kimi ya aranu wa ga mi ya aranu obotsukana tanomeshi koto no mina kawarinuru
Aren’t you who you once were? Aren’t I who I was then? How strange that All we trusted in Has changed.
Shun’e 57
Right
恋ひしなん命ぞをしきつれもなき人にしも身をかへんねたさに
koishinan inochi zo oshiki tsure mo naki hito ni shimo mi o kaen netasa ni
That I would die of love Makes me regret my life! But for that cruel Girl should I Exchange myself—exasperating!
Yorisuke
58
I feel the left is old-fashioned, isn’t it? And yet, it is not without feeling. The Right does not have a poor conception, but its diction is insufficient.
koishinan inochi o tare ni yuzuri’okite tsurenaki hito no hate o misemashi
Likely dying of love, My life, to whom should I Consign? That cruel girl’s Ending—would that show it to her?
Shun’e
51
Right (Win)
つれもなき人はおもひもすてられでうき身のみこそなげまほしけれ
tsure mo naki hito wa omoi mo suterarede ukimi no mi koso nagemahoshikere
So cruel is That girl, but my passion for her I cannot abandon; It is my pitiful self that I would wish to throw away!
Kenshō
52
The Left isn’t bad, but it’s a bit cliched. As for the Right, having both ‘abandon’ and ‘throw away’ could be a fault and yet the conception of one ‘abandoning passion’ is different. Whichever way you look at it, it wins.
yuki fukami shizu no fuseya mo uzumorete keburi bakari zo shirushi narikeru
Snow so deep that The peasants’ huts, too, Are buried, and The smoke, alone, is Their only sign!
Kinshige 45
Right
花の春もみぢの秋もしるかりし松の木ずゑもみえぬ白雪
hana no haru momiji no aki mo shirukarishi matsu no kozue mo mienu shirayuki
By blossom is spring, and By scarlet leaves is autumn Known— The treetops of the pines Invisible with snow, so white.
Kūnin 46
The Left poem’s conception of ‘sign of smoke’ sounds particularly profound. As for the Right, it is possible for enough snow to fall to conceal a pine’s lower leaves, too, so the poem does not sound satisfying.
