる覧
| akenureba hiru to kikishi o ika nareba koisuru sode wa nuremasaruran |
When daylight comes Dry they should be, I heard, but Why is it, then, that The sleeves of one in love are So exceedingly damp? |
Lord Tsune’ie.
814
The Right state: the conception of the Left’s poem is somewhat unclear. The Left state: the contents of the Right’s poem are pedestrian.
In judgement: is the conception of the Left’s poem, of the droplets remaining on one’s sleeves throughout the day being dewfall really that unclear? On hearing the Right’s akenureba hiru, I wondered what had happened to the morning? In addition, just having hiru and not hiruma is confusing. The poem does not say enough.
Love IV: 11
Left.
雲かゝり重なる山を越えもせず隔てまさるは明くる日の影
| kumo kakari kasanaru yama o koe mo sezu hedate masaru wa akuru hi no kage |
Trailed with cloud, The layered mountains I have not gone beyond, but What stands between us most is The light of the brightening sun. |
Lord Sada’ie.
801
Right (Win).
いさ命思ひは夜半に盡き果てぬ夕も待たじ秋の曙
| isa inochi omoi wa yowa ni tsukihatenu yūbe mo mataji aki no akebono |
I know not what’s to become of my life! All my thoughts of love in the hours of night Are quite exhausted, and I cannot wait for evening On this autumn dawn… |
Nobusada.
802
The Right state: from ‘Trailed with cloud’ (kumo kakari) to ‘The light of the brightening sun’ (akuru hi no kage), all is entirely unacceptable, is it not? The Left state: we wonder about the acceptability of ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’ (isa inochi).
In judgement: the Right have said that the Left’s poem is unacceptable from beginning to end, but can one really go so far as to say that? Furthermore, the Left query whether ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’, but I wonder whether I can recall this phrase being that bad. However, one is accustomed to saying that ‘this spring dawn’ (haru no akebono) is elegant, and although ‘this autumn dawn’ (aki no akebono) is a modern expression, the faults of the Left’s poem are particularly problematic, so the Right should win.
Love IV: 5
Left.
面影も別れに變る鐘の音にならひ悲しき東雲の空
| omokage mo wakare ni kawaru kane no oto ni narai kanashiki shinonome no sora |
That your face Is transformed to parting By the bell’s toll: How sad this custom From the eastern skies! |
Lord Sada’ie.
789
Right (Win).
暁の涙やせめてたぐふらん袖に落ち來る鐘の音かな
| akatsuki no namida ya semete tagūran sode ni ochikuru kane no oto kana |
At dawn, are My tears, forced to be Like them? Falling on my sleeves: The tolls of the bell! |
Nobusada.
790
The Right state: the sense of the Left’s poem is difficult to grasp on hearing. The Left state: the expression ‘forced to be’ (semete) seems out of place in the context of the Right’s poem.
In judgement: The Left’s poem, just as was said of Kisen’s poetry – that it was ‘obscure of diction and indefinite from beginning to end’ – seems to be in just such a style. The Right’s poem, while it does not, in fact, sound like a suitable context for ‘forced to be’ (semete), provides a profound conception in ‘falling on my sleeves’ (sode ni ochikuru). The Right should win.
Love III: 28
Left.
いかなりし世世の報ひのつらさにてこの年月に弱らざるらん
| ika narishi yoyo no mukui no tsurasa nite kono toshitsuki ni yowarazaruran |
How many are My lives blessed with Pain alone, that Through these passing years and months It shows no sign of weakening? |
Lord Sada’ie
775
Right.
年経にしつらきに堪へてながらふと聞かれんさへぞ今は悲しき
| toshi henishi tsuraki ni taete nagarau to kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki |
The years have passed In nothing but pain On and on; All you would hear from me, though, Is that, now, I am sad. |
Lord Takanobu
776
The Right state: ‘It shows no sign of weakening’ [yowarazaruran] seems unsatisfactory in its placement in this poem. The Left state: there are no faults to inidicate.
In judgement: the Left’s second section seems fine, but the initial section’s ‘pain alone’ (tsurasa) sounds overly forceful. However, in the Right’s poem ‘All you would hear from me, though, is that, now, I am sad’ (kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki) in the final section seems both overly explicit and somewhat weak. I cannot award a win this round.
Love III: 22
Left.
あらざらん後の世までを恨みてもその面影をえこそうとまね
| arazaran nochi no yo made o uramitemo sono omokage o e koso utomane |
Soon I will be no more, and Even until the world to come I may hate you, yet Your face is One I cannot but feel for! |
Lord Sada’ie
763
Right.
さても猶頼む心や残しけむ恨みけるさへ恨めしき哉
| satemo nao tanomu kokoro ya nokoshikemu uramikeru sae urameshiki kana |
Even so, is yet A hint of belief Left to me? That I have hated you, Now I hate that more… |
Jakuren
764
The Right state: the Left’s ‘cannot but feel for’ (utomane) is poor. The Left state: we find no faults to indicate in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: the use of diction in both poems, however I consider it, is unworthy of praise. I wonder about the Left’s use of ‘cannot but feel for’ – it would have been better to use ‘cannot forget’, surely? The Right’s ‘is left’ (nokoshimemu) would have been better as ‘remains’ (nokoriken). ‘Even so, is yet’ (satemo nao) fails to link with the end of the poem, too. Neither is worthy of a win.