aki kurete chigusa no hana wa nokoranedo hitori utsurou shiragiku no hana
Autumn sinks to twilight, and Of a thousand blossoms Not one lingers, save Alone and fading A white chrysanthemum bloom.
Lord Shigemoto 41
Right (T – Win)
かぎりなく君が千代経むしるしにや散残るらん宿のしらぎく
kagirinaku kimi ga chiyo hemu shirushi ni ya chirinokoruran yado no shiragiku
That endless through A thousand ages will my Lord pass A sign there is: Not scattering and lingering White chrysanthemums at his house!
Lord Tadataka 42
Toshiyori states: I don’t have much to point out about the poem on ‘autumn sinking to twilight’, except that it could have had ‘indeed, linger’ in place of ‘not one lingers, yet’ to lead to ‘alone and fading’. As for the second poem, there are no other examples of saying ‘chrysanthemums scatter’, yet I do wonder about how this sounds? Nevertheless, it has a conception of Felicitation and this makes it somehow superior.
Mototoshi states: the poems of Left and Right are of the same standard in both conception and diction, so it’s not possible to tell them apart. These, too, are of the same quality.
aki hatete shimogarenuredo kiku no hana nokoreru iro wa fukaku miekeri
With the end of autumn Burned by frost they are, yet The chrysanthemum blooms’ Lingering hues Appear all the deeper.
Lady Shinano 33
Right
白ぎくも移ひにけりうき人のこころばかりとなにおもひけむ
shiragiku mo utsuroinikeri ukibito no kokoro bakari to nani omoikemu
This white chrysanthemum, too Has faded; ‘tis simply as My cruel lady’s Heart— I wonder why would I think so?
A Court Lady 34
Toshiyori states: the first poem has ‘With the end of autumn / Burned by frost they are’ and this gives the impression that there is nothing remaining. But saying that autumn has ended, yet one can still see the chrysanthemums, so, in the end, ‘hues appear all the deeper’ means there is a mismatch between the beginning and end of the poem. As for the second poem, it’s a commonplace style of composition to say that you despise someone who has forgotten you, but this is certainly a love poem, and it does not resemble a chrysanthemum one. Nevertheless, there’s nothing particular to point out in this poem and it has some vague parts, so I say this is a tie.
Mototoshi states: the phrase ‘Lingering hues / Appears all the deeper’ doesn’t say what these look like or how they appear. In addition, the poem’s style is not that superlative, and its diction seems halting. With that being said, however, the poem of the Right does not resemble one regretting the chrysanthemums in the slightest. It expresses the feelings of despite between a man and woman who have parted and become distant from each other using the metaphor of the chrysanthemum, and thus the conception of the topic lacks depth, so again the Left has to win.
