The Right remark that as the Left’s poem contains “carried on the wind” (oikaze ni), it would have been desirable for it to also contain “boat”. The Left content themselves with saying that the reference to “frogs crying” seems “bombastic”.
Shunzei judges, ‘It is as the Right have stated with regard to “carried on the wind.” “Comes with the waves” (nami mo yorikuru) and its associated section, too, sounds impressive, but is really not so. There is logic in the criticism of the Right’s poem for “frogs crying”, but this is how the Horie frogs sound. Thus, the Right should win.’
matsu ga ne o
isobe no nami no
utsutae ni
arawarenubeki
sode no ue kana
The pine trees’ roots
By stony shore bound waves
Are struck, and
Must stand revealed
Upon my sleeves.
103
Right
初雁のとわたる風のたよりにもあらぬ思ひを誰につたへん
hatsukari no
towataru kaze no
tayori ni mo
aranu omoi o
tare ni tsutaen
The first, returning goose,
Borne before the gate of heaven, of the unseen wind
Is no harbinger;
Just so the fires of my love:
To whom should I reveal them?
kiewabinu
utsurou hito no
aki no iro ni
mi o kogarashi no
mori no shiratsuyu
I am too grieved to die!
My fickle love showed me
She’d had enough with Autumn’s colours;
Now, I yearn for her as the bitter wind
Drenches the forest with silven dewfall.