Round Thirteen
Left
山がつのかた岡かけてしむるののさかひにたてる玉のを柳
| yamagatsu no kataoka kakete shimuru no no sakai ni tateru tama no oyanagi | A mountain man Clinging to the slopes Marking out his meadows, Standing on the border, Jewelled tiny willow threads.[i] |
25
Right (Win)
ふりつみしたかねのみ雪とけにけり清滝河の水のしらなみ
| furutsumishi takane no miyuki tokenikeri kiyotakigawa no mizu no shiranami | Fallen and drifted, The fair snows on the high peaks Have melted; The Kiyotaki River’s cataracts bring White caps to the waters… |
26
The Left poem has a rare style and give me the impression that it is a realistic depiction, but I do wonder about the use of ‘tiny’ in the final line—does one really compose this way? The configuration of the Right poem is extremely charming, and so I say it wins.
[i] See:
Composed on ‘willows by a fence’ for the Poetry Match held at the residence of His Excellency, Supernumerary Middle Counsellor Toshitada.
あたらしやしづの柴垣かきつくるたよりにたてる玉のをやなぎ
| atarashi ya shizu no shibagaki kakitsukuru tayori ni tateru tama no oyanagi | How regrettable! A peasant’s brushwood fence Fenced in With the support of Jewelled tiny willow threads… |
Minamoto no Nakamasa
Tsukimōdeshū 83