Tag Archives: shika

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 21

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Round Nine

Left (Tie)

秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubite ya
tsuma koikanete
shika no fusuran		The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
Has he woven—is that why
Unable to love his mate
The stag seems to lie?

Koreyuki
41

Right

妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ

tsuma kouru
aki ni shi nareba
saoshika no
toko no yama tote
uchi mo fusareji		He yearns for his mate
In autumn, above all, so
In the stag’s
Bed among the mountains
He cannot lay him down, it seems.

Arifusa
42

The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:

秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubu yo wa
chikaku mo shika no
koe o kiku kana		The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
I weave tonight—
Close by, truly, a stag’s
Bell I hear! [1]

While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.

[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 20

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Round Eight

Left

やまかぜにしほるる野べの草むらのねやさむしとや鹿の鳴くらん

yamakaze ni
shioruru nobe no
kusamura no
neya samushi to ya
shika no nakuran		The mountain wind
Withers the meadow’s
Clumps of grasses—
Is it his chilly bedchamber
That makes the stag cry out?

Moromitsu
39

Right (Win)

あはれとはねらふさつをも思ふらんをしか妻どふ秋の夕ぐれ

aware to wa
nerau satsuo mo
omouran
oshika tsumadobu
aki no yūgure		‘How sad,’
The aiming hunter, too,
Seems to think, as
The stag searches for his mate
On an autumn evening…

Lay Priest Sanekiyo
40

The Left shows no technique from beginning to end, compounded by the fact that, while ‘although the stag does lie’ is a common expression in poetry, ‘bedchamber’ is something I am unaccustomed to hearing. As for the Right, ‘aiming hunter’ is distasteful to hear, but the poem is not bad overall, so it wins.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 19

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Round Seven

Left (Tie)

草がくれ見えぬをしかも妻こふる声をばえこそ忍ばざりけれ

kusagakure
mienu oshika mo
tsuma kouru
koe oba e koso
shinobazarikere		Hidden by the grasses,
Unseen, the stag, too
Longing for his mate,
His bell, indeed, is unable
To conceal!

Lord Yorimasa
37

Right

秋の野の花のたもとに置く露や妻よぶしかの涙なるらむ

aki no no no
hana no tamoto ni
oku tsuyu ya
tsuma yobu shika no
namida naruramu		In the autumn meadows,
Upon the blossoms’ sleeves
Are the fallen dewdrops
The stag—calling for his mate—
Letting tears fall?

Narinaka
38

The Left is novel, and the Right charming, respectively. The Right’s poem does have a large number of identical syllables—while this is criticized in the Code of the Creation of Poetry as a ‘whole body fault’, it is not the case that poems containing this defect have not appeared in poetry matches from time to time, and I don’t feel it’s necessary to examine whether there are a large number of similar cases here: such things are simply a style of poetry.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 18

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Round Six

Left

草枯のふしどさびしく成りゆけばしかこそ妻もこひしかるらめ

kusakare no
fushido sabishiku
nariyukeba
shika koso tsuma mo
koishikarurame		Among the withered grasses
He lies down, yet into lonely sadness
Does he sink, so
The stag his mate
Seems to long for all the more…

Suketaka
35

Right (Win)

さをしかの声しきるなりみよしののいさかた山に妻やこもれる

saoshika no
koe shikiru nari
miyoshino no
isakatayama ni
tsuma ya komoreru		The stag’s
Bell rends my heart—
In fair Yoshino
On Mount Isakata
Is his mate secluded.

Tōren
36

I don’t believe I have heard a prior instance of the Right’s ‘Isakata Mountain’, have I? In addition, there doesn’t seem to be any reason for its use here. In general, it’s preferable to compose using terms which are familiar. As for the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the stag only cares for his mate when the grasses are withered, but implying that grass only withers in the Ninth and Tenth Months is at variance with the actual period when it happens, isn’t it? Moreover, it is dubious to compose pivoting around the topic—and doing this has been stated to be undesirable in poetry matches. Indeed, I recall that in the Poetry Match at the Palace in the Fields, when someone composed pivoting on ‘maidenflower’, the judge criticized it, saying, ‘it is mangling the words of our land to compose in this manner.’ Thus, although the poem does have a freshness about it, the Right must win, I think.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 17

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Round Five

Left (Win)

きく人の袖もぬれけり秋ののの露分けて鳴くさをしかのこゑ

kiku hito no
sode mo nurekeri
aki no no no
tsuyu wakete naku
saoshika no koe		Folk who hear him
Have dampened sleeves, too—
Across the autumn meadows
As he forges through the dewdrops
The stag’s bell.

