The Right state: evening fortune-telling and crossroad divination are different things. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults.
In judgement: both evening fortune-telling and crossroad divination are conducted in the evening, and with either one could wish ‘Let it say, “Come with me!”’ (kon to tanomeyo), so this does not seem to be a mistake does it? The Right has the fault of having both ‘We will meet’ (au koto o) and ‘sunset bell, too’ (iriai no kane mo). The Left should win.
The Right state: while ‘shadowed’ (kakikurasu) is a normal turn of phrase, we find ‘tears shadowing my sight’ (kurasu namida) to be unsatisfactory. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of using shio no hiru ma alone for a play on words with hiru.
In judgement: The Left’s ‘That the hours had flown so fast I did forget’ (hima yuku koma mo wasurarete) gives the impression that the conception of the poem ought to be of waiting for dusk, but ‘First, the tears shadowing my sight I should suppress’ (kurasu namida o mazu osauran) seems to be something entirely different. As for the Right’s ‘Even when the beach is daytime dry my sleeves are soaked’ (shio no hiru ma mo sode wa nurekeri), I ask you, how can you think daytime isn’t a part of the phrase? The Right must win.
The Right state: the Left’s ‘On this morning, I send a letter and in its words’ (kesa yaru fumi no koto no ha) seems utterly plain. Simply composing on the morning after seems somewhat dubious. The Left state: we find nothing to mention in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: although the Right does convey the pathos of love, the Left’s ‘On this morning, I send a letter’ is certainly superior.
The Right state: the use of the question in the Left’s poem, means that the comparison is not made sufficiently forcefully. The Left state: we find no faults worth mentioning in particular in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: neither poem seems to have any qualities which make them worthy of a win, or a loss.
The Right state: the Left’s poem sounds like one composed by His Excellency. The Left state: having ‘coldness’ (tsurenasa) at the beginning of the poem, and ‘depth of feeling’ (kokoro nagasa) at the beginning of the second section is poor.
In judgement: in the Right’s poem, I do wonder about the dual use of sa. As for the Left’s poem, I feel I must refrain from judging it a winner or loser. Thus, this round I will make no judgement.
The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks thought, and is pedestrian. The Left state: where is it that the poet is ‘stepping down’ to?
In judgement: the initial sections of both Left and Right, ‘How unexpected!’ (asamashi ya) and ‘I would not have thought’ (omoiki ya) fail to link clearly with the sense at the end of the poems, but the Left’s sense is particularly immature. The Right’s ‘stepping down’ is doubtless a reference to the water’s edge. Thus, the Right wins.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we wonder about saying ‘fragrance passed on to my sleeves is gone’. The Gentlemen of the Left state: concluding the poem saying things are ‘hard’ (uki) lacks impact.
In judgement: A ‘fragrance passed onto my sleeves’ ‘disappearing’ does not seem a particular fault. But, simply finishing ‘until we should meet again, I have not even that consolation…’ (au made no katami dani nashi) gives the impression the poet has not thought deeply about the situation, rather than considering it painful. ‘One night gone by’ (arishi yo) fails to connect with the remainder of the poem. The Right should win.
The Right state: the final section of the Left does not match the conception. The Left state: the Right’s poem is old-fashioned in conception.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem really does seem unsatisfactory. While ‘has become known to all’ in the Right’s poem does sound old-fashioned, again despite the presence of old-fashioned diction, it is a fine poem. I make ‘known to all’ the winner!
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the conception of parting is not clearly expressed in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: it’s without thought.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem is in a style which expresses the emotions unusually, but charmingly. The Right’s poem is exactly on topic. It can only win.