ukibito o wasurehatenade wasuregawa nani tote taezu koi wataruran
That cruel girl I am unable to ever forget, Even by Wasure—Forgetting—River Why is it that endlessly My love continues on?
Lord Tadafusa 67
Right
恋すてふこひはこれにて限りてん後にもかかる物をこそおもへ
koisu chō koi wa kore nite kagiriten nochi ni mo kakaru mono o koso omoe
Love, they say, Of love right here Let’s make an end! But later, still such Painful feelings will I have…
Lord Munekuni 68
Toshiyori states: the first poem has nothing special about it—poems of this quality are unremarkable. The later poem says, ‘Of love right here / Let’s make an end!’—is it saying that the poet will fall in love with someone else? It’s difficult to say that he’d do that from the following day. It’s vague and doesn’t sound clear. These poems are of the same quality, aren’t they.
Mototoshi states: while neither of these has any faults, the Right’s ‘right here let’s make an end’ seems particularly undesirable. ‘Why is it that endlessly’ is slightly more poetic in the current context, I feel.
aki hatete shimogarenuredo kiku no hana nokoreru iro wa fukaku miekeri
With the end of autumn Burned by frost they are, yet The chrysanthemum blooms’ Lingering hues Appear all the deeper.
Lady Shinano 33
Right
白ぎくも移ひにけりうき人のこころばかりとなにおもひけむ
shiragiku mo utsuroinikeri ukibito no kokoro bakari to nani omoikemu
This white chrysanthemum, too Has faded; ‘tis simply as My cruel lady’s Heart— I wonder why would I think so?
A Court Lady 34
Toshiyori states: the first poem has ‘With the end of autumn / Burned by frost they are’ and this gives the impression that there is nothing remaining. But saying that autumn has ended, yet one can still see the chrysanthemums, so, in the end, ‘hues appear all the deeper’ means there is a mismatch between the beginning and end of the poem. As for the second poem, it’s a commonplace style of composition to say that you despise someone who has forgotten you, but this is certainly a love poem, and it does not resemble a chrysanthemum one. Nevertheless, there’s nothing particular to point out in this poem and it has some vague parts, so I say this is a tie.
Mototoshi states: the phrase ‘Lingering hues / Appears all the deeper’ doesn’t say what these look like or how they appear. In addition, the poem’s style is not that superlative, and its diction seems halting. With that being said, however, the poem of the Right does not resemble one regretting the chrysanthemums in the slightest. It expresses the feelings of despite between a man and woman who have parted and become distant from each other using the metaphor of the chrysanthemum, and thus the conception of the topic lacks depth, so again the Left has to win.
