tsuyu sugaru niwa no hagiwara irozukinu ika naru hito no omoisomuran
All clung with dew, The bush clover grove in the grounds Has taken on such hues, that I wonder who it is Might have just fallen into passion’s flames?
Chikanari 61
Right (Win)
おく露は秋のならひの萩が枝にあまるや雁の涙なるらん
oku tsuyu wa aki no narai no hagi ga e ni amaru ya kari no namida naruran
Dewdrops falling is Autumn’s custom for The bush clover branches, but Added to them are the goose Tears, perhaps?[1]
Ie’kiyo 62
The Left’s poem has a person’s feelings being dyed by the bush-clover, but I cannot think why this should be? The Right’s poem seems particularly pleasant. Thus, it wins.
[1] An allusive variation on: Composed on the occasion of a poetry competition at Prince Koresada’s house. 秋の夜のつゆをばつゆとおきながらかりの涙やのべをそむらむ aki no yo no / tsuyu oba tsuyu to / okinagara / kari no namida ya / nobe o somuran ‘On Autumn nights / The dew as dewdrops / Falls, but, / Perhaps goose tears / Stain the fields?’ Mibu no Tadamine (KKS V: 258)
takasago no susono no ma’hagi tsuyu fukashi mine no akikaze fukazu mo aranamu
On Takasago’s Slopes the fair bush clover is Deep in dew— O, that the autumn winds from the peak Would fail to blow…
The Supernumerary Major Counsellor 53
Right
久かたの天とぶかりの涙さへおちてみだるる萩のうは露
hisakata no ama tobu kari no namida sae ochite midaruru hagi no uwazuyu
From the eternal Heavens flying, even the goose Tears Drop in confusion Overlaying the dew upon the bush clover.[1]
Nobunari 54
Both Left and Right seem particularly pleasant. Thus, they tie.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. なきわたるかりの涙やおちつらむ物思ふやどの萩のうへのつゆ nakiwataru / kari no namida ya / ochitsuran / mono’omou yado no / hagi no ue no tsuyu ‘Calling across / Did the geese let tears / Fall? / My dwelling, lost in thought, / Has dew upon the bush clover.’ Anonymous (KKS IV: 221)
akenbono wa namida ya moroki hototogisu naku ne ni otsuru mori no shitazuyu
With the dawn Are you swiftly to tears moved By the cuckoo’s Calling cries, falling from The forest drip dewdrops?
Dōchin 39
Right
今もかも昔やこふる橘の花ちる里になく郭公
ima mo kamo mukashi ya kouru tachibana no hana chiru sato ni naku hototogisu
I wonder, is she now, As in days gone by, beloved Where orange Blossom falls on the estate— The calling cuckoo?[1]
Dharma Master Nyokan 40
Both Left and Right are of the same quality, yet I wonder about the sound of the Right poem’s final section, so the Left wins.
[1] An allusive variation on: A poem by the Governor-General of Dazai, Lord Ōtomo. 橘の花散る里の霍公鳥片恋しつつ鳴く日しぞ多き tachibana no / hana chiru sato no / hototogisu / kata koishitsutsu / naku hi shi zo ōki ‘Orange / Blossom scatters round my estate where / The cuckoo / For unrequited love / Does cry on many a day…’ Ōtomo no Tabito (MYS VIII: 1473)
au koto no ima wa katano to narinureba kari ni toikoshi hito mo toikozu
Meeting Now hard as crossing Katano Has become, so he who once Briefly hunted me out Never comes to call.
Lord Michitsune 65
Right (T – Win)
おさふればあまる涙はもる山のなげきにあたる雫なりけり
osaureba amaru namida wa moruyama no nageki ni ataru shizuku narikeri
I hold them in, but, Overflowing, my tears Drip down—on Mount Moru Gathering kindling—grief is plain In every droplet.
Lord Tadataka 66
Toshiyori states: the first poem says ‘hard as crossing Katano has become’, but emphasizes that the lover did come briefly. It’s a mistake to then say that he ‘never comes’. The second poem has ‘Overflowing, my tears / Drip down—on Mount Moru’—it’s certainly not the case that feeling is lacking in the conception here, and it does sound like this is what one feels, so it’s not difficult at all to say this is the winner.
Mototoshi states: neither of these poems has any particular faults or anything outstanding between them, but that there is no one to visit the poet briefly appears, at present, to be slightly more desolate.
shigure moru tabine no toko wa hanazome no tamoto zo saki ni mazu kaerikeru
A shower drips upon me As I doze upon my journey-bed; Blossom-dyed, My sleeves, before me, Have first returned to what they were!
Masahira 75
Right (Win)
はなれゆくみやこをおもふひとりねのなみだをさそふはつしぐれかな
hanareyuku miyako o omou hitorine no namida o sasou hatsushigure kana
Distant has grown The capital, but it fills my thoughts, Sleeping solo, My tears invited by The first shower!
Chikashige 76
The configuration of the Left’s poem appears charming, but it would have sounded more so had there been a reason why ‘my sleeves, before’ had returned to the capital on the journey. The diction and conception of the Right’s poem, beginning with ‘distant has grown’ and leading to ‘tears invited’, is extremely pleasant. It seems the Right wins.
kusamakura shigure mo sode o nurashikeri miyako o kouru namida naranedo
On a pillow of grass The showers, too, my sleeves Have soaked; Longing for the capital These tears are not, yet…
Hiromori 69
Right
かりいほさすならのからはのむらしぐれあはれはまきのおとばかりかは
kari’io sasu nara no karawa no murashigure aware wa maki no oto bakari ka wa
Erecting a crude hut, The withered leaves of oak are Struck by cloudbursts; Does sadness in the evergreens’ Sound solely lie?
Dharma Master Chikyō 70
Both Left and Right appear to have elegant configuration and diction, but the Left seems to presents the soaking of sleeves by showers as something novel, while the Right gives a feeling that it is only the sound of evergreens that makes one sad. Thus, these tie.
tabinesuru aretaru yado no shigure ni wa namida mo tomo ni moru ni zo arikeru
Sleeping on my travels In a ruined hut, The showers And my tears, both, Do leave me drenched!
Minamoto no Munenaga (formerly Michikiyo) 57
Right
ちぎらねどさよのねざめにおとづれてしぐれぞたびのともとなりける
chigiranedo sayo no nezame ni otozurete shigure zo tabi no tomo to narikeru
It made no vow, yet On awaking from a brief night’s sleep, I am visited by the sound Of showers—my journey’s Companion, have they become.
Fujiwara no Noritsune 58
The Left conception and configuration appear pleasant, but after saying that one is ‘sleeping on my travels’ to then have ‘a ruined hut’—this does not really sound like somewhere a person would take lodging on their journey. As for the Right, it seems like the only reason the poet has begun with ‘it made no vow, yet’ is because he wished to use ‘companion’, but these pieces of diction are too far apart. Still, it does seem to have some conception, so I make these a tie.
