Tag Archives: dawn

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 24

Leave a comment

Left (Win).
戀詫びて我と眺めし夕暮も馴るれば人の形見がほなる

koiwabite
ware to nagameshi
yūgure mo
narureba hito no
katamigao naru		 Suffering with love
I have gazed
Upon the evening dark,
So used to it that it
Has become your keepsake!

Lord Sada’ie.
827

Right.
明ぼののあはればかりは忍ぶれど今日をば出でず春の夕暮

akebono no
aware bakari wa
shinoburedo
kyō oba idezu
haru no yūgure		 The dawn’s
Sadness, I do just
Bear, but, oh,
Today, it will never come –
The evening in springtime!

Nobusada.
828

The Right state: when one understands the purport of the Left’s poem, it comes as a revelation. The Left state: in the Right’s poem we are unable to grasp the sense of ‘it will never come’ (idezu). In addition, the conception of Love seems lacking.

In judgement: both poems ‘evenings’ are support by little diction, yet the conception of Love is profound, indeed, such that my own shallow knowledge finds it difficult to grasp. However, the Right’s ‘Today, it will never come’ (kyō oba idezu) certainly does seem difficult to comprehend. I would have to say that the Left’s ‘So used to it that it’ (narureba hito no) is marginally superior.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 11

Leave a comment

Left.
雲かゝり重なる山を越えもせず隔てまさるは明くる日の影

kumo kakari
kasanaru yama o
koe mo sezu
hedate masaru wa
akuru hi no kage		 Trailed with cloud,
The layered mountains
I have not gone beyond, but
What stands between us most is
The light of the brightening sun.

Lord Sada’ie.
801

Right (Win).
いさ命思ひは夜半に盡き果てぬ夕も待たじ秋の曙

isa inochi
omoi wa yowa ni
tsukihatenu
yūbe mo mataji
aki no akebono		 I know not what’s to become of my life!
All my thoughts of love in the hours of night
Are quite exhausted, and
I cannot wait for evening
On this autumn dawn…

Nobusada.
802

The Right state: from ‘Trailed with cloud’ (kumo kakari) to ‘The light of the brightening sun’ (akuru hi no kage), all is entirely unacceptable, is it not? The Left state: we wonder about the acceptability of ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’ (isa inochi).

In judgement: the Right have said that the Left’s poem is unacceptable from beginning to end, but can one really go so far as to say that? Furthermore, the Left query whether ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’, but I wonder whether I can recall this phrase being that bad. However, one is accustomed to saying that ‘this spring dawn’ (haru no akebono) is elegant, and although ‘this autumn dawn’ (aki no akebono) is a modern expression, the faults of the Left’s poem are particularly problematic, so the Right should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 6

Leave a comment

Left (Win).
月やそれほのみし人の面影を偲びかへせば有明の空

tsuki ya sore
honomishi hito no
omokage o
shinobikaeseba
ariake no sora		 Was the moon her?
So briefly glimpsed, her
Face
I bring to mind, but simply see
The dawning sky…

A Servant Girl.
791

Right.
夜もすがら苦しき戀に晴れやらぬ心迷いや明暗の空

yomosugara
kurushiki koi ni
hareyaranu
kokoro mayoi ya
akegure no sora		 All night long
From the pains of love
Have I had no relief;
Does the tumult in my heart reflect
The shading of the dawning sky?

Lord Tsune’ie.
792

The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the initial section of the Right’s poem sounds a little clumsy.

In judgement: both the Left’s ‘dawning sky’ (ariake no sora) and the Right’s ‘shading of the dawning sky’ (akegure no sora) sound pleasant, but the Left’s conception of commencing with ‘Was the moon her?’ (tsuki ya sore) and following it with ‘I bring to mind, but simply see the dawning sky’ (shinobikaeseba ariake no sora) appears particularly profoundly appropriate for the topic. Thus, the Left must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 5

Leave a comment

Left.
面影も別れに變る鐘の音にならひ悲しき東雲の空

omokage mo
wakare ni kawaru
kane no oto ni
narai kanashiki
shinonome no sora		 That your face
Is transformed to parting
By the bell’s toll:
How sad this custom
From the eastern skies!

Lord Sada’ie.
789

Right (Win).
暁の涙やせめてたぐふらん袖に落ち來る鐘の音かな

akatsuki no
namida ya semete
tagūran
sode ni ochikuru
kane no oto kana		 At dawn, are
My tears, forced to be
Like them?
Falling on my sleeves:
The tolls of the bell!

Nobusada.
790

The Right state: the sense of the Left’s poem is difficult to grasp on hearing. The Left state: the expression ‘forced to be’ (semete) seems out of place in the context of the Right’s poem.

In judgement: The Left’s poem, just as was said of Kisen’s poetry – that it was ‘obscure of diction and indefinite from beginning to end’  – seems to be in just such a style. The Right’s poem, while it does not, in fact, sound like a suitable context for ‘forced to be’ (semete), provides a profound conception in ‘falling on my sleeves’ (sode ni ochikuru). The Right should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 4

Leave a comment

Left.
つれなさの類までやはつらからぬ月をも愛でじ在明の空

tsurenasa no
tagui made ya wa
tsurakaranu
tsuki o mo medeji
ariake no sora		 Heartless on parting are you,
And just so is the
Indifferent
Moon – no more will I care for it! –
In the sky at dawn.

