iwanuma no shitahau ashi no ne o shigemi himanaki koi o kimi shirurame ya
Silently beneath the marsh rocks Creep the reeds’ Roots in such profusion, Not a space free from love, but Does my lady know, I wonder?
A Court Lady 53
Right
身をつみて思ひや知るとこころみにながためつらき人もあらなん
mi o tsumite omoi ya shiru to kokoromi ni na ga tame tsuraki hito mo aranan
Pinching flesh, Would you know passion’s fire? To test it, I wish For you there was a cruel One, too…
Lord Masakane 54
Toshiyori states: the first poem is extremely charming. It seems to have no faults to mention. In the second poem, ‘For you there was a cruel one’ would be something quite impolite if said by a woman. Court ladies may lose their composure, yet they still appear to speak with dignity. In the absence of a prior poem as precedent, the first poem should win, I think.
Mototoshi states: this poem seems to have no faults to mention, and of the two, ‘beneath creep the reeds’ seems a bit more gently refined at present.
kuchi oshi ya kumoigakure ni sumu tatsu mo omou hito ni wa miekeru mono o
How bitter am I! Hidden ‘mongst the clouds Dwell dragons—even they To one thinking fondly of them Do appear, yet…
Lord Toshiyori 51
Right (M – Win)
かつみれど猶ぞ恋しきわぎもこがゆつのつまぐしいかでささまし
katsu miredo nao zo koishiki wagimoko ga yutsu no tsumagushi ikade sasamashi
I have seen her once, yet Even more desirable is My darling girl— As a fine comb How would I wear her in my hair?
Lord Mototoshi 52
Toshiyori states: the first poem is one which appears to be incomprehensible to a particularly limitless extent. In the second poem, the ‘fine comb’ referred to is the one which Susanoo transformed Princess Inada and placed in his divine locks upon their first meeting. This poem has ‘I have seen her once’ and thus appears to have a conception that they have already met. The final section has ‘How would I wear her in my hair?’, which makes it seem that the comb has yet to be placed there. This appears to differ from the original tale. One could ask the poet whether he has mistaken this ancient tale—perhaps he has simply remembered it wrong? It’s not possible to decide upon a winner or loser.
[N.B.: Mototoshi mistakes Toshiyori’s use of tatsu (‘dragon’) for tazu (crane)—the two words were written identically. Toshiyori didn’t bother to correct him at the time of the match, but when Tadamichi asked for judges’ thoughts in writing after the event, he simply wrote, ‘It’s not a crane, but a dragon!’]
Mototoshi states: composing ‘how bitter am I’ and suchlike is something which I have yet to encounter in a poem in a poetry match. Someone said long ago that in both the poems of Yamato and Cathay one should select diction as fruit develop from blossom, and bearing that in mind, well, I have never seen such diction used in many personal collections and poetry matches and, it goes without saying, certainly not in the initial section. On the matter of ‘hidden ‘mongst the clouds dwell cranes’: this is something which has yet to appear in poetry. I wonder whether it appears in texts from Cathay? Possibly composed on the conception of ‘cranes crying beneath the sun’ in the Account of the World? The subsequent line should be ‘clouds spread broadly blue I see cranes so white’. It seems to be saying ‘flying hidden in the clouds’—meaning that cranes should live in the clouds. The cocks of Huainan entered the clouds—again, maybe that is a reference to cranes? Moreover, in Master Fu Qiu’s Classic on the Aspect of Cranes it states that cranes, at the age of one hundred and eighty years, come together as males and females for mating—if that is the case, then how does this relate to human beings? Furthermore, I feel the poem is illogical in the absence of a location where they could live, hidden in the clouds. Overall, this poem has an inappropriate conception and diction, too. The poem of the Right has no errors of diction and its tone is not that bad, so perhaps it would not be mistaken to say it’s a little superior.
taezu taku muro no yashima no keburi ni mo nao tachimasaru koi mo suru kana
Endlessly kindled, At Muro no Yashima The smoke Yet rising more Is my love for you!
Lady Settsu 49
Right (M – Win)
杯のしひてあひみむとおもへども恋しきことのさむるよもなき
sakazuki no shiite aimimu to omoedomo koishiki koto no samuru yo mo naki
Over a cup of wine To press you to meet I thought, yet My love for you Will never cool in this world!
Lord Akikuni
50
Toshiyori states: the first poem’s ‘endlessly kindled’ is an error. Fires are not actually kindled at Muro no Yashima—vapour rising from clear waters in the land appears to be smoke, so I wonder about the use of ‘kindled’ in this context. Nevertheless, if one was referring to real smoke, why wouldn’t you compose in this way? The tone of the poem isn’t bad. The second poem is an interesting display of technique, but it doesn’t appear that one would have to compose like this. Saying ‘cup’ leads to ‘wine’ and emphasises the drinking of it, but then if there were no wine and no drinking, how could one press someone to do something? In addition, I wonder whether it’s appropriate to begin with ‘cup’? This is an excess of technique over substance. The Left is more poetic, so I say it’s the winner.
