住吉の松はあはれもかけやせむ八十過ぬる和歌の浦波
| sumiyoshi no matsu wa aware mo kake ya semu yasoji suginuru waka no uranami | At Sumiyoshi will The pines feel compassion For me? Spending more than eighty years Washed by the waves of Waka Bay… |
Judge
1201
和歌の浦のしるべとなれる老の浪げに住吉の松も知るらん
| waka no ura no shirube to nareru oi no nami geni sumiyoshi no matsu mo shiruran | To Waka Bay A guide have you become, Washed by waves of age; Truly, at Sumiyoshi The pines will know that well! |
A Servant Girl
1202
Left
年深き入江の秋の月見ても別惜しまぬ人やかなしき
| toshi fukaki irie no aki no tsuki mitemo wakare oshimanu hito ya kanashiki | Late on in the year Above the bay one evening, Glimpsing the moon: That he cares not at their parting – Is that a source of sadness? |
A Servant Girl
1199
Right (Win)
ともすれば別を知らぬ浪の上にかきなす音をも人は問けり
| tomo sureba wakare o shiranu nami no ue ni kakinasu ne o mo hito wa toikeri | As ever, In ignorance of our parting, Upon the waves The strains I pluck Bring folk to ask me why… |
Ietaka
1200
Both Gentlemen state: the poems are based on ‘The Song of the Lute’ and have no faults to mention.
In judgement: both the Left and the Right are based on ‘The Song of the Lute’ and the Left, beginning with ‘late on in the year’ (toshi fukaki) is pleasant, but ‘that he cares not at their parting’ (wakare oshimanu) and what follows seems rather insufficient, in addition to simply seeming to recall Xunyang River and lack a conception of the poet’s own love. The Right has ‘in ignorance of our parting’ (wakare o shiranu), while ‘bring folk to ask me why’ (hito wa toikeri) also has a slight conception that the lady has not asked why either. Thus, the Right should win.
Left (Win)
誰となく寄せては返る浪枕浮きたる舟の跡もとどめず
| tare to naku yosete wa kaeru namimakura ukitaru fune no ato mo todomezu | To no one Cleaving, they return; Pillowed on the waves The drifting boats’ Wakes fail to linger long… |
A Servant Girl
1151
Right
何方を見ても忍ばむ難波女の浮き寝の跡に消ゆる白浪
| izukata o mitemo shinobamu naniwame no ukine no ato ni kiyuru shiranami | Whither Should I look in longing? With a girl from Naniwa I slept briefly, but her Wake vanishes among the whitecaps… |
Jakuren
1152
Both Left and Right together state: neither poem is bad.
In judgement: both poems seem elegant in configuration and diction, but the Right’s ‘girl from Naniwa’ (naniwame) raises the same issue as ‘diving girl’, only more so – there is not even evidence on this from inclusion in the Collection of Poems to Sing, is there? The Left’s ‘cleaving, they return; pillowed on the waves’ (yosete wa kaeru namimakura) really does seem like a pleasure girl, so I must say it is superior.