miya’ishite iku yo henuramu sumiyoshi no matsu fuku kaze mo kamisabinikeri
Since He manifested here How many ages might have passed? At Sumiyoshi The wind gusting through the pines, too, Is touched with divinity…
Tsunemasa 127
Right
よのなかをいとふこころはさきだちていつまでとまるうきみなるらむ
yo no naka o itou kokoro wa sakidachite itsu made tomaru ukimi naruramu
This mundane world My heart does despise and Would depart, but How long will I remain, Suffering as I am?
Nakatsuna 128
Both Left and Right are expressions of grievance, but the Left is merely concerned with ‘Since He manifested here / How many ages might have passed?’, while the Right simply wonders ‘How long will I remain’ while despising the mundane world. I cannot really say that either is superior in the emotions they express, yet due to its reference to the deity, I should say that the Left wins.
ware mo ikade yo ni nagaraete sumiyoshi no matsu no chitose no yukusue mo mimu
Somehow, I, too, Would endure in this world, that Sumiyoshi’s Pine’s thousand years End I would see!
Masahira 125
Right
たとへけむなみはわがみにあらはれぬこぎゆくふねのあとはほかかは
tatoekemu nami wa wagami ni arawarenu kogiyuku fune no ato wa hoka ka wa
Might I compare The waves, which on my sorry self Have made their mark, with A boat rowing out, leaving A wake, or if not that then what? [1]
Chikashige 126
The Left seems to be imagining something very unrealistic. The Right has the poem ‘To what should I compare it? / Just as dawn is breaking’ in mind, and appears to have the charming conception of sorrowing over the face of Grand Duke Jiang appearing in the waves on the Wei River, but ‘if not that then what?’ sounds a bit overblown. With that being said, the Left feels like a plea for good fortune, and the Right evokes impermanence. The matters are only distantly connected, and thus in terms of faults and merits they are equal.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 世の中をなににたとへむあさぼらけこぎゆく舟のあとのしら浪 yo no naka o / nani ni tatoemu / asaborake / kogiyuku fune no / ato no shiranami ‘This mundane world: / To what should I compare it? / Just as dawn is breaking, / A boat rows out / Whitecaps in its wake.’ Novice Mansei (SIS XX: 1327)
honoka nite aru ka naki ka ni suguru mi ya namima ni magau ama no isaribi
Faintly, Uncertain if I’m here or not Do I pass through? Entangled between the waves, A fisherman’s torch.
Lord Suetsune 123
Right
すみよしのなをたのみこししるしありてかへるみやこにおもひいでもがな
sumiyoshi no na o tanomikoshi shirushi arite kaeru miyako ni omoi’ide mogana
In Sumiyoshi’s Name did I place my trust— Had it some effect then On returning to the capital Happy memories, I would have!
Takanobu 124
The Left appears to have pleasant configuration and diction, saying ‘Entangled between the waves, / A fisherman’s torch’. Using ‘faintly’ and then concluding with ‘fisherman’s torch’ is extremely charming, but I do wonder about describing a person’s passage through the world as ‘faint’. The Right sounds elegant in style, but saying, ‘On returning to the capital / Happy memories, I would have!’ could be saying that the memories are of the return to the capital itself, and I don’t feel this matches with the initial part of the poem. In addition, is the conception of wanting the deity’s aid for the return? This sounds rather capricious. The Left has a pleasant configuration, and thus it should win.
kasoureba yatose henikeri aware wa ga shizumishi koto wa kinō to omou ni
When I count them up, Many years have passed, but Sadness Overcomes me for the events Of yesterday, I feel…
Lord Sanesada 119
Right
いたづらにふりぬるみをもすみよしのまつはさりともあはれしるらむ
itazura ni furinuru mi o mo sumiyoshi no matsu wa sari tomo aware shiruramu
How quickly Age has come upon my flesh, too— Sumiyoshi’s Pines must that Sadness know too well…
Lord Toshinari 120
The poem of the Left: these are not matters which could be understood by just anyone, yet even a superficial glance at it reveals that its conception and configuration display and exceptional sadness. How true it is that off all the myriad things in our lives it is the events of yesterday and today that we recall, and this is how we pass through the years and months, so how difficult, indeed, it is to supress the configuration of ‘When I count them up, / Many years have passed’! As for the Right’s poem, well, the conception of the initial section is pedestrian at best, although the latter section does seem to have some conception to it in places and shows some signs of thought. It is the poor composition of the judge, who is into his dotage. Once more, therefore, I have not rendered judgement, however, I feel that the deity would determine in favour of the Left.
akugaruru tama to miekemu natsumushi no omoi wa ima zo omoishirinuru
As my wandering Soul do appear The fireflies— Those feelings, now, How well I know!
Kojijū 107
Right (Win)
いはずともおもひはそらにしりぬらむあまくだりますすみよしのかみ
iwazu tomo omoi wa sora ni shirinuramu amakudarimasu sumiyoshi no kami
Needless to say My feelings within the skies Are well-known by The heaven-descended God of Sumiyoshi!
