難波江の藻に埋るる玉柏あらはれてだに人を恋はや
| naniFae no mo ni udumoruru tamakasiFa araFarete dani Fito wo koFi Fa ya |
By the bay of Naniwa Buried in the weeds A gemmed oak Appears – just so Does my love for her? |
Minamoto no Toshiyori
源俊頼
Tag Archives: koi
Love VII: 3
Left (Win).
戀ゆへに憂き世を捨て隱れなば忍ぶの山やすみかなるべき
| koi yue ni ukiyo o sutete kakurenaba shinobu no yama ya sumika narubeki |
If for love I should depart this cruel world And hide myself away, Would Mount Shinobu Then become my dwelling? |
Lord Kanemune.
965
Right.
夢にだにまだふみも見ぬ忍山深き戀路をいかで尋ん
| yume ni dani mada fumi mo minu shinobuyama fukaki koiji o ikade tazunen |
Even in my dreams Have I yet to tread – or send a note – so why Do I to Mount Shinobu’s Deep paths of love Pay a visit? |
Lord Takanobu.
966
Both Left and Right together state there are no faults to indicate in the opposing poem.
In judgement: I do wonder about the Left’s use of ‘and hide myself away’ (kakurenaba), but in addition to the Right’s ‘Have I yet to tread – or send a note’ (mada minu fumi) certainly evoking ‘the paths of Ikuno lie far away’ (ikuno no michi no tōkereba), ‘why to deep paths of love pay a visit’ (fukaki koiji o ikade tazunen), sounds as if the poet is wondering whether his love is shallow or not. The Left should win.
Love VII: 2
Left.
我戀に深さくらへば外山哉吉野の奧の岩のかけ道
| wa ga koi ni fukasa kuraeba toyama kana yoshino no oku no iwa no kakemichi |
My love’s Depth were you to measure, Distant mountains, perhaps? As in the heart of Yoshino, where The craggy paths are overgrown! |
Lord Ari’ie.
963
Right (Win).
ふみ見ても馴れぬけしきのつれなさや吉野の奧の岩のかけ道
| fumi mitemo narenu keshiki no tsurenasa ya yoshino no oku no iwa no kakemichi |
She read my letter – I treading on paths unknown – And cared not – an unfamiliar scene – Is her cruelty As in the heart of Yoshino, where The craggy paths are overgrown? |
Ietaka.
964
The Right state: in the Left’s poem, the expression ‘distant mountains, perhaps’ (toyama kana) sounds poor. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgement: both Left and Right have precisely identical sections: ‘as in the heart of Yoshino’ (yoshino no oku) and ‘craggy paths are overgrown’ (iwa no kakemichi), but considering the initial sections, it has already been stated that the Left’s sounds poor, while the Right lacks faults. Thus, in accordance with the remarks by the Gentlemen of both teams, the Right is the winner.
MYS IV: 675
[One of] five poems sent by the Elder Maiden of Nakatomi to Yakamochi, Lord Ōtomo.
をみなへし佐紀沢に生ふる花かつみかつても知らぬ恋もするかも
| wominapesi sakisapa ni opuru panakatumi katute mo siranu kopi mo suru kamo |
A maidenflower as, At Saki Marsh grows The crested iris Still unknown is The love I feel. |
Elder Maiden of Nakatomi
中臣郎女
Love VI: 27
Left (Tie).
憂き人に思ひ消たるる身の程を知らぬは戀の煙也けり
| ukibito ni omoiketaruru mi no hodo o shiranu wa koi no kemuri narikeri |
From that cruel one’s Thoughts, extinguished I am, all Unknowing of love’s Embers smoking. |
Lord Kanemune.
953
Right.
昔かく戀する人や富士の嶺の絶えぬ煙と燃えはじめけん
| mukashi kaku koisuru hito ya fuji no ne no taenu keburi to moehajimeken |
Long ago, in such Love did folk as The peak of Fuji With everlasting smoke Begin to burn? |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
954
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘cruel one’ (ukibito) and the Right’s ‘folk in love’ (koisuru hito) should tie.
Love VI: 24
Left (Win).
深き夜の軒の雫をかぞへても猶あまりぬる袖の雨哉
| fukaki yo no noki no shizuku o kazoetemo nao amari nuru sode no ame kana |
Late at night, From my eaves the droplets I number up, but Still much more drenching Is the rainfall on my sleeves. |
A Servant Girl.
