Left.
女郎花まだきに霜をいたゞきて盛り過ぬる氣色なる哉
| ominaeshi madaki ni shimo o itadakite morisuginuru keshiki naru kana |
Upon the maidenflowers Already has frost Fallen, so Past their prime They look, indeed! |
457
Right (Win).
もみぢ葉はをのが染たるいろぞかしよそげに置ける今朝の霜かな
| momijiba wa ono ga sometaru iro zo kashi yosoge ni okeru kesa no shimo kana |
The autumn leaves – ‘Tis you have stained Them with your hue! Indifferently falling Frost-flakes in the morning… |
458
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem this round. The Left wonder about the appropriateness of ‘indifferently falling’ (yosoge ni okeru).
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left saying that on ‘maidenflowers frost falling’ (ominaeshi shimo o itadaki) would put them past their prime seems pointless [sada ni oyobazaru ka]. In addition the final ‘they look, indeed’ (keshiki naru kana) seems feeble [chikara naki]. The Right’s style is intriguing [fūtei kyō arite]. I must make it the winner.