Tag Archives: Takanobu

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 20

Leave a comment

Left.

後の世を知らせがほにも篝火のこがれて過ぐる鵜飼舟哉

nochi no yo o
shirasegao ni mo
kagaribi no
kogarete suguru
ukaibune kana		 The afterlife:
Foretold by
The fishing-fires,
Ever blazing from
The cormorant boats.

Lord Ari’ie.

219

Right (Win).

ますらおが夜川に立つる篝火に深きあはれをいかで見すらん

masurao ga
yo kawa ni tatsuru
kagaribi ni
fukaki aware o
ikade misuran		 Stalwart men:
Upon the night-time river
Why do the fishing-fires
Such deep sorrow
Show?

Lord Takanobu.

220

Again, neither team has any criticisms to make this round.

Shunzei states, ‘The wording after the Left’s “Foretold by the fishing-fires” (shirasegao ni mo kagaribi no) is surely somewhat unsatisfactory. The Right’s “Such deep sorrow” (fukaki aware o) appears much better. It should win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 10

Leave a comment

Left.

夏來てぞ野中の庵は荒れまさる窓とぢてけり軒の下草

natsu kite zo
nonaka no io wa
aremasaru
mado tojitekeri
noki no shitagusa		 Summer has come, and
Out upon the plains, the hut
Has gone to ruin –
Windows sealed by
Grasses growing ‘neath the eaves.

Lord Ari’ie.

199

Right (Win).

わが宿のよもぎが庭は深し誰分けよとか打ちも拂はん

wa ga yado no
yomogi ga niwa wa
fukashi dare
wakeyo to ka
uchi mo harawan		 My dwelling’s
Garden is all overgrown
Deep as deep can be, but
With no-one to force a passage through
I’ll not sweep it back!

Lord Takanobu.

200

The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left, though, wonder, ‘What is the meaning of “sweep” (uchiharau) in relation to a garden?’

Shunzei comments: ‘The poems of both Left and Right are superb in configuration and diction [sugata kotoba yū ni haberi]. However, the Left, by saying “gone to ruin” (aremasaru) about a hut on the plains, gives the impression it is talking about the beginning of winter, just after the end of autumn. Furthermore, the poem also gives the impression of being composed on the topic of “Field Lodges” (notei). As for the Right, it is certainly possible to sweep away an overgrown garden, as well as the dust from one’s bed, so I see no problems with this usage. Saying “summer’s deep” is by no means unpleasant. The Right wins.”

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 1

Leave a comment

Left (Tie).

龍田山わかみどりなる夏木立もみぢの秋もさもあらばあれ

tatsutayama
waka midorinaru
natsu kodachi
momiji no aki mo
sa mo araba are		 On Tatsuta Mountain
The fresh, green
Summer clustered trees
Autumn’s scarlet leaves
Do match.

Kenshō.

181

Right (Tie).

面影は時雨し秋の紅葉にてうすもへぎなる神南備の森

omokage wa
shigureshi aki no
momiji nite
usumoeginaru
kamunabi no mori		 Bringing to mind
Shower-dampened, autumn
Scarlet leaves:
The pale, grass-green
Sacred groves…

Lord Takanobu.

182

The Right say, ‘The Left’s poem seems to be have the same conception as the composition by Emperor Sūtoku, “Autumn’s clear moon/Do match” (tsuki sumu aki mo sa mo araba are).’ In reply, the Left say, ‘It is entirely to be expected that there should be such a resemblance,’ and then remark about the Right’s poem, ‘It sounds as if scarlet leaves are its main point, and the topic has been rendered secondary. Furthermore, “pale, grass-green” (usumoeginaru) does not seem to clearly relate to anything.’

Shunzei simply says, ‘“Tatsuta Mountain”(tatsutayama), “sacred groves” (kamunabi no mori), “fresh, green” (wakamidori) and “pale, grass-green” are all appropriate to the form, and there does not appear to be a clear winner, or loser.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 27

Leave a comment

Left.