Mototoshi states: what are we to make of ‘Endlessly kindled, / At Muro no Yashima / The smoke’? And what do the fires kindled at this location resemble? There are two senses of ‘Muro no Yashima’: one is a location in Shimotsuke; the second refers to people’s dwellings—we know from earlier treatises that forges are described as ‘Muro’. Which of these two senses is being used here? Whichever it is, ‘endlessly’ does not appear to have been previously associated with either of them. For example, there’s Koreshige’s poem:
風ふけば室のやしまの夕煙心のうちに立ちにけるかな
kaze fukeba muro no yashima no yūkeburi kokoro no uchi ni tachinikeru kana
When the wind blows Across Muro no Yashima At eventide as smoke, Within my heart, My passion soars…
It does not appear that the smoke rises endlessly here. Exemplars of endlessly rising smoke are the peak of Asama, or Mount Fuji, and these seem to have long been the subject of compositions. It seeming that this poem sought to express the essential meaning of ‘endlessly kindled’, such enquiries need to be made and, if I may be so bold, do not appear, do they? The Right’s poem has ‘Over a cup of wine / To press you to meet / I thought, yet’—while the conception of ‘press’ here sounds extremely unusual, what does it mean that ‘My love for you / Will never cool in this world’? It seems that ‘cool’ as a piece of diction is being used to make drunkenness a metaphor for being in love. If that’s the case, then, well, there are many foundational texts on this. So, even if one gets drunk, what then happens? Is there a world where this never ‘cools’? There was the case of man in Cathay who spent a thousand nights drunk, but that was only three years and not without end. In the sutras there is the drunkenness of ignorance and that might be a world in which one would not find sobriety, but there is no way to make this applicable in this poem. It is a little better than the Left poem’s endless kindling and extremely charming.
shimogare ni utsuroinokoru muragiku wa miru asa goto ni mezurashiki kana
Burned by frost, Faded and lingering A cluster of chrysanthemums When I see them every morn Strikes me afresh!
Lord Toshitaka 47
Right (Both Judges – Win)
置くしものなからましかば菊のはな移ふ色をけふみましやは
oku shimo no nakaramashikaba kiku no hana utsurou iro o kyō mimashi ya wa
Fallen frost Were there none, then Chrysanthemum blooms Faded hues I would not see today…
Lord Tamezane 48
Toshiyori states: the first poem has nothing remarkable about it, apart from the undesirable use of ‘clustered chrysanthemums’. The second poem’s sense could be that when the frost has fallen, the chrysanthemum won’t display faded hues, but it is a mistake to link frost fall and being able to see them. However, if we interpret is as meaning it has fallen, so we can then view them for a long time, well, I can understand that, and will make it the winner.
Mototoshi states: this poem has no faults, but it does not appear to be a poem suited to a poetry match—it’s just rather dull. The poem of the Right, too, lacks anything worth pointing out and just says that the poet wants to gaze upon faded hues today—this seems a bit cliched, but I’d say it’s superior.
koke no musu iwane ni nokoru yaegiku wa yachiyo saku tomo kimi zo mirubeki
Choked with moss are The crags where linger Eightfold chrysanthemums: E’en were they eight thousand ages a’bloom My Lord would have beheld them, no doubt!
Lady Shinano 45
Right
霜がれに我ひとりとや白菊の色をかへても人にみすらん
shimogare ni ware hitori to ya shiragiku no iro o kaetemo hito ni misuran
‘Burned by frost ‘Tis me alone!’ thinks A white chrysanthemum, Changing hue To show to folk, for sure.
Lord Tokimasa 46
Toshiyori states: I wonder if there is a poem as precedent for chrysanthemums lingering beneath moss-covered crags? If not, it’s a very crude expression. The ending of the poem is antiquated, too. As for the second poem ‘“Tis me alone!” thinks’ does not sound satisfactory. The assembled company settled the matter of the final ‘folk’, so I must make this a tie.
Mototoshi states: whether they are placed by a brushwood fence, or at the base of a crag, chrysanthemums feel like pines. As for the Right, having a chrysanthemum seem to think ‘‘tis me alone’ is speculative—had it been something like ‘this bloom opens’ then it would have been the poet’s thoughts. Neither of these is of quality to win or lose, so I make them a tie.
ueshi sono kokoro mo okanu shiragiku wa adanaru shimo ni utsuroinikeri
I planted them, yet Unconcerned are The white chrysanthemums, For with the faithless frost Have they faded.
Lord Munekuni 43
Right (Both Judges – Win)
菊のはな夜のまに色やかはれると霜を払ひて今朝みつるかな
kiku no hana yo no ma ni iro ya kawareru to shimo o haraite kesa mitsuru kana
The chrysanthemum blooms Within the space of but one night their hue Will change, I thought, so Brushing away the frost Will I gaze on them this morn!
Lord Kanemasa
44
Toshiyori states: the first poem uses ‘unconcerned’, doesn’t it. The second poem’s sequencing is undesirable, yet ‘brushing away the frost’ sounds like that really is the case. It seems superior.
