kaze samumi yūkage kusa ni kakuroete hataorumushi no koe kikoyu nari
Chill the wind Upon the evening grasses, from Whence, concealed, The crickets’ Cries I hear.
Chikafusa 15
Right
誰がためとあやめも見えぬ夕ざれにはたおる虫の声聞ゆらん
ta ga tame to ayame mo mienu yūzare ni hataorumushi no koe kikoyuran
For whose sake Amidst the gloam Of eventide, might The crickets’ Cries I hear?
Lady Hȳoe 16
At present, ‘Amidst the gloam / Of eventide’ appears to have a bit more conception than ‘the evening grasses, from / Whence, concealed, / The crickets’.
hōriko ga shimeyū nobe no suzumushi wa yū tsukete koso furitatete nake
The priests have Garlanded the meadows where The bell crickets With the fall of evening Sing out so loud.
Major Archbishop 13
Right
神がきのいはねにさせる榊葉にゆふかけてなく鈴虫のこゑ
kamigaki no iwane ni saseru sakakiba ni yū kakete naku suzumushi no koe
Within the sacred precincts At the crags’ foot thrust Are leaves from the sacred tree To the garlands clinging, as crying Come the bell crickets’ songs.
Tadasue, Senior Assistant Minister of the Sovereign’s Household 14
I would say that both of these, Left and Right, are of the same quality in terms of diction and configuration.
kumo kakaru takashi no yama no akegure ni tsuma madowaseru oshika naku nari
All hung about with cloud On Takashi Mountain In the gloaming Having lost his mate A stag bells out.
Nakamasa 11
Right
山がつの先あかつきをしりがほに裾野に出でて鹿ぞ鳴くなる
yamagatsu no mazu akatsuki o shirigao ni susono ni idete shika zo naku naru
A mountain man First of all, that ‘tis dawn Knows plain upon his face, As he sets out upon the slopes As a stag bells out!
Head 12
The Left poem’s conclusion, ‘Having lost his mate / A stag bells out’ seems no different from that of a poem by Gō no Jijū in poetry match held by the First Princess.[1] As for the poem of the Right’s ‘A mountain man / Awaits the dawn / Knowing plain upon his face’—what on earth might a mountain man look like while waiting for dawn? There is the tale of Hangu Pass in Cathay, where the barrier guard was waiting for dawn and opened the gate after hearing a cock’s crow, but the expression ‘a mountain man awaits the dawn’ has never appeared before in a poem—either one of Cathay or in the words of Yamato, so I feel that both Left and Right lack any superlative qualities.
[1] Stags. をぐら山たちどもみえぬゆふぎりにつままどはせるしかぞなくなる ogurayama / tachidomo mienu / yūgiri ni / tsuma madowaseru / shika zo nakunaru ‘On gloomy Ogura Mountain / Stands unseen / Among the evening mists / Having lost his mate / A belling stag.’ (Yūshi naishinnō-ke uta’awase eishō go-nen 27). This event was held at the residence of Imperial Princess Sukeko (Yūshi) on the 5th day of the Sixth Month, Eishō 5 [26.10.1050]. The poem won its round, and was later included in Goshūishū (IV: 292).
akatsuki ni nari ya shinuran ogurayama naku shika no ne ni tsuki katabukinu
Is the dawning On its way, I wonder? On gloomy Mount Ogura Crying, a stag bell out As the moon sets.
Mototoshi, Former Assistant Captain in the Palace Guards, Left Division 9
Right
暁や声高砂になく鹿をほのかにやきく沖の舟人
akatsuki ya koe takasago ni naku shika o honoka ni ya kiku oki no funabito
At the dawning From the heights, the bell, at Takasago Of a stag Is faintly heard, perhaps, By the boatmen on the offing…
Head 10
The Left’s poem lacks any superlative diction, yet does not appear to have any glaring faults either. As for the Right’s poem, I do question the placement of ‘at’ in ‘at the dawning’ and, in addition, the order seems reversed in ‘From the heights, the bell, at Takasago / Of a stag’—so much so that I find it difficult to grasp the sense. If the poem had been composed to put ‘stag’ before ‘heights of Takasago’, the poem would feel more trustworthy, wouldn’t it.
itodoshiku teri koso masare momijiba ni hikage utsurou ama no kagoyama
All the more Brightly do shine The scarlet leaves Reflecting the sunshine On heavenly Mount Kago!
Minor Captain Lord Kin’nori, Fourth Rank 7
Right
天の原時雨にくもるけふしもぞ紅葉の色はてりまさりける
ama no hara shigure ni kumoru kyō shimo zo momiji no iro wa terimasarikeru
The plain of heaven is Clouded with showers, but Today for certain The hues of the scarlet leaves Shine most bright.