Lord Sanemori 108
The poem of the Left appears to have a deep conception. However, this poem should be composed about the emotions expressed in Izumi Shikibu’s poem ‘Fireflies by the marsh: / From my breast’.[1] If so, then by having something like ‘As my wandering / Soul the fireflies / Do appear’, it appears as if you know how Izumi Shikibu felt. Here, though, we have ‘As my wandering / Soul do appear / The fireflies’ and this sounds as if you know how the fireflies feel—in which case it seems more in keeping with the poem by the Katsura Princess which says, ‘Their bodies bringing an excess / Of passion’s fires’.[2] Then again, does the diction, ‘As my wandering / Soul do appear’, perhaps, differ from this? The poem of the Right has nothing particularly evocative in its use of diction, but ‘My feelings within the skies’ and following this with ‘The heaven-descended’ at least sounds as if has a purpose to it. The Right wins, I should say.
[1] When she had been forgotten by a man, she went to Kibune, and composed this on seeing fireflies flitting about by the Mitarashi River. 物思へば澤の螢も我身よりあくがれ出づる玉かとぞみる mono’omoeba / sawa no hotaru mo / wa ga mi yori / akugare izuru / tama ka to zo miru ‘I’m at such a loss; / Fireflies by the marsh: / From my breast / Wanders out / My soul, or so it seems.’ Izumi Shikibu (GSIS XX: 1162)
[2] When Princess Katsura had said ‘Catch some fireflies,’ and one of the boys had them wrapped up in the sleeves of his jacket. つつめどもかくれぬ物は夏虫の身よりあまれる思ひなりけり tsutsumedomo / kakurenu mono wa / natsumushi no / mi yori amareru / omoinarikeri ‘Wrapped up, yet / Unconcealable are / The summer insects: / Their bodies bringing an excess / Of passion’s fires.’ Anonymous (GSS IV: 209)
aware to ya kami mo omowamu suminoe no fukaku tanomi o kakuru mi nareba
‘How sad,’ does The God, too, think? For at Suminoe Deep in devotions Am I entangled…
Lord Tsunemori 105
Right
たのみつるこのひとむらの人ごとにちとせをゆづれすみよしのまつ
tanomitsuru kono hitomura no hito goto ni chitose o yuzure sumiyoshi no matsu
Devoted are This group of folk, so To each and every one Grant a thousand years, O, pines of Sumiyoshi!
Lord Yorisuke 106
The poem of the Left, saying ‘deep in devotions’ and suchlike, is pleasant, I have to say. Does the poem of the Right’s ‘this group of folk’ refer to the current poets or to the speaker’s own household? Well, whichever it is, the conception of devotion does not appear to be slight, but again I say this is a tie.
sumiyoshi to kikoyuru sato ni itowazu wa okidokoro naki mi o yadosaba ya
A pleasant place to live is Sumiyoshi’s Estate, or so I’ve heard, but If it provide no comfort, then My restless Self might it attract…
Lord Kinshige 103
Right
すぎていにしあきにおくれてしもがるるきくやわがみのたぐひなるらむ
sugite inishi aki ni okurete shimogaruru kiku ya wa ga mi no tagui naruramu
Past and gone is Autumn, but lingering, Frost-burned Chrysanthemums—is my sorry self Just like them, I wonder?
Enjitsu 104
Neither the poem of the Left, nor of the Right, sound as if they have any particular faults. Nevertheless, in the case of such poems the assessment varies depending upon the speaker. While the poem of the Left is, indeed, pitiful, it also sounds a bit crude. It would be elegant, I think, if it were a woman’s poem. As for the Right’s poem, if we take it as an expression of grief over orphanhood, then in the final analysis it’s charming as it matches the conception of a scion of a noble house picturing himself as the monarch of the flowers. Then again, we do have the poem by the Enkyū Third Prince:
うゑおきしきみもなきよにとしへたる花は我が身のここちこそすれ
ueokishi kimi mo naki yo ni toshi hetaru hana wa wa ga mi no kokochi koso sure
You planted them here, My Lord, though gone from this world, These many years past— The flowers and my sorry self Both feel the same…[1]
This would seem to be in the same vein. Given that the speaker of both poems is unclear, for the moment, these tie.
[1] Composed when viewing the blossom at the Enshūji and recalling former Emperor Gosanjō (KYS IX: 518).
kokoro are ya kaki na kurashi so hatsushigure mada sashihatezu shiba no kari’io
Have some sympathy, And bring no darkness, O, first shower! For I have yet to finish putting up My crude brushwood hut…
Lord Suetsune 77
Right (Win)
すみよしのまつがしたねのたびまくらしぐれもかぜにききまがへつつ
sumiyoshi no matsu ga shita ne no tabimakura shigure mo kaze ni kikimagaetsutsu
At Sumiyoshi Beneath the pines, their roots are My journey-pillow, as The shower, too, with the gusting wind I hear blending together.
Takanobu 78
The Left’s latter section, which states that the poet has ‘yet to finish putting up’ his hut, has a truly charming configuration as a poem on the conception of travel, but the phrase ‘have some sympathy’ does not appear to be a conception which has prior precedent. It could be a way of expressing the emotion through the shower. As for the Right, while I do question the sound of ‘journey-pillow’, it is the case that in Cathay-style poems this appears, but what are we do to about the fact that this is not ‘pillow on my journey’, I wonder? The sequencing of ‘the shower, too, with the wind’ is pleasant, isn’t it. Thus, I make the Right the winner.
The Left appears to have a truly charming conception and configuration, but beginning with ‘The Deity, too, eternally’ and then saying ‘The moon, too, is calm’ and repeating the same word is discordant. The Right, in addition to having no particular faults to mention, has an extremely pleasant-sounding configuration with ‘The pines tonight’. Thus, I make this a win for the Right.
