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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 6

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Left (Win).
月やそれほのみし人の面影を偲びかへせば有明の空

tsuki ya sore
honomishi hito no
omokage o
shinobikaeseba
ariake no sora		 Was the moon her?
So briefly glimpsed, her
Face
I bring to mind, but simply see
The dawning sky…

A Servant Girl.
791

Right.
夜もすがら苦しき戀に晴れやらぬ心迷いや明暗の空

yomosugara
kurushiki koi ni
hareyaranu
kokoro mayoi ya
akegure no sora		 All night long
From the pains of love
Have I had no relief;
Does the tumult in my heart reflect
The shading of the dawning sky?

Lord Tsune’ie.
792

The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the initial section of the Right’s poem sounds a little clumsy.

In judgement: both the Left’s ‘dawning sky’ (ariake no sora) and the Right’s ‘shading of the dawning sky’ (akegure no sora) sound pleasant, but the Left’s conception of commencing with ‘Was the moon her?’ (tsuki ya sore) and following it with ‘I bring to mind, but simply see the dawning sky’ (shinobikaeseba ariake no sora) appears particularly profoundly appropriate for the topic. Thus, the Left must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love I: 29

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Left (Tie).

たどりつる道に今宵は更けにけり杉の梢に在明の月

tadoritsuru
michi ni koyoi wa
fukenikeri
sugi no kozue ni
ariake no tsuki		 Trailing along
The roads, tonight
Has ended, with
The cedar tops touched
By the dawntime moon.

A Servant Girl.

657

Right.

心こそ行方も知らぬ三輪の山杉の木ずゑの夕暮の空

kokoro koso
yukue mo shiranu
miwa no yama
sugi no kozue no
yūgure no sora		 My heart’s
Heading I know not!
On Mount Miwa above
The cedar tops lies
The dusking evening sky.

Nobusada.

658

The Gentlemen of both the Left and Right state that they find no faults in the opposing poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left has ‘cedar tops touched by the dawntime moon’ (sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki) and the Right has ‘cedar tops lies the dusking evening sky’ (sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora) – both poems are charming [okashiku mo haberu]. While the Left lacks a reference to Mount Miwa, this makes it sound all the more charming, I think. ‘Dawntime moon’ is particularly fine in its tranquillity, but the Right’s ‘dusking evening sky’ is by no means inferior, so, again, the round should tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Winter II: 6

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Left (Tie).

雲深き嶺の朝明けのいかならん槇の戸白む雪の光に

kumo fukaki
mine no asake no
ika naran
maki no to shiramu
yuki no hikari ni		 Deep within the clouds,
Morning to the peaks must come,
But how? I wonder,
With whitening round my cedar door,
Brightened by the snow…

A Servant Girl.

551

Right.

眺めやる衣手寒し有明の月より殘る峰の白雪

nagameyaru
koromode samushi
ariake no
tsuki yori nokoru
mine no shirayuki		 Gazing on,
How chill my sleeves;
The dawntime
Moon will linger less than
The snowfall on the peaks…

Jakuren.

552

Both teams say they find the other’s poem moving.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem has ‘deep snow’ (yuki fukaki), ‘whitening round my cedar door’ (maki no to shiramu), and the Right has ‘the dawntime moon will linger less than’ (ariake no tsuki yori nokoru) – the conception and diction of both are splendid [kokoro kotoba tomo ni yoroshiku koso haberumere]. It seems to me that is exactly how winter mornings are. Thus, it is difficult to say which is better. This must be a good tie [yoki ji].

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 29

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Left.

有明の名ばかり秋の月影に弱り果てたる蟲の聲かな

ariake no
na bakari aki no
tsukikage ni
yowarihatetaru
mushi no koe kana		 Dawn it is in
Name alone; in autumn
The moonlight is
At its faintest
As are the insects’ songs…

Lord Sada’ie.

477

Right (Win).

暮れて行秋の名残も山の端に月と共にや有明の空

kureteyuku
aki no nagori mo
yama no ha ni
tsuki to tomo ni ya
ariake no sora		 Turning to dusk,
Is there a memento of autumn, too,
Upon the mountains’ edge
Together with the moon in
The dawning skies?

Jakuren.

478

The Right question the Left’s use of ‘Dawn it is in name alone’ (ariake no na bakari). The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: I do not feel there is anything particularly wrong with ‘name alone; in autumn’ (na bakari aki no), but the Right’s ‘Together with the moon in the dawning skies’ (tsuki to tomo ni ya ariake no sora) seems most fine [yoroshikuhaberubeshi]. Thus, the Right wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 28

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Left (Win).

九月の有明の空を見て後ぞ秋のあはれの果ては知りぬる

nagatsuki no
ariake no sora o
mite nochi zo
aware no hate wa
shirinuru		 In the Longest Month
At dawn, the skies
I’ve seen, and
That there is nothing more sad
Have I come to know.

Lord Kanemune.

475

Right.

暮れて行秋もそなたぞ恨めしき傾く月の影を見しより

kureteyuku
aki mo sonata zo
urameshiki
katabuku tsuki no
kage o mishi yori		 Turning to dusk
Is autumn, too; that direction
I despise, with
The sinking moon’s
Light in my sight!

Ietaka.

