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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Winter II: 8

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Left (Tie).

松風の音はいつとも分かねども梢の雪や冬はさびしき

matsukaze no
oto wa itsu tomo
wakanedomo
kozue no yuki ya
fuyu wa sabishiki		 The wind-blown pines
Murmur is ever
Unchanging, yet
Is it the snow upon the treetops that
Makes winter so sad?

Lord Kanemune.

555

Right.

なべて世の梢に風は弱れども松吹く聲は烈しかりけり

nabete yo no
kozue ni kaze wa
yowaredomo
matsu fuku koe wa
hageshikarikeri		 Through most
Treetops the wind
Has weakened, yet
Gusting through the pines, its cry
Is wild, indeed!

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.

556

Both teams consider that the other’s poem is ‘not particularly good’ [kanshinsezaru].

Shunzei’s judgement: There is little between both poems, on ‘wind in the pines’. Thus, the round ties.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Winter II: 5

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Left.

さびしさの始とぞ見る朝まだきはだれ霜降る小野の篠原

sabishisa no
hajime to zo miru
asa madaki
hadarejimo furu
ono no shinohara		 The loneliness
Has begun, I feel,
Early in the morning, with
The dusting frost
On the arrow bamboo groves…

Lord Suetsune.

549

Right (Win).

朝戸明けて都の辰巳眺むれば雪の梢や深草の里

asado akete
miyako no tatsumi
nagamureba
yuki no kozue ya
fukakusa no sato		 Opening my door one morning, and
South-east of the capital
Turning my gaze,
The snow-laden treetops recall
The depths of the estate at Fukakusa.

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

550

Both teams say the other’s poem ‘isn’t bad’ [ashikaranu].

Shunzei’s judgement: Although I feel that this topic of ‘Winter Mornings’ should express the conception of the latter half of winter [fuyu no nakaba sugitaru kokoro], the Left’s poem sounds like one from the beginning of winter, and I wonder about that. ‘South-east of the capital’ (miyako no tatsumi) is taken from the poem by Kisen on Mt Uji, which states ‘South east of the Capital, and so I dwell’ (miyako no tatsumi sika zo sumu). This conception [kokoro] of being there and ‘gazing south-east of the capital’ (miyako no tatsumi nagamureba) to the Fukakusa Estate, is charming [okashiku haberu]. Snow on the treetops in the morning, too, sounds pleasant [yoroshiku kikoyu]. Thus, the Right should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Winter I: 4

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Left.

山里は梢さびしく散果てゝ嵐の音も庭の枯葉に

yamazato wa
kozue sabishiku
chirihatete
arashi no oto mo
niwa no kareba ni		 In a mountain home
The treetops, desolately,
Are completely bare;
The storm-wind’s sound
Is in my garden’s withered leaves…

Lord Ari’ie.

487

Right (Win).

木葉散る外山の暮を分行ば袖に嵐の聲ぞ砕くる

ko no ha chiru
toyama no kure o
wakeyukeba
sode ni arashi no
koe zo kudakuru		 All the leaves are fallen, as
Through the distant mountain’s dusk
I make my way;
Upon my sleeves, the storm-wind’s
Cry is shattered.

Ietaka.

488

The Right state that the Left’s poem ‘seems superficially appealing, but actually has nothing remarkable about it.’ The Left question how the poet can ‘make his way through the dusk’ (kure o wakeyuku) and ‘shatter’ (kudakuru) the wind.

Shunzei’s judgment: The lower section of the Left’s poem is charming [okashiku koso haberu], but the initial section is frequently used, and old fashioned [tsune no furugoto nite]. The Right’s shattering of the wind in ‘the distant mountains’ dusk’ is a questionable expression [obotsukanaki yō], but the Left’s initial section really does sound as if it lacks any artistry [muisugite kikoyu]. The Right’s total effect is most fine [sugata yoroshiku miehaberi]. It should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Winter I: 3

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Left.

かつ惜しむ眺めも移る庭の色よ何を梢の冬に殘さん

katsuoshimu
nagame mo utsuru
niwa no iro yo
nani o kozue no
fuyu ni nokosan		 A slight regret I feel, as
My gaze shifts
With the garden’s hues;
What of the treetops
Will remain in winter?

