The Right state: the phrase ‘if you were unhindered’ (sawarazu wa) sounds poor. The Left state: the Right have simply composed a poem just like Lord Yorimasa’s君戀ふとながめあかせる夜の雨は袖にしも降る心地こそすれ kimi kou to / nagame akaseru / yoru no ame wa / sode ni shimo furu / kokochi koso sure ‘That you love me / I have heard enough / This night when the rain / Upon my sleeves especially does fall – / That is what I feel!’.
In judgement: the Left are said to have a poor-sounding phrase, and the Right to have referred to Yorimasa’s poem. That it is difficult to entirely avoid to referring poems outside of the anthologies is something which people still seem to be unable to remember, but the Gentlemen of the Left have recalled this well. The final section of the Right’s poem does bear an uncanny resemblance to Yorimasa’s poem. If there should be a prior example of a phrase’s use, then while it maybe poor-sounding, the Left should win.
The Right state: we find no faults to mention in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the Right’s poem simply re-states a famous creation by another of the Gentlemen of the Right.
In judgement: ‘taking lodging in clouds’ (kumo ni yado karu) does, indeed, sound most like something I have heard recently. Perhaps it is simply that, having heard a good phrase, the gentleman has reused it. Whatever the facts of the matter, it lacks novelty. The Left’s ‘brief span’ (shibashi mo hito ni) should win.
The Right state: we cannot grasp the sense of the Left’s poem. The Left state: we are unable to understand the reason for the Right’s use of ‘heedlessly’ (oroka ni mo).
In judgement: while both poems do appear to have some conception, the Gentlemen of both Left and Right appear to have stated that they are unable to grasp it. Far be it from me to provide an interpretation in the light of this, so I shall follow the Gentlemen’s remarks and make this round a tie.
In judgement: the Left starts with ‘My home I left in floods’ (furusato ni ideshi ni masaru) and concludes with ‘the wild wind round my pillow breaks us apart in dreams’ (arashi no makura yume ni wakarete) – this is a form of words the quality of which I am entirely unable to convey with my own clumsy expressions, but the Right’s ‘O moonlight, sinking toward the mountains round the capital’ (miyako no yama ni kakaru tsukikage) is awash with a sense of tears, so it is most unclear which should win or lose. Both truly seem to reflect the conception of this topic ‘Love and Travel’ well. The poems have been so good every round that my brush is drenched with this old man’s tears, and I can find no other way to express it.
Both teams state there are no faults with their opponent’s poem.
In judgement: the Gentlemen of both Left and Right have stated that there are no faults with the style of either poem. I accept that and will make this round a tie.
In judgement: although the Left’s poem sounds a little over-familiar, it certainly does have conception. The Right’s poem does sound smooth, but the origin poem has ‘Forget me not’ (wasuru na yo) – and this has ‘I will not forget’ (wasurezu yo) – the origin poem has ‘for distant as the clouds’ (hodo wa kumoi ni) – and this has ‘how far beyond the clouds’ (iku kumoi to wa); and ‘as the moon across the skies’ (sora yuku tsuki no) is identical, so the only part which as been changed is ‘I shall return – ‘til then’ (meguri au made). It is only to be expected that it would sound good, given that it presents much of the same material in the same order. The Left should win.
The Right state: the Left’s poem has not faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks the conception of Love.
In judgement: the Left uses ‘bamboo’ (kuretake) and the Right ‘star lily’ (himeyuri): although the Left’s ‘Maid: will she draw’ (ko wa shiorubeki) does not seem possible to accept on grounds of style, but the Right, in addition to also lacking much conception of Love, has ‘heartless wind’ (nasakenaki kaze) which sounds poor. Thus, the Left should win, I think.
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren).
In judgement: ‘Feeling like an ancient’ (okina sabi) ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren) does not sound like it fits formally with ‘but I regret it not!’ (mi wa oshikaranu). The Left, in addition to sounding like it has no faults, has ‘this parting is not; now it is’ (aranu wakare mo ima wa tote), which certainly sounds right. It is superior.