かねて思ふわりなかるべき名殘かな飽かれぬ花も根に歸りなば

kanete omou
warinakarubeki
nagori kana
akarenu hana mo
ne ni kaerinaba		 Long have I thought that
Hopeless would be
My regret,
Should the blooms – unsurfeited –
Return to their roots.

Lord Suetsune.

173

Right (Win).

わがおしむ歎きにそへて思ふかな花にをくるゝ春の心を

wa ga oshimu
nageki ni soete
omou kana
hana ni okururu
haru no kokoro o		 Upon my regretful
Sorrow is heaped
Yet more grief:
With the blossoms gone
That is the sense of spring…

Lord Takanobu.

174

The Right remark that ‘unsurfeited’ (akarenu) in the Left’s poem is ‘grating on the ear’, while the Left suggest that ‘upon my regretful’ (wa ga oshimu) in the Right’s is less than entirely admirable.

Shunzei contents himself with simply saying that, ‘The Left’s “unsurfeited” sounds worse than the Right’s “upon my regretful”.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 24

Leave a comment

Left (Tie).

もろ聲にいたくな鳴きそさもこそはうき沼の池のかはづ成とも

morogoe ni
itaku na naki so
samo koso wa
ukinu no ike no
kawazu naritomo		 O, that in such a chorus
They would not sing!
However much
A swamp the pond of
Frogs may be!

Lord Kanemune.

167

Right (Tie).

夜とゝもに浪の下にて鳴くかはづ何ゆへ深き恨みなるらん

yo to tomo ni
nami no shita nite
naku kawazu
nani yue fukaki
urami naruran		 With nightfall from
Beneath the wavelets
Call the frogs;
For what are such depths
Of despair…

Lord Takanobu.

168

Once again, neither team has anything special to say this round.

Shunzei’s judgement is, ‘Both poems are similar in expression, mentioning “frogs” (kawazu), “swamp” (ukinu) and “depths of despair” (fukaki urami). The round should tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 9

Leave a comment

Left (Tie).

散りつもる花をば踏まじと思ふまに道こそなかれ志賀の山越え

chiritsumoru
hana oba fumaji
to omou ma ni
michi koso nakare
shiga no yamagoe		 Upon the fallen, piléd,
Blossoms I should not tread
I feel, and so
Pathway have I none
Across the Shiga Mountains…

Lord Kanemune.

137

Right (Tie).

春はたゞ雲路を分くる心地して花こそ見えぬ志賀の山越え

haru wa tada
kumoji o wakuru
kokochishite
hana koso mienu
shiga no yamagoe		 In spring, I simply
Forge a path betwixt the clouds,
I feel;
Blossoms indistinguishable
On the path across the Shiga Mountains.

Lord Takanobu.

138

The Right state that ‘I feel and so’ (to omou ma ni) in the Left’s poem is ‘unpleasant’, while the Left remark that ‘entering among blossoms and then saying “blossoms indistinguishable” is unclear.’ The commentators are uncertain about what the Right’s objection to ‘to omou ma ni’ is, and speculate that it may be because it contains one too many syllables for its position in the poem (six when there should be five). This seems most likely, as there are numerous other poems using the expression in other contexts.

Shunzei judgement is: ‘The Right’s emphasis on blossom resembling clouds is excessive and makes the poem eccentric. Their criticism of the Left’s “I feel, and so” (omou ma ni) is also excessive. The round would appear to be a tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 3

Leave a comment

Left.

夕暮に思へばけさの朝霞夜をへだてたる心地こそすれ

yūgure ni
omoeba kesa no
asa kasumi
yo o hedatetaru
kokochi koso sure		 In the evening
Pondering on the morn’s
Morning mist:
That a night does stand between,
The feeling strikes me strongly.

Lord Ari’ie.

125

Right (Win).

かくしつゝつもればおしき春の日をのどけき物と何思らむ

kakushitsutsu
tsumoreba oshiki
haru no hi o
nodokeki mono to
nani omouramu		 Doing this and that
Time passes, so I should regret
These days of spring,
Spent in peaceful
Thought – and for what!

Lord Takanobu.