Lord Sada’ie.

485

Right.

散り積もる紅葉かき分來て見れば色さへ深き山路なりけり

chiritsumoru
momiji kakiwake
kitemireba
iro sae fukaki
yamaji narikeri		 Fallen in drifts,
Forging through the scarlet leaves
I come, and see
The depth of colour laid
Upon the mountain paths.

Lord Takanobu.

486

The Right state that the Left’s poem is lacking in conception [kokoro yukazu]. The Left respond that the Right’s poem, as in the previous round, is old-fashioned in both conception and diction [kokoro kotoba onaji yō ni furumekashi].

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem does seem to have some conception about it, despite the Right’s criticism of this as lacking. Although the Right’s ‘depths of colour’ (iro sae fukaki) appears easy to grasp, again, the round should tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 11

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Left (Win).

柞原雫も色や變るらむ杜の下草秋更けにけり

hahasowara
shizuku mo iro mo
kawaruramu
mori no shitagusa
aki fukenikeri		 In the oak grove
Have the raindrops, too, their hues
A’changed?
For to the grass beneath the sacred boughs
Has autumn come!

A Servant Girl.

441

Right.

あたりまで梢さびしき柞原深くは何を思こむらん

atari made
kozue sabishiki
hahasowara
fukaku wa nani o
omoikomuran		 From all around
The treetops in the lonely
Oak grove
Deep within what
Thoughts would fill one’s mind?

Jakuren.

442

The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left query the usage of ‘from all around’ (atari made).

Shunzei’s judgement: The Right’s poem would certainly appear to have an in-depth grasp of the conception of the topic [makoto ni kokoro komorige ni miete], however, my shallow understanding is unable to follow it; besides which the Left’s ‘to the grass beneath the sacred boughs has autumn come!’ (mori no shitagusa aki fukenikeri) is most fine [yoroshiku habereba], so I have no need for further consideration and make the Left the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 9

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Left.

秋ぞかし岩田の小野のいはずとも柞が原に紅葉やはせん

aki zo kashi
wata no ono no
iwazutomo
hahaso ga hara ni
momiji ya wa sen		 It’s Autumn!
At Iwata-no-Ono,
Needless to say,
The oak groves, all,
Are turning to scarlet leaves.

Lord Ari’ie.

437

Right.

薄く濃くことは變れど柞原梢にこぞる秋の色かな

usuku koku
koto wa kawaredo
hahasowara
kozue ni kozoru
aki no iro kana		 First dark, then light
They change, yet,
Upon the oak groves’
Treetops gather
All the hues of autumn…

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.

438

The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left state that they find ‘gather’ (kozoru) ‘grating on the ear’ [kikiyokarazu] and ‘clumsy’ [tezutsu].

Shunzei’s judgement: Starting a poem with ‘It’s Autumn!’ is a usage of diction which I must hope will be considered charming [kotobazukai okashikaran to shokiseru narubeshi]! The Right’s ‘treetops gather’ (kozue ni kozoru) is somewhat unexpected wording [sukoshi wa omoikakenu kotoba ni wa haberedo], yet one cannot call it ‘clumsy’. So, with nothing superlative or at fault with either poem, the round ties.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 30

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Left (Win).

鳴蝉の羽に置く露に秋かけて木陰涼しき夕暮の聲

naru semi no
ha ni oku tsuyu ni
aki kakete
kokage suzushiki
yūkure no koe		 Upon the singing cicadas’
Wings fall dewdrops,
Heralding autumn;
Cool, and shaded by the trees
Are their evening songs…

A Servant Girl.

299

Right.

夏深き杜の梢にかねてより秋をかなしむ蝉の聲かな

natsu fukaki
mori no kozue ni
kanete yori
aki o kanashimu
semi no koe kana		 In the depths of summer
From the forest treetops,
Long before
Autumn, in sadness
Do the cicadas sing.

Jakuren.

