Tag Archives: Futamura

Eien narabō uta’awase 15

The Moon

Round One

Left (Win)

いたまよりねざめのとこにもる月をこひしきひととおもはましかば

itama yori
nezame no toko ni
moru tsuki o
koishiki hito to
omowamashikaba
Between the boards,
Waking me in my bed
Drips moonlight—
The man I love
If only it did more than bring to mind…

Lord Dainagon
29

Right

くれはどりふたむらやまをきて見ればめもあやにこそ月も見えけれ

kurehadori
futamurayama o
kite mireba
me mo aya ni koso
tsuki mo miekere
When the weave of twilight
Upon Futamura Mountain
One comes to see,
Another pattern fills the eye—
Bright moonlight.

Lord Chūnagon
30

The poem of the Left has an extremely refined configuration, but is lacking much of a conception of the moon, and has a much greater one of love. The poem of the Right has a moving conception, but it is about scarlet leaves that one says ‘another pattern fills the eye’. There have been no compositions to date utilizing this about the moon. As both poems have dubious elements, I feel they are of the same quality.

I must say that the initial section of the poem of the Left, ‘between the boards’, is something that not even the poets of bygone days placed at the beginning of their poems. I would say that such expressions as ‘between the boards of a ruined house’ sound blended, implying that the appearance within is fine. Perhaps the poet mistook this? In addition, I do not feel that this is a moon poem, and would have to say that it’s a love one. It really is very odd, isn’t it—suddenly including a love poem here. The poem of the Right has nothing about it worth mentioning, yet it appears to be a moon poem superficially. There’s nothing for it but, faced with the poem of the Left, which beats the hastiest of hasty retreats and ignores the essential meaning of the topic, but to make it the winner!

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 26

Showers at one’s lodgings on a journey

Round One

Left

しぐれするもみぢのにしきゆかしきにあけてをたたむふたむらのやま

shiguresuru
momiji no nishiki
yukashiki ni
akete o tatamu
futamura no yama
Under the showers
The scarlet leaves’ brocade
I long to see, so
With the dawn let’s set forth
To Mount Futamura!

Jakunen
51

Right (Win)

みやこにもおもひやすらむくさまくらうちしぐれたるよはのねざめを

miyako ni mo
omoiyasuramu
kusamakura
uchishiguretaru
yowa no nezame o
Even in the capital
Might you think of me?
On a grassy pillow
With a shower
Awoken at midnight…

Suke
52

The Left poem’s ‘With the dawn let’s set forth / To Mount Futamura’ sounds charming, but as we can see from Lord Kanesuke’s poem ‘Futami Bay / Let’s see with the dawn’, it is quite pedestrian. Then there is the expression ‘long to see’—this really isn’t appropriate diction for poetry. I will admit that it appears from time to time in imperial anthologies, and so it is certainly permissible depending upon the style of the poem, though. There’s also the term ‘long to know’—one really shouldn’t use diction in a poetry match which doesn’t express the poet’s true feelings. As for the Right’s poem, it’s also quite pedestrian to say that showers fall on one’s way on a journey, but don’t necessarily fall in the capital, but saying that folk there might think of you waking on your journey, well, why wouldn’t they do that? The conception of the poem is pleasant, and I make it the winner.