947
Right.
雲とづる宿の軒端の夕ながめ戀よりあまる雨の音哉
| kumo tozuru yado no nokiba no yū nagame koi yori amaru ame no oto kana |
Closed in with cloud, From my dwelling’s eaves I gaze out in the evening; Overwhelming my love Is the sound of rain… |
Nobusada.
948
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: we do not understand the Right’s poem at all.
In judgement: the Left’s poem commences with ‘late at night’ (fukaki yo no) and then continues with mention of raindrops – this sounds extremely effective. The Right’s poem, too, starts ‘closed in with cloud’ (kumo tozuru) and concludes with ‘the sound of rain’ (ame no oto kana), which sounds charming, but because the poem is said to be ‘incomprehensible’ or ‘grating on the ear’, despite being one with both a significant conception and an unusual sound, there is no reason for me to shoehorn in my own views, even if much has been overlooked, so this round I will leave it at, the Right is entirely incomprehensible and the Left without fault. Thus, the Left wins.
Love VI: 19
Left.
下とをる涙に袖も朽ちはてゝ着るかひもなき雨衣かな
| shita tōru namida ni sode mo kuchihatete kiru kai mo naki amagoromo kana |
Right through to below With tears are even my sleeves Quite rotted; Putting it on would be pointless This raincoat of mine! |
Kenshō.
937
Right (Win).
戀ゆへに身を知る雨の年を經て心のうちにかき曇るらむ
| koi yue ni mi o shiru ame no toshi o hete kokoro no uchi ni kakikumoruramu |
For love The rain knows how I feel full well Down through the years Within my heart The clouds grow ever thicker… |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress Household Office.
938
The Right state: the Left’s ‘right through to below’ (shita tōruʼ) sounds as if the poet is passing below the palace! The Left state: in this poem it is not at all clear why it is that ‘the rain knows how I feel full well’ (mi o shiru ame).
In judgement: the Left, by using ‘right through to below’, has forgotten that ‘raincoat’ (amagoromo) evokes the sense of a salt-hut and, because there is nothing in the poem to suggest a location by the sea, amagoromo appears to be the clothing of a nun, or something similar. As for the Right’s ‘the rain knows how I feel full well’, it is simply ‘for love’. This seems plain to me. The Right wins.
Tachihaki no jin uta’awase 17
Love VI: 14
Left.
ひとり寢の床に吹くる秋風のまた我戀をおどろかす哉
| hitorine no toko ni fukikuru akikaze no mata wa ga koi o odorokasu kana |
Sleeping alone To my bed comes blowing The autumn wind, and Again, all my love Returns… |
Lord Kanemune.
927
Right (Win).
つてにだにとはぬ君かな吹風もまつにはことに音する物を
| tsute ni dani towanu kimi kana fuku kaze mo matsu ni wa koto ni otosuru mono o |
If only it brought a rumour Of you, who never comes! The gusting wind From the pines plucks special Sounds… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
928
The Right state: what need is there for ‘again’ (mata) in the Left’s poem? The Left state: the Right’s poem is difficult to recite.
In judgement: the Right’s final ‘from the pines plucks special’ (matsu ni wa koto ni) is fine. It must win.
Love VI: 11
Left (Tie).
我戀や晴れゆくままの空の雲よそにのみして消ぬべき哉
| wa ga koi ya hareyuku mama no sora no kumo yoso ni nomi shite kienubeki kana |
Is my love As the clearing Clouds with within the skies? While you remain distant Must I fade away… |
Lord Ari’ie.
921
Right.
をのづから閨もる月も影消えてひとりかなしき浮雲の空
| onozukara neya moru tsuki mo kage kiete hitori kanashiki ukigumo no sora |
From my Bedchamber the flooding moon Light has vanish; To be alone is sad, as The heartless drifting, clouds. |
Lord Takanobu.
922
The Right state: the central line of the Left’s poem is stiff. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.
In judgement: the statements in regard to both poems are at variance with my own opinion. I will refrain from expressing that here, although I do regret that, somewhat. If, indeed, a central line is core, then it is better for it to lack connection with the remainder of the poem. In the case of the Left’s poem, however, it seems well linked with what follows. As for the Right’s poem, ‘bedchamber the flooding moon’ (neya moru tsuki) is not phrasing which is acceptable to me. However, the Left’s initial section seems pleasant, and the Right’s final section is elegant. Thus, the round is a tie.