126

Neither team has any comments to make about the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei states, ‘The Left seem to touch on the topic of the round only distantly, while the Right’s ‘Time passes, so I should regret’ (tsumoreba oshiki) appears particularly splendid. It must be the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 26

Leave a comment

Left.

この世には心とめじと思ふまにながめぞはてぬ春のあけぼの

kono yo ni wa
kokoro tomeji to
omou ma ni
nagame zo hatenu
haru no akebono		 From this world
I’ll sever all ties,
I vow, yet
I cannot, while gazing on
The dawn in springtime.

Kenshō.

111

Right (Win).

何となく心うきぬるひとり寢に明ぼのつらき春の色哉

nani to naku
kokoro ukinuru
hitorine ni
akebono tsuraki
haru no iro kana		 For some reason
My heart’s unquiet;
In solitary sleep,
Comes the dawn with spiteful
Springtime hues…

Lord Takanobu.

112

The Right state that, ‘it does not seem as if much thought has been given to the placement of “the dawn in springtime” (haru no akebono). Given that it appears in the topic, why build up to it in such a roundabout way?’ The Left, however, have no comments to make on the Right’s poem.

Shunzei, however, states, ‘The Gentlemen of the Right’s statement of about the lack of thought given to “dawn” (akebono) is not reasonable. Even in topics which combine more than one element (musubidai 結題) , it has been said that there are characters which express these indirectly (mawasu moji まはす文字). In topics such as “Spring Dawn”, to fail to clearly mention it suggests nothing more than ignorance of composition. The use of “while” (ma ni), however, is a clear fault, and the Right’s poem is thus definitely superior.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 19

Leave a comment

Left (Tie).

津の國のこやのわたりのながめには遊ぶ糸さへひまなかりけり

tsu no kuni no
koya no watari no
nagame ni wa
asobu ito sae
hima nakarikeri		 In the land of Tsu,
When out from Koya
I turn my gaze,
Even the wavering hazes
Seem to take no rest.

Lord Suetsune.

97

Right (Tie).

春來ればなびく柳のともがほに空にまがふや遊ぶいとゆふ

haru kureba
nabiku yanagi no
tomogao ni
sora ni magau ya
asobu ito yū		 When the spring is come,
Fluttering willow fronds’
Like,
In the skies can be perceived:
Wavering hazes.

Lord Takanobu.

98

The Right say that the Left’s poem, ‘suggests heat haze only occurs at Koya in Tsu,’ while the Left say, ‘what are we to make of phrasing such as “like” (tomogao ni)?’, obliquely suggesting that it’s inappropriate poetic diction.

Shunzei says simply that, ‘the purport of both sides’ comments about both poems is apposite,’ and makes the round a tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 13

Leave a comment

Left (Win).

末遠き若葉の芝生うちなびき雲雀鳴野の春の夕暮

sue tōki
wakaba no shibafu
uchinabiki
hibari naku no no
haru no yūgure		 To the distance far
The growing greensward
Stretches;
Skylarks singing o’er the plain
In the springtime evening.

Lord Sada’ie

85

Right.

雲に入るそなたの聲をながむれば雲雀落ち來る明ぼのゝ空

kumo ni iru
sonata no koe no
nagamureba
hibari ochikuru
akebono no sora		 From within the clouds
Comes song: thither
Staring,
Skylarks swooping
Through the skies at dawn.

Lord Takanobu.

86

The Right team question what it is that the greensward ‘streams’ (nabiku) towards, while the Left say that starting with ‘within the clouds’ (kumo ni iru) is ‘somewhat abrupt’.

Shunzei comments of the Right’s question, ‘whatever it streams towards, in truth, from point of view of form, it should not stream at all,’ meaning that there’s no need to use the expression at all in the poem. As for the Right’s poem, somewhat facetiously, he says, ‘what is “within the clouds” is, most likely a ball, and while gazing “thither at their song”, one would think that, no doubt, the skylark, too, would soon come swooping down, but one would have to stop staring in order to catch it!’ In addition, ‘wouldn’t it be to dark at dawn to distinguish a skylark?’ So, ‘Skylarks singing o’er the plain/In the springtime evening’ should be the winner.