Lord Kinshige
33

Right

鹿の音の吹きくるかたにきこゆるはあらしやおのがたちどなるらん

shika no ne no
fukikuru kata ni
kikoyuru wa
arashi ya ono ga
tachidonaruran		The stag’s bell
Comes, blown,
I do hear—
Has the storm, himself,
Arisen there, I wonder?

Lord Kiyosuke
34

I do wonder about the Left, which implies that one would soak one’s sleeves with tears on hearing a stag belling, given that I am unable to bring to mind any prior poems composed in this vein. What are we to make of the fact that, while the poem by Toshiyori, which I mentioned earlier, was composed about tears, there is still no trace of this usage in any other poetry match? It does seem poetic overall, though. The Right’s ‘Has the storm, himself, arisen’ is remarkably startling, so it’s a personal poem. While it’s not the case that there are no prior compositions in this manner, poems for poetry matches have a certain way about them and that’s simply how it is. Thus, the Left wins.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 15

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Round Three

Left (Win)

たれよりも秋のあはれやまさるらん声にたてては鹿ぞ鳴くなる

tare yori mo
aki no aware ya
masaruran
koe ni tatete wa
shika zo nakunaru		Who might it be that
The sadness of autumn
Strikes more keenly?
Lifting up his voice,
It is the stag crying out!

Lord Yorisuke
29

Right

春夏はなにに心をなぐさめて秋のみ鹿の妻をこふらん

haru natsu wa
nani ni kokoro o
nagusamete
aki nomi shika no
tsuma o kouran		Spring and summer, too,
How do they the heart
Console?
‘Tis in autumn, alone, the stag
Seems to yearn for his mate.

Kenshō
30

The Left charmingly sounds as if the scene it describes is entirely natural. The Right isn’t bad, but, I seem to recall that there was a poem in—I think it was the Poetry Match at Lord Aritsuna’s Residence—that has the phrase ‘In autumn, above all, / The stag seems to yearn for his mate’, so it would have better to refrain from the final two lines. The Left should win.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 14

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Round Two

Left (Win)

ふく風も身にしむ秋の夕ぐれに哀をそふる鹿のこゑかな

fuku kaze mo
mi ni shimu aki no
yūgure ni
aware o souru
shika no koe kana		The gusting wind
Pierces my flesh on an autumn
Evening, as
Sadness laces
The stag’s cry!

Lord Michyoshi
27

Right

妻こふるさ夜ふけがたの鹿のねに声うちそへて秋風ぞ吹く

tsuma kouru
sayo fukegata no
shika no ne ni
koe uchisoete
akikaze zo fuku		Yearning for his mate as
Brief night wears on,
A stag’s cry
Is voiced, lacing
The gusting autumn wind.

Tamechika
28

Both Left and Right have the same overall content, but the Left’s ‘yearning for his mate as / Brief night wears on’ reverses the appropriate order of the diction: it would be preferable to say ‘Brief night wears on as / Yearning for his mate’. The Left has no such issues and so it should win.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 13

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Round One

Deer

Left (Tie)

さをしかも秋をかなしとおもへばやときしも声をたてて鳴くらん

saoshika mo
aki o kanashi to
omoeba ya
toki shimo koe o
tatete nakuran		Does the stag, too,
Autumn’s sadness
Feel?
That at this time, of all, his cry
Should ring out so…

Lord Shige’ie
25

Right

嶺になく鹿の音ちかくきこゆなり紅葉吹きおろす夜はのあらしに

mine ni naku
shika no ne chikaku
kikoyu nari
momiji fuki’orosu
yowa no arashi ni		Crying upon the peak
The stag’s bell close by
Sounds, carried
With blown down scarlet leaves
On the midnight storm…

Lord Tsunemori
26

The Left truly sounds as if it grasps the conception with its use of ‘of all, his cry’. The Right, too, is poetic with ‘blown down scarlet leaves’. There may be some who say that one should not compose using a subsidiary topic, yet in the poetry match held in Tentoku[i] and the poetry match held by Emperor Kazan[ii], this was judged not to be a fault.

[i] This was the Dairi uta’awase Tentoku yo-nen 内裏歌合　天徳四年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Tentoku 4’) held by Emperor Murakami on the 30th day of the Third Month, Tentoku 4 [28.4.960].

[ii] This was the Dairi uta’awase Kanna gan-nen 内裏歌合　寛和元年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Kanna 1’) held by Emperor Kazan the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1 [28.8.985].