Tag Archives: face

Love IV: 6

Left (Win).
月やそれほのみし人の面影を偲びかへせば有明の空

tsuki ya sore
honomishi hito no
omokage o
shinobikaeseba
ariake no sora
Was the moon her?
So briefly glimpsed, her
Face
I bring to mind, but simply see
The dawning sky…

A Servant Girl.
791

Right.
夜もすがら苦しき戀に晴れやらぬ心迷いや明暗の空

yomosugara
kurushiki koi ni
hareyaranu
kokoro mayoi ya
akegure no sora
All night long
From the pains of love
Have I had no relief;
Does the tumult in my heart reflect
The shading of the dawning sky?

Lord Tsune’ie.
792

The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the initial section of the Right’s poem sounds a little clumsy.

In judgement: both the Left’s ‘dawning sky’ (ariake no sora) and the Right’s ‘shading of the dawning sky’ (akegure no sora) sound pleasant, but the Left’s conception of commencing with ‘Was the moon her?’ (tsuki ya sore) and following it with ‘I bring to mind, but simply see the dawning sky’ (shinobikaeseba ariake no sora) appears particularly profoundly appropriate for the topic. Thus, the Left must win.

Love IV: 5

Left.
面影も別れに變る鐘の音にならひ悲しき東雲の空

omokage mo
wakare ni kawaru
kane no oto ni
narai kanashiki
shinonome no sora
That your face
Is transformed to parting
By the bell’s toll:
How sad this custom
From the eastern skies!

Lord Sada’ie.
789

Right (Win).
暁の涙やせめてたぐふらん袖に落ち來る鐘の音かな

akatsuki no
namida ya semete
tagūran
sode ni ochikuru
kane no oto kana
At dawn, are
My tears, forced to be
Like them?
Falling on my sleeves:
The tolls of the bell!

Nobusada.
790

The Right state: the sense of the Left’s poem is difficult to grasp on hearing. The Left state: the expression ‘forced to be’ (semete) seems out of place in the context of the Right’s poem.

In judgement: The Left’s poem, just as was said of Kisen’s poetry – that it was ‘obscure of diction and indefinite from beginning to end’  – seems to be in just such a style. The Right’s poem, while it does not, in fact, sound like a suitable context for ‘forced to be’ (semete), provides a profound conception in ‘falling on my sleeves’ (sode ni ochikuru). The Right should win.