A poem from the Empress’ Poetry Competition in the Kanpyō Period.
ちると見てあるべき物を梅花うたてにほひの袖にとまれる
| tiru to mite arubeki mono wo ume no Fana utate niFoFi no sode ni tomareru |
Seeing that they will fall Is how I should have thought, but The plum blossoms’ Scent, disturbingly, Clings to my sleeves… |
The Monk Sosei.
Left.
いつしかと移ろふ色の見ゆるかな花心なる八重の白菊
| itsu shika to utsurou iro no miyuru kana hanagokoronaru yae no shiragiku |
All at once Your colours change I see; What a flower’s heart you have, Eightfold chrysanthemum! |
495
Right (Win).
花ならぬ匂ひも後はなき物を移ろひ殘れ庭の白菊
| hana naranu nioi mo nochi wa naki mono wo utsuroinokore niwa no shiragiku |
Flowers are there none, But a trace of scent Of what’s gone Leave trailed behind, O, garden chrysanthemums! |
496
The Right remark that the Left’s poem, ‘seems overly humorous’ [tawabure ni nitari]. The Left counter by wondering, ‘Whether it really is possible to separate flower and scent?’
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem, even though it has a ‘flower’s heart’ (hanagokoro) ‘changing’ (utsurou), seems to lack the conception of a poem on ‘lingering chrysanthumums’ [zangiku no kokoro sukunaku kikoyuru ni ya]. As for the Right’s poem, although it is true that flower and scent are not separate, there are poems composed on plum blossom, such as ‘The plum blossoms’/Scent, disturbingly,/Clings to my sleeves’ or ‘Leave behind your scent, at least’, so ‘a trace of scent’ (nioi mo nochi wa) does not seem to be a fault. ‘Leave trailed behind’ (utsuroinokore), too, is not unpleasant [yoroshikarazaru ni arazu]. The Right should win.
Left (Win).
さまざまの花をば菊に分とめて墻根に知らぬ霜枯の比
| samazama no hana o ba kiku ni waketomete kakine ni shiranu shimogare no koro |
Of all the many Flowers, the chrysanthemums Alone are last; I knew not they were by the fence, and Now burned by frost… |
493
Right.
移ろふか又咲花もなき花と菊にも染めつ深き心を
| utsurou ka mata saku hana mo naki hana to kiku ni mo sometsu fukaki kokoro o |
Is it their changing hues? Later blooming flowers Are there flowers none, so The chrysanthemums stain The depths of my heart… |
494
The Right state that the Left’s poem is difficult to understand, and that it would have better to have had ‘unknown to all’ (shirarenu) in place of ‘I knew not’ (shiranu).The Left state that the ‘diction of the Right’s poem does not flow smoothly’ [kotoba, todokohoritari].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘alone at last’ (waketomete) is something I wonder at the meaning of, however, the final section is excellent [yoroshiku haberubeshi]. The Right’s poem appears to express the conception [kokoro aru yō ni wa haberu o], but due to the dual use of ‘flowers’ (hana), ‘chrysanthemums’ (kiku) are reduced to a hidden topic [kakushidai naru yō naru], and this sounds insufficient. The Left wins.
Left (Tie).
散果てん木葉の音を殘しても色こそなけれ嶺の松風
| chirihaten ko no ha no oto o nokoshitemo iro koso nakere mine no matsukaze |
Completely scattered Are the leaves, but the sound Remains Lacking only the hue As the wind blows through the pines on the peak. |
491
Right.
時雨ゆく松の緑は空晴て嵐にくもる峰の紅葉葉
| shigure yuku matsu no midori wa sora harete arashi ni kumoru mine no momijiba |
Is drizzle falling On the pines so green? The skies are clear, Clouded only by a storm Of scarlet leaves from the peaks… |
492
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left state that they find the Right’s poem, ‘difficult to grasp’. In reply, the Right say, ‘It is conceived after a Chinese poem that “the wind in the pines is the sound of rain”.’
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem is excellent in both configuration and diction [sugata kotoba yoroshiku haberumere]. The Right’s ‘clouded only by a storm’ (arashi ni kumoru) sounds charming in conception [kokoro okashiku kikoyu] – even without drawing upon the Chinese model. In this round, too, there is no clear winner or loser and it must tie.
Left.
はかなしや浮きたる風に誘はれていづち生田の杜の木葉ぞ
| hakanashi ya ukitaru kaze ni sasowarete izuchi ikuta no mori no konoha zo |
How fleeting! The fickle wind Beckons, but Where does Ikuta’s Sacred grove send its leaves? |
489
Right.