476

As the previous round.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘At dawn, the skies I’ve seen’ (ariake no sora o mite nochi zo) and the Right’s ‘The sinking moon’s light in my sight!’ (katabuku tsuki no kage o mishi yori), in terms of configuration, have neither strengths nor faults [sugata shōretsu naki], but ‘that direction’ (sonata zo) sounts overly simplistic [kotozokite kikoe]. Thus, the Left must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 24

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Left (Win).

霜結ぶ秋の末葉の小篠原風には露のこぼれしものを

shimo musubu
aki no sueba no
ozasawara
kaze ni wa tsuyu no
koboreshi mono o		 Bound with frost
Are the leaf-tips of
The dwarf-bamboo grove, from where
The wind flung dewdrops
Once…

A Servant Girl.

467

Right.

月見れば霜に光を添へてけり秋の末葉の有明の空

tsuki mireba
shimo ni hikari o
soetekeri
aki no sueba no
ariake no sora		 Looking at the moon,
Its light the frostfall
Has touched,
Autumn’s last leaf
From the dawning sky…

Lord Takanobu.

468

The Right state that, ‘If it were ‘dewdrops flung by the wind’ (tsuyu wa kaze ni koboreshi), the conception [kokoro] of the Left’s poem would be easier to understand.’ The Left respond that, ‘The meanings of both are identical. However, in the Right’s poem it is not clear what the ‘last leaf’ (sueba) is.’

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Right’s poem, in addition to the expression ‘autumn’s last leaf’ having no clear referent, shows a weakness of conception [kokoro sukunaku kikoyu] with ‘looking at the moon’ (tsuki mireba). The Left, progressing from, ‘bound with frost’ (shimo musubu) to ‘leaf tips’ (sueba) and then ‘dwarf-bamboo grove’ (ozasawara) sounds most fine [yoroshiku kikokyu]. Thus, the Left must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 19

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Left.

薦枕高瀬の淀に立つ鴫の羽音もそそやあはれかくなり

komo makura
takase no yodo ni
tatsu shigi no
haoto mo soso ya
aware kaku nari		 Pillowed on a mat of rush
Where the Yodo meets Takase
The starting snipe
With rustling wingbeats
Draw in my melancholy.

Kenshō.

397

Right (Win).

あはれさは萩吹く風の音のみか有明の月に鴫も鳴なり

awaresa wa
hagi fuku kaze no
oto nomi ka
ariake no tsuki ni
shigi mo nakunari		 Melancholy is not
In the wind upon the bush clover’s
Sigh alone but
With the moon at break of dawn
The snipe a’crying.

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.

398

The Right state that the Left’s poem is based on a misinterpretation of the song ‘The Spreading Moon Rises’, and this has led to the usage of ‘mat of rush’. Furthermore, in the absence of expressions such as ‘bush clover’ or ‘new grown rice’, ‘rustling’ lacks a context. The Left merely state that the initial section of the Right’s poem ‘does not sound attractive’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The gentlemen of the Right have already stated the issue with ‘rush mat’. As for ‘rustling’, I have already suggested that it was unsuitable in the earlier poem on bush clover in the topic of ‘Autumn Evenings’, and it is unfeasible to think that one could go so far as to use it in reference to ‘wing beats’. In regard to the Right’s poem, the initial line, indeed, sounds poor, and the central ‘alone but’ is also regrettable, but even so, it wins the round.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 18

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Left (Win).

山遠き門田の末は霧晴て穂波に沈む有明の月

yama tōki
kadota no sue wa
kiri harete
honami ni shizumu
ariake no tsuki		 By the distant mountains,
At the farthest reach of fields before my gates,
The mists are clearing, and
Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears is
The dawntime moon…

A Servant Girl.

395

Right.

夕月夜ほのめく影も哀なり稲葉の風は袖に通ひて

yūzukuyo
honomeku kage mo
awarenari
inaba no kaze wa
sode ni kayoite		 The autumn evening moon’s
Faint light is
Moving, indeed;
The wind upon the rice-stalks
Passing o’er my sleeves…

Lord Takanobu.

396

The Right simply say that the Left’s poem is ‘good’. The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dawntime moon’ (ariake no tsuki) and the Right’s ‘early evening moon’ are both deeply moving; the Left, continuing with ‘at the farthest reach of fields before my gates, the mists are clearing’ (kadota no sue wa kiri harete) is particularly fine, I feel. ‘Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears’ (honami ni shizumu) is certainly technically proficient, and yet lacks a certain profundity. And yet, the initial ‘By the distant mountains’ (yama tōki) show a true depth. It should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 27

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Left.

夕涼み閨へも入らぬうたゝ寢の夢を殘して明くるしのゝめ

yū suzumi
neya e mo iranu
utatane no
yume o nokoshite
akuru shinonome		 In the cool of evening
I’ve not taken to my bed, but
Dozing
Have dreamed on
In the dark before dawn’s light.

Lord Ari’ie.

233

Right (Win).

澄む月の光は霜とさゆれどもまだ宵ながら在明の空

sumu tsuki no
hikari wa shimo to
sayuredomo
mada yoi nagara
ariake no sora		 The clear moon
Light is frost
Frigid, yet
Still ‘tis night
In the dawn-touched sky.

Ietaka.

234

Neither team has any criticisms to make this round.

Shunzei says, ‘The Left’s phrase “have dreamed on” (yume o nokoshite) is extremely good. The earlier “In the cool of evening” (yū suzumi) is a phrase often used in composition, but I dislike it. The Right’s poems is charming throughout. It should win.’