Before the shrine.
さしかかるゆふひのかげにてらされてひかりをそふるあけのたまがき
| sashikakaru yūhi no kage ni terasarete hikari o souru ake no tamagaki | Shining out The evening sunlight Brings a glow With its trailing light To the vermillion begemmed fences. |
Minamoto no Yorimasa
Tag Archives: yūhi
Love VIII: 12
Left (Tie)
思ひかねうち寢る宵もありなまし吹だにすさめ庭の松風
| omoikane uchineru yoi mo arinamashi fuki dani susame niwa no matsukaze |
Unable to bear the pains of love, and Dozing through the night – That happens sometimes; O, just blow gently, Breeze through the garden pines! |
A Servant Girl
1043
Right
思ひかねながむれば又夕日さす軒端の岡の松もうらめし
| omoikane nagamureba mata yūhi sasu nokiba no oka no matsu mo urameshi |
Unable to bear the pains of love, When I gaze out, once more The evening sun shines Past my eaves, where on the hillside Even the pines seem resentful… |
Ietaka
1044
Same as the previous round.
In judgement: here we have ‘O, just blow gently’ (fuki dani susame), and the Right has ‘Past my eaves, where on the hillside’ (nokiba no oka no): these recollect the poems ‘in the depths of sleep I tread to you’ (uchinuru naka ni yukikayou) and ‘the beams strike the hillside through the pine needles’ (sasu ya okabe no matsu no ha); both sound elegant. I make this round a tie.
Fubokushō XVIII: 7203
Spring II: 24
Left (Win).
くり返し春の糸ゆふ幾代へておなじ緑の空に見ゆらむ
| kurikaeshi haru no itoyū iku yo hete onaji midori no sora ni miyuramu |
Time and time again The threaded heat haze of spring, As uncounted ages pass, In identical azure Skies must appear… |
107
Right.
のどかなる夕日の空をながむれば薄紅に染むるいとゆふ
| nodokanaru yūhi no sora o nagamureba usukurenai ni somuru itoyū |
When on the tranquil Sunset sky I gaze, Pale crimson Stains the haze. |
108
Neither team has anything to say about the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei, however, says, ‘Although the expressions ‘time and time again’ (kurikaeshi) and ‘uncounted ages pass’ (iku yo hete) seem somewhat forced connections with ‘threaded’ (ito), the final section beginning ‘identical azure’ (onaji midori) is superb. The essence of the Right’s poem, of gazing at the sky at sunset with the threads of haze stained, is charming, but I wonder whether it would not have been better not to force the reference to sunset into the poem. ‘Azure skies’ must win.