Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘piled bedding’ (atsubusuma) is similar in style to the poems of the previous round. The Right’s ‘single blanket’ (hitori fusuma) is a comparable piece of bedding, but the configuration of ‘pointless dawn breaks night’ (itazura ni akuru yo o nomi) is elegantly beautiful [sugata yūbi ni kikoyu]. Thus I make the Right the winner.
The old Japanese usually took off their outer kimono at night, spread them out and slept beneath them. Lovers, of course, would sleep beneath a pile of both their clothes. Suetsune’s poem complains that he has no one to share his bed. ‘Vermillion’ was a colour restricted to courtiers holding the Fourth or Fifth ranks.
Both Left and Right say that the other’s poem is undesirable.
Shunzei’s judgement: The conception and diction [sugata kotoba] of the Left’s ‘come, warm my flesh’ (mi o atatameyo) and the Right’s ‘the cold now’ (samusa mo ima wa) have the Gentlemen of each team stated to be undesirable, but this is not sufficient criticism. Neither poem expresses enough. They are of the same quality.
Neither Left nor Right have anything in particular to say.
Shunzei’s judgement: I wonder about accepting the Left’s ‘Beneath my duck-down bedding I lie alone’ (oshi no fusuma o katashikite). The strengths and weaknesses are plain, and so there is not much more to say than that. The Left wins.
This is a reference to a Chinese poem by Sugawara no Michizane in the Wakan rōei shū – Shunzei is referring to the Chinese characters used to write the words arare (‘hail’) 霰 and tama (‘gemstone’) 玉 rather than the words themselves: 「麞牙米簸声々脆、竜頷玉投果々寒」. In Rimer and Chaves’ translation (1997, 120), the poem is:
The roebuck’s teeth, rice grains in a sieve,
every sound so crisp;
from dragon’s jaws, peals are tossed,
every kernel cold,
This poem is on the topic of ‘Hail’, even if the word, or character itself does no appear in it.
The Right state that the final section of the Left’s poem is ‘fierce’ [arashi]. The Left state that the Right’s ‘gemstone hail’ (tama arare) ‘sounds poor’ [kikiyokarazu].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Gentlemen of the Right have stated that the final section of the Left’s poem is ‘fierce’ – how can they say this? I would say that it appears perfectly pleasant [yoroshiku koso miehabere, ikaga]. However, the Right’s ‘when evening has passed by’ (yū koekureba) and ‘leaf-tips’ (ureba) seem a rather overblown style to me [kotogotoshiki fūtei ni miehaberi]. ‘Gemstone’ (tama), though, in addition to being a word used to praise something, is used in conjunction with ‘hail’, in ‘the echoes are chill as pearls falling one by one from a dragon’s jaw’ . There is nothing to criticise about it. Thus, the Right should win.
The Right can find nothing to criticise in the Left’s poem. The Left say, ‘This is a personal lament, as in the previous round.’
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s poem sounds like a congratulatory poem (shūgen) without being one, and its diction and overall conception are splendid [sugata kotoba yoroshiku]. With regard to the Right’s poem, while it is true that one does not normally compose personal laments for poetry competitions [jukkai wa uta’awase ni uchimakasenu koto], it is not the case that there are absolutely no examples of this. While it is true that I find the diction and overall conception of the poem difficult to grasp [uta no sugata kotoba koso nanigoto to wa kokoroezu nagara], it sounds tasteful [yū ni kikoete], and it’s difficult to declare a winner this round. I must make it a tie.’
Both poems this round rely on wordplay, in that the name of the tree which I have been translatiing as ‘brushwood’ the shii 椎 (actually a Japanese chinquapin – an evergreen related to the beech and oak – which is probably best known outside of Japan – in name only – from shiitake 椎茸, a mushroom which grows on its dead wood), is homophonous with shii 四位 ‘Fourth Rank’. While reaching this level was an achievement – many nobles never got any higher than Fifth Rank – if one obtained it, and was not then promoted soon, it was an indication that one’s court career had gone about as far as it was going to go – hence the poets’ laments.
Both teams say that their poems are ‘no more than an expression of personal dissatisfaction’.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are, indeed, similar personal laments [jukkai]. The Right’s ‘trail; the brushwood’ (michi no shiishiba) sounds more modern. The Left’s poem, though, should win.
The Right wonder about the use of ‘just as’ (koto soite). The Left merely state that the Right’s poem is ‘commonplace’ [tsune no koto nari].
Shunzei’s judgement: In the Left’s poem, should it not be ‘to the woodsmen’s kindling/add, will you?’ (shizu no tsumaki ni/soeyo to ya)? Using ‘just as’ (koto soite) does not seem a suitable expression in that it sounds somewhat pompous [yōyōshiku kikoyuru hodo]. As for the Right’s poem, ‘in winter’s chill’ (fuyu samumi) is an ordinary expression. ‘I break to stop my door, yet’ (orisasedo), too, lacks strong feeling. The final section of the Left’s poem, though, sounds pleasant [yoroshiku kokoyu]. It should win.