300

Neither Left nor Right can find fault with the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei states, ‘It is rather difficult to know a cicada’s mind – as to whether or not it is mourning the coming of autumn long before it arrives. The Left’s “Wings fall dewdrops, heralding autumn” (ha ni oku tsuyu ni aki kakete), is particularly delicate in expression and charming. It must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 29

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Left (Win).

夏山のこずゑも高く鳴蝉は中なか聲ぞかすかなりける

natsu yama no
kozue mo takaku
naru semi wa
nakanaka koe zo
kasukanarikeru		 In the summer mountains
Treetop high
The cicadas sing, yet
If anything, their songs
More distant have become.

Lord Kanemune.

297

Right.

秋近き木木の梢に風越えて下葉にうつる蝉の聲ごゑ

aki chikaki
kigi no kozue ni
kaze koete
shitaba ni utsuru
semi no koegoe		 Autumn draws near, and
The trees’ tops are
Brushed by breezes;
Shifted to the lower leaves are
The cicadas’ songs.

Ietaka.

298

The Right state the Left’s poem has nothing problematic about it. The Left wonder whether there is any evidence that cicadas move in response to wind.

Shunzei remarks, ‘The Right’s poem is, indeed, lacking in evidence. However, could it not be that cicadas would feel a sense of danger from the wind and move to a tree’s lower leaves? The Left’s poem is elegant, though, and must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 6

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Left.

花は散りぬいかにいひてか人待たん月だにもらぬ庭の梢に

hana wa chirinu
ika ni iite ka
hito matan
tsuki dani moranu
niwa no kozue ni		 The blossoms all are fallen, and
What am I to say?
Does it await folk visiting?
The moonlight, leaving untouched
The treetops in my garden…

A Servant Girl.

191

Right (Win).

春深き野邉の景色と見しほどに緑は宿のこずゑ也けり

haru fukaki
nobe no keshiki to
mishi hodo ni
midori wa yado no
kozue narikeri		 Spring lay deep
Across the fields
I saw, and then
The green was on my lodgings’
Treetops!

Jakuren.

192

Neither team has any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei states, ‘Both of these poems are superlative in configuration and diction [sugata kotoba tomo ni yū], but the Left’s “await folk visiting” (hito matan) seems slightly unsatisfying. The Right’s “green on my lodgings” (midori wa yado no) gives it a slight edge in configuration [sutata sukoshi wa masarubeku], and so it should win.”

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 4

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Left.

影ひたす水さへ色ぞみどりなるよもの木ずゑのおなじ若葉に

kage hitasu
mizu sae iro zo
midorinaru
yomo no kozue no
onaji wakaba ni		 Steeped in shade
Even the water’s hue
Has turned to green:
All around, the treetops
Loft the same new leaves…

Lord Sada’ie.

187

Right (Win).

をしなべて緑に見ゆる音羽山いづれか花のこずゑなりけむ

oshinabete
midori ni miyuru
otowayama
izure ka hana no
kozue narikemu		 All has
Turned to green on
Otowa mountain;
Which were the blossomed
Treetops, I wonder?

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

188

The Right state, ‘The use of “steeped” (hitasu) is not at all laudable,’ to which the Left reply that it is ‘in the spirit of “shade-steeped southern mountain”’, referring to a line in a famous xinyuefu (新楽府; ‘new ballad’ – a Chinese poetic form), ‘Kunming Spring’ (昆明春). They then continue, ‘Why the particular reference to Otowa Mountain? In addition, doesn’t the poem seem redolent of a reversal of Lord [Minamoto no] Yorimasa’s “the cherries do appear in bloom” (sakura wa hana ni arawarenikeri)?’ The Right, rather tersely reply, ‘Such things are only to be expected.’

Shunzei acknowledges the Chinese model for the Left’s poem: ‘ “Shade-steeped southern mountain” appears in the Baishiwenji, yet in this poem it appears to give an inappropriate emphasis [on the water rather than the trees]. In the Right’s poem, Otowa Mountain could certainly be any mountain. As for the reference to Lord Yorimasa’s poem – this type of technique is becoming increasingly common nowadays. The Right should win.’