On ‘And how I long to see the woodcutter’s…’[i]
山がつのかきほにさけるなでしこのはなの心をしる人のなさ
| yamagatsu no kakio ni sakeru nadeshiko no hana no kokoro o shiru hito no nasa | By the woodcutter’s Lattice fence has bloomed A pink— A flower’s heart: There’s no one can understand! |
557
[i] Topic unknown. あなこひし今も見てしか山がつのかきほにさける山となでしこ ana koishi / ima mo miteshika / yamagatsu no / kakio ni sakeru / yamato nadeshiko ‘O, how sweet! / And how I long to see / The woodcutter’s / Lattice fence, where blooms / My darling Yamato pink!’ Anonymous (KKS XIV: 695)
The scent of orange blossom incense on the breeze[i]
Left
ふくかぜに花たちばなぞにほふなるむかしのそでにあやまたれつつ
| fuku kaze ni hanatachibana zo niou naru mukashi no sode ni ayamataretsutsu | With the gusting breeze Orange blossom’s Fragrance comes— For those sleeves of bygone days Do I ever mistake it… |
13
Right
つねよりもことにもあるかなけふをまつはなたちばなのかぜのにほひは
| tsune yori mo koto ni mo aru kana kyō o matsu hanatachibana no kaze no nioi wa | More than ever So special it is! For today have I awaited, Orange blossom’s Scented breeze… |
14
In general, orange blossom is scented during early summer showers or has its fragrance carried on the evening breeze, so I wonder about the folk of bygone days: there’s nothing to compare it with, making the Left’s poem as hackneyed as one on Isonokami, yet there’s nothing special about it, like a weed growing under the eaves. The Right’s poem has ‘for today have I awaited’, which I think requires a reference to sweet-flags. My overall impression of both poems is that their conceptions are unclear.
[Judge’s poem missing]
[i] Rōkitsu bōfū 盧橘芳風
Dark shade beneath the mountain trees[i]
Left
よとともにはれずもあるかなこがくれて山びといかであくとしるらん
| yo to tomo ni harezu mo aru kana kogakurete yamabito ikade aku to shiruran | Even with the end of night, It never clears at all! Hidden ‘neath the trees How can a mountain man Ever find the light? |
11
Right
よもの山こぐらくなりてなつのよの月ばかりこそもりてみゆらめ
| yomo no yama koguraku narite natsu no yo no tsuki bakari koso morite miyurame | All around, the mountains Are dark beneath the trees; On a summer night ‘Tis truly only the moon That one might see dripping between them! |
12
This topic refers to a hunted stag concealed among the trees in the summer mountains. There is not a particular strong feeling of either evergreen or other types of mountain forests,[ii] but the Left’s poem has ‘Even with the end of night’, forgetting that this implies a season of biting wind and showers striking the leaves on the trees—thus the darkness here is excessively conceived. While the Right takes ‘dark shade’ as an opportunity to compose with the elevated conception of the moon dripping between the trees—and surpasses the peaks in doing this—I wonder if the conceptions of both poems don’t contain brightness? Thus, both Left and Right are examples of the ‘Reizei Palace’,[iii] so I would decide on a tie for these.
| satsuki yama koguraki kage no shigeshisa wa masarite miyuru hito mo naki kana | The Fifth Month mountains Dark shade beneath the trees is So deep that Skillfully seeing— There no one who can do that! |
Judge 6
[i] Yamagi no kagegurashi山樹蔭暗
[ii] The expression Noritada uses here Tokiwayama makeyama is obscure, so this interpretation is speculative.
[iii] Another unclear expression, but from the context apparently an idiom that means ‘poems not matching the topic’.
Hidden in the grass on the path o’er the plains[i]
Left
なつくればのべのくさばもしげりあひていづれかみちとみえぞわかれぬ
| natsu kureba nobe no kusaba mo shigeriaite izure ka michi to mie zo wakarenu | When the summer comes, The blades of grass upon the plains Grow lushly together, so Which is the path to take I cannot tell by looking! |
9
Right
をちこちのみちみえぬまでなつののはくさばしげくもなりにけるかな
| ochikochi no michi mienu made natsuno no wa kusaba shigeku mo narinikeru kana | Until both distant and nearby Paths I cannot see Across the summer plains Have the blades of grass so lushly Grown, indeed! |
10
Do they not know the features of the summer plains conveyed by ‘Hidden in the grass on the path o’er the plains’? While both Left and Right use ‘blades of grass’, this puts one in mind of fresh grass sprouting in spring showers; and then of the two of them, the Right uses ‘distant and nearby’, which is nothing more than an archaic expression from the Age of Gods used for leg-wearying mountain paths, while at least the Left does not have a tangled argument.
| ato miezu natsuno no kusaba shigeku tomo yamaji o kakete madoubeshi ya wa | No folk’s tracks visible Upon the summer plains—the blades of grass Lush, yet I wonder if upon mountain paths One would lose ones way? |
Judge 5
[i] Yasō no michi shigeshi 野草路滋
