yuki fureba shirushi no sugi mo hana sakite miwa no yamabe mo ikaga tazunemu
When the snow has fallen, The symbolic cedars, too, Bloom with blossom— To Miwa’s mountainside How might I make my way?
Lord Saburō 45
Right (Win)
しらゆきにふるの山みちうづもれてたどるばかりになりもゆくかな
shirayuki ni furu no yamamichi uzumorete tadoru bakari ni nari mo yuku kana
In snow, so white, Furu’s ancient mountain paths Are buried, so Simply I must feel my way As I go along!
Ushigimi 46
The Left’s poem is an entirely transparent adaptation of an earlier work. This poem is:
ふる雪に印の杉もうづもれていづこなるらむ三輪の山本
furu yuki ni shirushi no sugi mo uzumorete izuko naruruamu miwa no yamamoto
In the falling snow, Even the symbolic cedars Are buried Where might be Miwa mountain’s foot?[i]
The Right’s poem has nothing of interest about it, nor does it have any faults to indicate. Thus, there are insufficient grounds for judgement.
The Left’s poem follows the conception of a poem which appeared in the Kaya Palace Poetry Match.[ii] Although this is an earlier work, truly, it’s not that good, and so this poem doesn’t seem that superlative. Why couldn’t one visit if blossom has simply bloomed? The former poem says it would be difficult to get there because it’s buried in snow. The Right’s poem isn’t that good, but it seems better than the Left, so it should win.
[ii] Snow. ふるゆきにすぎのあをばもうづもれてしるしも見えずみわのやまもと furu yuki ni / sugi no aoba mo / uzumorete / shirushi mo miezu / miwa no yamamoto ‘In the falling snow / The green cedar needles / Are buried, so / The symbol goes unseen, / Of Miwa mountain’s foot.’ Lady Settsu (Kaya no in shichiban uta’awase 55). This poetry match, Kaya no in shichiban uta’awase 高陽院七番歌合 (‘Seven Round Poetry Match held at the Kaya Palace’), was sponsored by Fujiwara no Morozane 藤原師実 (1042-1101) and held on the 19th day of the Eighth Month, Kahō 1 [1.10.1094]. The judge, Minamoto no Tsunenobu 源経信 (1016-1097), approved of this poem, saying it was ‘extremely charming’. It was later included in Kin’yōshū (IV: 285), with the headnote, ‘Composed on the conception of snow at the Poetry Match held at the Residence of the Former Uji Chancellor’.
yaezakura furuki miyako ni nioedomo furizu mo hana no mezurashiki kana
Eightfold cherry Around the ancient capital Does glow, yet Unfallen and anew, the blossoms Are remarkable!
Cell of Fragrant Cloud 11
Right
みやこいでてかりそめにこし山ざとの花に心のからめられぬる
miyako idete karisome ni koshi yamazato no hana ni kokoro no karamerarenuru
Departing the capital On occasion I make my way To a mountain retreat where The blossoms my heart Have entangled.
Cell of Compassionate Light 12
The Left’s poem is a clear example of the overlayed diction fault. As for the Right’s poem, saying ‘have entangled’ is extremely overblown diction. Whatever sort of poem it might be, this expression would be unacceptable, wouldn’t it! Was this, perhaps, composed with an imperfect understanding of the Kawara Minister’s poem? That goes ‘For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’[1] Perhaps this is a misreading of a character in the poem’s text?[i] The Left has the fault of overlayed diction, and the Right…[ii]
The Left’s poem is extremely charming. I do have to say that having both ‘ancient’ (furuki) and ‘unfallen’ (furizu) is a fault and yet, this should not be criticized excessively. The poem of the Right’s ‘On occasion I make my way’, too, does not seem as if the poet is visiting the blossom, and so is lacking in sentiment. The concluding ‘have entangled’ is a piece of overblown diction, although it is not the case that it does not appear in prior poetry,[2] but I still feel that it grates on the ear a bit.
[1] When he participated in an archery display, during the reign of the Jōgan emperor [Seiwa]. けふ桜しづくにわが身いざぬれむかごめにさそふ風のこぬまに kyō sakura / shizuku ni wa ga mi / iza nuremu / kagome ni sasou / kaze no konu ma ni ‘Today let cherry blossom / Droplets my body / Drench! / For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’ The Kawara Minister of the Left (GSS II: 56)
[2] 美知乃倍乃 宇万良能宇礼尓 波保麻米乃 可良麻流伎美乎 波可礼加由加牟 michi no e no / umara no ure ni / haomame no / karamaru kimi o / hagareka yukamu ‘At the roadside / The briar rose tips / By bean vines / Are entangled, but from you / My love, I must depart…’ Hasetsukabe no Tori (MYS XX: 4352)
[i] Mototoshi is suggesting that Sōen has misread kagome かこめ in Minamoto no Tōru’s famous earlier poem as karame からめ, which would have been possible if reading a handwritten text.
[ii] There is a lacuna in Mototoshi’s judgement here, but it is clear from what he has said that he disapproved of both poems this round and so it would have been a tie.
sakurayama hana no sakari ni kaze fukeba kozue o koshite shiranami zo tatsu
On the mount of Cherries So fine is the blossom that When the wind does blow, Passing o’er the treetops, Whitecaps arise!
Controller’s Graduate 9
Right
この春ははなにこころのあくがれてこのもとにてもくらしつるかな
kono haru wa hana ni kokoro no akugarete ko no moto nite mo kurashitsuru kana
This springtime By the blossoms my heart Is captivated, and Beneath the trees Does dwell!
Kerin’in Graduate 10
Both Left and Right, in terms of diction, tone and style are superb with no faults at all. Thus, this is a tie.
The final section of the Left’s poem lacks fluency, yet it has conception. As for the Right’s poem, in order for one’s heart to be captivated by the blossom on every single treetop, one would need to be walking around. If one is resting peacefully beneath the trees, then one should say that one’s heart is captured. This section sounds erroneous, so the Left should win.
haru no hi o nao nagakare to omou kana hana miru koto no akanu kokoro wa
O, let the days of spring Still linger lengthily on, I wish! For Gazing on the blossom Has yet to sate my heart…
Cell of the Fragrant Elephant 7
Right
ことしもやあだにちりぬる山ざくらさもあさましきはなのくせかな
kotoshi mo ya ada ni chirinuru yamazakura sa mo asamashiki hana no kuse kana
This year, too, will You swiftly scatter, O, mountain cherry? That is a wretched Habit blossoms have!
Cell of the Everlasting Truth 8
The poem of the Left’s final section is that of a pre-existing older poem.[i] The poem of the Right’s final section is deplorable. Even so, I make the Right the winner.
Both Left and Right are elegant. With that being said, the Left also sounds charming, while the Right’s concluding ‘habit!’, although it is not a major fault, grates on the ear a bit. This is another win for the Left.
[i] The ending of this poem in the texts of this match with Mototoshi’s judgements is different, with the final line being akanu kagiri wa (‘have yet to sate’). This means it closely resembles: Topic unknown. ゆきとまるところぞはるはなかりける花に心のあかぬかぎりは yukitomaru / tokoro zo haru wa / nakarikeru / hana ni kokoro no / akanu kagiri wa ‘To go and stay / A place in springtime / Have I none / For the blossoms, my heart / Have yet to sate completely.’ Sugawara no Tamenobu (GSIS I: 90). Kubota et al. (2018, 223) suggest that as we know that the version of the match that Toshiyori judged was produced later, this poem may have been revised in the light of Mototoshi’s judgement.