Mototoshi states: one has to ask what on earth a chrysanthemum might be concerned about! As for the Right, ‘Within the space of but one night their hue’ is vague, I think, but ‘brushing away the frost and gazing’ is certainly charming—it is still lodged within my aged heart.
aki kurete chigusa no hana wa nokoranedo hitori utsurou shiragiku no hana
Autumn sinks to twilight, and Of a thousand blossoms Not one lingers, save Alone and fading A white chrysanthemum bloom.
Lord Shigemoto 41
Right (T – Win)
かぎりなく君が千代経むしるしにや散残るらん宿のしらぎく
kagirinaku kimi ga chiyo hemu shirushi ni ya chirinokoruran yado no shiragiku
That endless through A thousand ages will my Lord pass A sign there is: Not scattering and lingering White chrysanthemums at his house!
Lord Tadataka 42
Toshiyori states: I don’t have much to point out about the poem on ‘autumn sinking to twilight’, except that it could have had ‘indeed, linger’ in place of ‘not one lingers, yet’ to lead to ‘alone and fading’. As for the second poem, there are no other examples of saying ‘chrysanthemums scatter’, yet I do wonder about how this sounds? Nevertheless, it has a conception of Felicitation and this makes it somehow superior.
Mototoshi states: the poems of Left and Right are of the same standard in both conception and diction, so it’s not possible to tell them apart. These, too, are of the same quality.
fuyugare ni utsuroi nokoru shiragiku wa uwaba ni okeru shimo ka to zo miru
Sere in winter, Faded and lingering A white chrysanthemum as, Fallen upon its upper leaves, Frost does appear, perhaps?
Lord Morikata 39
Right
露じもの暁置きのあさごとに移ひまさるしらぎくの花
tsuyujimo no akatsuki oki no asa goto ni utsuroi masaru shiragiku no hana
Frosty dewdrops With the dawn fall—arising Every morning Fading fairer become The white chrysanthemum blooms.
Lord Michitsune 40
Toshiyori states: I have the feeling that I have never heard the expression ‘sere in winter’, and I certainly have no recollection of it being in the Collection of a Myriad Leaves. The poem of the Right is smooth and extremely charming; I’m very familiar with the expression ‘dew fallen in the morning when I arise’, and here there seems to be some reason for it, doesn’t there! Still, the first poem is better.
Mototoshi states: the expression ‘faded and lingering’ is difficult to distinguish. In addition, saying ‘Fallen upon [the flower’s] upper leaves, / Frost’ is a severe misjudgment. The poem of the Right has the tautology ‘with the dawn fall’ and then ‘every morning’. Clearly neither of these appears to win or lose, so I make this a tie.
shimogare no kiku nakariseba itodoshiku fuyu no magaki ya sabishikaramashi
Were frost-burned Chrysanthemums there to be none, then How much more My brushwood fence in winter Lonely would be…
Lord Sadanobu 37
Right (T – Win)
しも枯るるはじめをみずは白ぎくの移ふ色を惜まざらまし
shimogaruru hajime o mizu wa shiragiku no utsurou iro o osamazaramashi
Frost-burns First sign I see not, so The white chrysanthemum’s Fading hues Cause me no regret at all…
Lord Masamitsu 38
Toshiyori states: the assembled company asked how it can be possible that a brushwood fence in winter would not feel lonely after the chrysanthemums have withered, even granting that they are still there, and this is, of course, the case. In the depths of winter, one would not catch sight of any chrysanthemums. Although, it does sound as if you could could compose in this way, depending upon how early in the season it was. The second poem is of about the same quality, but I feel that I prefer it at the moment.
Mototoshi states: both poems are of the same quality, but ‘My brushwood fence in winter / Lonely would be’ really does make me realise that’s how it is.
kareyuku o nageki ya suran hatsujimo no kiku no yukari ni oku to omoeba
On withering Do they grieve, perhaps? The first frosts upon The chrysanthemums feel they form a bond When falling, so…
Lady Shōshō 35
Right (M – Win)
わが宿の籬にやどる菊なくはなににつけてか人もとはまし
wa ga yado no magaki ni yadoru kiku naku wa nani ni tsukete ka hito mo towamashi
If at my home’s Brushwood fence lodging There were no chrysanthemums, Why, indeed, Would any folk come to call?
Lord Nobutada 36
Toshiyori states: the first poem is redolent of prior compositions and so does not appear to have anything novel about it; nor does the situation it refers to arise. The second poem, too, is hackney and lacking in interest, and the central phrase ‘there were no chrysanthemums’ is prosaic. I say these, too, should tie.
Mototoshi states: as frost is not sentient, it is not the case that it could grieve and feel regret in connection to chrysanthemums. The poem of the Right has as final section resembling that of the poem sent by the Later Prince of the Central Secretariat to the Shijō Major Counsellor:
花もみな散りなん後はわが宿のなににつけてか人をまつべき
hana mo mina chirinan nochi wa wa ga yado no nani ni tsukete ka hito o matsubeki
After the blossoms, every one, Have scattered, then At my house Why, indeed, Should I folk await?[1]
This makes it slightly more poetic, so I would say the Right is superior.
[1] When Major Counsellor Kintō said, ‘You should come to see the profusion of blossoms,’ and he was unable to visit. (GSIS I: 127)