惜しみかね嶺の紅葉に染置きし心の色も散り果てにけり
| oshimikane mine no momiji ni someokishi kokoro no iro mo chirihatenikeri |
I cannot regret, that Scarlet leaves from on the peak Have laid a stain Upon the hues within my heart And scattered them all over! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
490
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left wonder whether the use of ‘I cannot regret’ (oshimikane) implies that the poet feels nothing prior to that.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s final section is elegant [yū ni haberu], but although I have heard of many different types of wind, I have no recollection of any familiarity [kikinarete mo oboehaberane] with a ‘fickle wind’ (ukitaru kaze). While I feel the Right’s poem has no particular faults, the initial ‘I cannot regret’ (oshimikane) does not seem to fit will with what follows. The poems are alike and the round must tie.
Left.
山里は梢さびしく散果てゝ嵐の音も庭の枯葉に
| yamazato wa kozue sabishiku chirihatete arashi no oto mo niwa no kareba ni |
In a mountain home The treetops, desolately, Are completely bare; The storm-wind’s sound Is in my garden’s withered leaves… |
487
Right (Win).
木葉散る外山の暮を分行ば袖に嵐の聲ぞ砕くる
| ko no ha chiru toyama no kure o wakeyukeba sode ni arashi no koe zo kudakuru |
All the leaves are fallen, as Through the distant mountain’s dusk I make my way; Upon my sleeves, the storm-wind’s Cry is shattered. |
488
The Right state that the Left’s poem ‘seems superficially appealing, but actually has nothing remarkable about it.’ The Left question how the poet can ‘make his way through the dusk’ (kure o wakeyuku) and ‘shatter’ (kudakuru) the wind.
Shunzei’s judgment: The lower section of the Left’s poem is charming [okashiku koso haberu], but the initial section is frequently used, and old fashioned [tsune no furugoto nite]. The Right’s shattering of the wind in ‘the distant mountains’ dusk’ is a questionable expression [obotsukanaki yō], but the Left’s initial section really does sound as if it lacks any artistry [muisugite kikoyu]. The Right’s total effect is most fine [sugata yoroshiku miehaberi]. It should win.
Left.
かつ惜しむ眺めも移る庭の色よ何を梢の冬に殘さん
| katsuoshimu nagame mo utsuru niwa no iro yo nani o kozue no fuyu ni nokosan |
A slight regret I feel, as My gaze shifts With the garden’s hues; What of the treetops Will remain in winter? |
485
Right.
散り積もる紅葉かき分來て見れば色さへ深き山路なりけり
| chiritsumoru momiji kakiwake kitemireba iro sae fukaki yamaji narikeri |
Fallen in drifts, Forging through the scarlet leaves I come, and see The depth of colour laid Upon the mountain paths. |
486
The Right state that the Left’s poem is lacking in conception [kokoro yukazu]. The Left respond that the Right’s poem, as in the previous round, is old-fashioned in both conception and diction [kokoro kotoba onaji yō ni furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem does seem to have some conception about it, despite the Right’s criticism of this as lacking. Although the Right’s ‘depths of colour’ (iro sae fukaki) appears easy to grasp, again, the round should tie.
Shunzei is misquoting a poem from the Kokinshu here, albeit one which exists in different versions in different version of the text. See: KKS V: 284.
Left.
いかばかり散積もればか大井河流れもやらぬ紅葉なるらむ
| ika bakari chiritsumoreba ka ōikawa nagare mo yaranu momiji naruramu |
How many Have fallen altogether upon Ōi River? That its flow is stopped With scarlet leaves… |
483
Right.
紅に關の小川は成にけり音羽の山に紅葉散るらし
| kurenai ni seki no ogawa wa narinikeri otowa no yama ni momiji chirurashi |
Scarlet Has the stream by the barrier Become. On Otowa Mountain The leaves must be falling… |
484
The Right state that the Left’s use of –ba ka is grating on the ear [kikinikushi], and query whether saying the ‘flow is stopped’ (nagare mo yaranu) is appropriate. The Left simply say the Right’s poem ‘seems old-fashioned’ [furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: The diction used in the Left’s poem, -ba ka, is simply old-fashioned, and the Right’s criticism is misplaced [sama de arubekarazu]. In addition, I am dubious of their criticism of the latter part of the poem. A somewhat pretentious use of ‘falling leaves’, perhaps? In the Right’s poem, it is inappropriate to combine ‘Otowa Mountain’, ‘stream by the barrier’ and –rashi [because it is an archaic word]. It certainly does not resemble, for example, ‘Mountain dwellings of the gods scarlet leaves look to be falling’ (mimuro no yama ni momiji chirurashi). In addition, ‘Scarlet has the stream by the barrier become’, would mean an excessive fall of leaves, indeed! The Left’s ba ka should win.