Lord Ari’ie.
787

Right (Win).
逢ふと見る情もつらし暁の露のみ深き夢の通い路

au to miru
nasake mo tsurashi
akatsuki no
tsuyu nomi fukaki
yume no kayoiji		 We met, I saw, and
How fond were you, but how cruel
The dawn, when
I was drenched with dew alone from
The path of dreams…

Lord Takanobu.
788

The Gentlemen of the Right state: if the Left allude to the poem ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part’, then this poem refers to the cruelty of a lover, but their poem suggests that the moon is the cruel one. Is this appropriate? In response: ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed’ can also be interpreted as referring to the moon. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right use the diction ‘fond’ (nasake), but the sense of this does not follow in the poem.

In judgement: the Left builds on the poem which starts ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part, but’ and then says more than the lover’s heartlessness, ‘The fading moon / Cared not at all.’ So, given that this is the case, it’s not really saying anything different from ‘No more will I care for the moon!’ As for the Right, it sounds as if the lover’s fondness appears in the ‘dream’ (yume), but the final section seems good. The Right’s poem is somewhat superior.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 2

Leave a comment

Left.
もの思ふ我心にもたぐへばやあはれを添ふる明暮の空

mono’omou
wa ga kokoro ni mo
tagueba ya
aware o souru
akegure no sora		 Sunk in lonely thought
Does my heart
Match it?
Traced with sorrow, is
The sky at dawn.

Lord Kanemune.
782

Right.
恨み詫びかへす衣のしるしだになき暁はいかが悲しき

urami wabi
kaesu koromo no
shirushi dani
naki akatsuki wa
ikaga kanashiki		 In despite and sorrow,
I reversed my garb, but
To no effect;
Thus, this dawn
Is so much more sad…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
783

The Right state: the use of the question in the Left’s poem, means that the comparison is not made sufficiently forcefully. The Left state: we find no faults worth mentioning in particular in the Right’s poem.

In judgement: neither poem seems to have any qualities which make them worthy of a win, or a loss.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 28

Leave a comment

Left (Win).

九月の有明の空を見て後ぞ秋のあはれの果ては知りぬる

nagatsuki no
ariake no sora o
mite nochi zo
aware no hate wa
shirinuru		 In the Longest Month
At dawn, the skies
I’ve seen, and
That there is nothing more sad
Have I come to know.

Lord Kanemune.

475

Right.

暮れて行秋もそなたぞ恨めしき傾く月の影を見しより

kureteyuku
aki mo sonata zo
urameshiki
katabuku tsuki no
kage o mishi yori		 Turning to dusk
Is autumn, too; that direction
I despise, with
The sinking moon’s
Light in my sight!

Ietaka.

476

As the previous round.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘At dawn, the skies I’ve seen’ (ariake no sora o mite nochi zo) and the Right’s ‘The sinking moon’s light in my sight!’ (katabuku tsuki no kage o mishi yori), in terms of configuration, have neither strengths nor faults [sugata shōretsu naki], but ‘that direction’ (sonata zo) sounts overly simplistic [kotozokite kikoe]. Thus, the Left must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 23

Leave a comment

Left.

初霜や秋をこめても置きつらん今朝色變る野路の篠原

hatsujimo ya
aki o kometemo
okitsuran
kesa iro kawaru
noji no shinohara		 Have the first frosts
In the midst of autumn
Fallen?
This morning has brought a change of hue
To the arrow-bamboo groves in Noji!

Lord Kanemune.

465

Right (Win).

いかに又秋は夕と眺め來て花に霜置く野邊の明ぼの

ika ni mata
aki wa yūbe to
nagamekite
hana ni shimo oku
nobe no akebono		 How much more striking
Than an autumn evening
Spent gazing, is
The frost fallen on the flowers
In the fields at dawn!

Ietaka.

466

Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem this round and say as much.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘frost’ (shimo) on the ‘arrow-bamboo groves in Noji’ (noji no shinohara) is certainly elegant [yū ni wa haberubeshi]. The Right’s ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ (hana ni oku shimo) is, too; although there is no difference in formal quality [uta no sama wa ikuhodo sabetsu naku] between them, ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ at ‘dawn’ (akebono) is more arresting [midokoro ya haberu] than ‘arrow-bamboo groves’.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 22

Leave a comment

Left (Tie).

明方に夜はなりぬとや菅原や伏見の田居に鴫ぞ立ちける

akekata ni
yo wa narinu to ya
sugawara ya
fushimi no tai ni
shigi zo tachikeru		 Is it that dawn
Has come to break the night,
That from the sedge-lined
Fields of Fushimi
The snipe have started?

Lord Suetsune.

403

Right.

明ぬるか鴫の羽がき閨過ぎて袖に月もる深草の里

akenuru ka
shigi no hanegaki
neya sugite
sode ni tsuki moru
fukakusa no sato		 Has dawn come?
The snipe’s wingbeats
Cross my bedchamber,
Sleeves lit by lonely moonlight
In the overgrown depths of Fukakusa…

Lord Takanobu.

404

The Right state, ‘There is no precedent for the addition of “fields” (tai) to “sedge-lined Fushimi” (sugawara ya fushimi). In addition, using ya at the end of both the second and third lines is grating on the ear.’ The Left merely remark, ‘“Fukakusa” is now, perhaps more commonly associated with quail.”

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘In regard to the Right’s poem, although one would really like there to be a precedent, and there are doubtless rice fields in “sedge-lined Fushimi”, I do still feel that “fields” here is a little outre, is it not? While the Left’s “sleeved lit by lonely moonlight” (sode ni tsuki moru) is superlative, I would prefer “quail” to be associated with “Fukakusa”. If snipe call for a place name, it is not Fukakusa, but Yamada, I would think. Both poems are excellent, but with faults, and for this reason the round ties.’