As a stag poem.
妻こふる鹿ぞなくなる小倉山やまの夕霧たちにけむかも
| tsuma kouru shika zo nakunaru ogurayama yama no yūgiri tachinkemu kamo | Loving his mate A stag cries out upon Gloomy Ogura Mountain, where Around the peak the evening mists Have arisen, it seems! |
Tag Archives: peak
Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 23
Round Eleven
Left
さをしかの空にあはれときこゆるは山のたかねになけばなりけり
| saoshika no sora ni aware to kikoyuru wa yama no takane ni nakeba narikeri | A stag belling To the skies, sadly I hear— Perhaps, because ‘tis on the mountain’s peak He cries so… |
Lord Masahira
45
Right (Win)
ゆふまぐれ霧のまがきのさびしさにをしか鳴くなり秋の山里
| yūmagure kiri no magaki no sabishisa ni oshika nakunari aki no yamazato | Tangled in twilight With mist around my brushwood fence, Loneliness fills me, as A stag bells, by A mountain retreat in autumn |
Shinkaku
46
What on earth is the conception of ‘sadly hearing something in the skies’? While no one can truly know why a stag bells, what is the point of saying that ‘sadness is in the skies’? And if one does hear it, it isn’t the case that anyone really knows that the stag is belling out of longing for his mate, is it. The stag seeming to bell by a brushwood fence in the mist, seems to sound a bit more moving at the moment.
Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 22
Round Ten
Left (Tie)
夜もすがら妻こふるまにさをしかのめさへあはでや鳴きあかすらん
| yomosugara tsuma kouru ma ni saoshika no me sae awade ya naki’akasuran | All night long, Yearning for his mate, Does the stag Fail to close his eyes, Belling until the dawn? |
Mikawa
43
Right
独のみみねのをしかのなくこゑにあはれ吹きそふ風の音かな
| hitori nomi mine no oshika no naku koe ni aware fukisou kaze no oto kana | A single, solitary, Stag from the peak Belling out Laces sadness into the gusting Sound of the wind! |
Kojijū
44
The Left’s ‘fail to close his eyes’ is a commonly utilised viewpoint, while the Right’s ‘lacing sadness into the gusts’ is unsatisfactory—simply ‘laced’ would be preferable. Nevertheless, neither of these are particularly significant faults, so these should tie.
Kinkai wakashū 182
Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 13
Round One
Deer
Left (Tie)
さをしかも秋をかなしとおもへばやときしも声をたてて鳴くらん
| saoshika mo aki o kanashi to omoeba ya toki shimo koe o tatete nakuran | Does the stag, too, Autumn’s sadness Feel? That at this time, of all, his cry Should ring out so… |
Lord Shige’ie
25
Right
嶺になく鹿の音ちかくきこゆなり紅葉吹きおろす夜はのあらしに
| mine ni naku shika no ne chikaku kikoyu nari momiji fuki’orosu yowa no arashi ni | Crying upon the peak The stag’s bell close by Sounds, carried With blown down scarlet leaves On the midnight storm… |
Lord Tsunemori
26
The Left truly sounds as if it grasps the conception with its use of ‘of all, his cry’. The Right, too, is poetic with ‘blown down scarlet leaves’. There may be some who say that one should not compose using a subsidiary topic, yet in the poetry match held in Tentoku[i] and the poetry match held by Emperor Kazan[ii], this was judged not to be a fault.
[i] This was the Dairi uta’awase Tentoku yo-nen 内裏歌合 天徳四年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Tentoku 4’) held by Emperor Murakami on the 30th day of the Third Month, Tentoku 4 [28.4.960].
[ii] This was the Dairi uta’awase Kanna gan-nen 内裏歌合 寛和元年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Kanna 1’) held by Emperor Kazan the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1 [28.8.985].
Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase 21
Round Twenty-One
Left (Win)
小倉山木木のもみぢのくれなゐはみねの嵐のおろすなりけり
| ogurayama kigi no momiji no kurenai wa mine no arashi no orosu narikeri | On gloomy Mount Ogura The leaves upon the trees, So scarlet, By the storm wind from the peak Are tossed down. |
Lord Kiyosuke
41
Right
ふかくあさきもみぢばながるあすか河ふちせは色にあらはれにけり
| fukaku asaki momijiba nagaru asukagawa fuchise wa iro ni arawarenikeri | Across both depths and shallows Flow the scarlet leaves On the Asuka river, Among the rapids and the pools Have they appeared. |
Shun’e
42
Neither of these is bad. The Right violates the five syllable pattern; the Left has no faults.
Kinkai wakashū 154
Kinkai wakashū 106
Shikin wakashū 975
At around the same time [Kenpō 4 (1216)] in summer, an impromptu composition.
つくばねのしげきの木のまかげはあれど秋にはかはる夏の夜の月
| tsukubane no shigeki no ko no ma kage wa aredo aki ni wa kawaru natsu no yo no tsuki | On the peak of Tsukuba Between the trees so lush Shadows fall, yet In autumn ‘twill be different— The moon this summer night. |
Juntoku
Entō ōn’uta’awase 11
Round Eleven
Left
しら雲の朝たつ山のからにしき枝に一むら春風ぞ吹く
| shirakumo no asa tatsu yama no karanishiki eda ni hito mura harukaze zo fuku | Clouds of white Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade In a single bunch upon the branch Blown by the breeze of spring! [1] |
Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie
21
Right (Win)
かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲
| kazuragi ya mine no sakura no sakishi yori kokoro no sora ni kakaru shirakumo | Upon Kazuragi Peak, the cherries Have bloomed and ever since The heavens of my heart are Draped with clouds of white. |
Lord Nobunari
22
The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.
[1] An allusive variation on SIS IV: 220.