The Daughter of His Excellency, the Head 8
Considering the Left’s ‘Reflecting the sunshine / On heavenly Mount Kago’ about scarlet leaves reflecting the sun’s light, gives me the feeling that this must be a mistaken reference to the garlands of scarlet clubmoss worn by minor officiants at the Great Thanksgiving Service. In addition, among all of the many mountains in various places whose leaves turn scarlet, it seems something of a stretch to go so far as to mention Heavenly Mount Kago, considering it is an archaic expression found in the Collection of a Myriad Leaves, among other places. The Right’s ‘Clouded with showers, but / Today for certain’ is an expression perfectly in tune with the topic, making one wonder whether the leaves’ hue is the result of single drenching which has dyed them superbly.
asagiri no hareyuku mama ni momijiba wa akanesashite zo iro masarikeru
As the morning mists Are clearing away The autumn leaves Shine madder red, Their hue the best of all.
Daishin 5
Right
月草の色どる比はかへれどもははそのもみぢこころにぞしむ
tsukikusa no irodoru koro wa kaeredomo hahaso no momiji kokoro ni zo shimu
At times the moon-grass’ Fair hues Will shift, yet those of The oaks in autumn Pierce right to the heart!
His Excellency Akinaka 6
The Left poem’s sequencing isn’t bad, but ‘shining madder red’ has, since ancient times, been used of the sun in poetry, while here it is simply ‘Shine madder red, / Their hue the best of all’. It gives the impression that there is some emotion missing. In a poem for this type of poetry match, I wonder if omitting a single element like this is a grave fault? Even so, I have no recollection of a poem being composed in this manner in any poetry match which people have used for reference from days gone by. In addition, the Right’s ‘At times the moon-grass’ / Fair hues / Will shift, yet’ and what follows shows little evidence of poetic cultivation, so in sum, it’s difficult to say anything here.
hito shirezu harenu nageki no aru mono o amaneku terase aki no yo no tsuki
Unknown to all A grief which never clears I have, so Shine without restraint, O, moon this autumn night!
His Excellency, Nagazane, Former Assistant Governor General of Dazai 3
Right
山の端のうき雲晴れてすみのぼる月と共にもゆくこころかな
yama no ha no ukigumo harete suminoboru tsuki to tomo ni yuku kokoro kana
At the mountains’ edge The drifting clouds unfurl, and Clearly climbing With the moon Goes my spirit!
Lady Hyōenokami 4
In the poem of the Left, the expression following ‘A grief which never clears / I have, so’ is both forceful and lacking in gentility; in addition, the poem of the Right’s ‘drifting clouds clear away’ and what follows seems stagnant, so the light of the moon these nights seems to be of the same standard.
On the 29th day of the Eighth Month, Taiji 3,[i] Head of the Department of Shinto, His Excellency Akinaka gave a lecture before the Hirota Shrine, and various people from among his friends and relative met together in the same place.
Judge Mototoshi, Former Assistant Captain in the Palace Guards, Left Division.
Personal Grievances and the Moon
Round One
Left
難波江のあしまにやどる月みれば我が身ひとつも沈まざりけり
naniwae no ashima ni yadoru tsuki mireba wa ga mi hitotsu mo shizumazarikeri
When, at the inlet at Naniwa Between the reeds a’lodging The moon I see, My sorry self, alone, Is sunk in sadness, am I not?
Lord Akisuke, Former Governor of Mimasaka 1
Right
かがみ川影見る月にそこ澄みて沈むみくづのはづかしきかな
kagamigawa kage miru tsuki ni soko sumite shizumu mikuzu no hazukashiki kana
In the mirror of Kagami River, The shape, I see, of the moon Clear down to the bed of Sunken flotsam— How terrible that I am so!
His Excellency Akinaka, Head of the Department of Shintō 2
While both Left and Right show awareness of the conventions, I find it difficult to be beguiled more by coming to the realisation that ‘My sorry self, alone, / Is sunk in sadness, am I not’ on seeing the moon lodging between the reeds, than I am by the conception of the one who seems to have seen the moon over Mount Obasute[1], so I could say that it has a bit of conception about it at present.
[1] Topic unknown. わが心なぐさめかねつさらしなやをばすて山にてる月を見て wa ga kokoro / nagusamekanetsu / sarashina ya / obasuteyama ni / teru tsuki o mite ‘My heart / Cannot be consoled— / In Sarashina / Above Mount Obasute / On seeing the shining moon…’ Anonymous (KKS XVII: 878)
