Love
Left
淡く濃く染めはじめたるもみぢ葉になどわが恋をおもひそむらむ
| usuku koku somehajimetaru momijiba ni nado wa ga koi o omoisomuramu | Both lightly and deeply Have begun to colour The scarlet leaves, so Why should my love Seem to occupy my thought so? |
25
Right
白露のおきてわかれし朝より消えかへりても恋ひわたるかな
| shiratsuyu no okite wakareshi ashita yori kiekaeritemo koiwataru kana | Silver dewdrops Fell as we parted— With the morning They may vanish, yet My love for you continues on! |
26
Round Six
Left
夜もすがらまつにはなかでほととぎすあしたのはらにひとこゑぞきく
| yomosugara matsu ni wa nakade hototogisu ashita no hara ni hitokoe zo kiku | All through the night I pined without a song, O, cuckoo Then with the morn on Ashita plain I hear a single call! |
Cell of Fragrant Cloud
25
Right (Win)
五月にはしばなくやとぞほととぎすなほうらまちにさぬるよもなし
| satsuki ni wa shiba naku ya to zo hototogisu nao uramachi ni sanuru yo mo nashi | In the Fifth Month Incessantly might he sing—I think, so The cuckoo I am already eagerly awaiting, Sleeping not at all on any night! |
Cell of Compassionate Light
26
The Left’s poem seems to have an extraordinary conception, yet its diction is insufficient. The Right’s poem is old-fashionedly artless and thus has elements which are entirely poetically backward-looking.
The Left’s poem is particularly oddly composed in that is fails to account for the essential meaning of Ashita Plain. Does saying a ‘single call now’[1] mean that that one could wait expectantly during the day, too?
As for the Right’s poem, a cuckoo is not something that calls incessantly, yet I wonder if this composition is not, in some form, a plea that it would? As for ‘eagerly await’, well, I feel that it would be better to have ‘awaited’ rather than ‘awaiting’—that sounds like something one would have done ‘nothing but’ first. It seems a bit distasteful, like a poem by someone who has been perusing the Collection of a Myriad Leaves.
[1] On a folding screen for the Coming-of-Age Ceremony of the Northern Princess. 行きやらで山ぢくらしつほととぎす今ひとこゑのきかまほしさに yukiyarade / yamaji kurashitsu / hototogisu / ima hitokoe no / kikamahoshisa ni ‘I cannot go ahead / As twilight falls upon the mountain paths / For a cuckoo’s / Single call now / Is what I long to hear…’ Minamoto no Kintada (SIS II: 106)
Round Thirty-Two
Left (Tie)
上葉ふく朝の原の秋風におのれうつろふ萩の下露
| uwaba fuku ashita no hara no akikaze ni onore utsurou hagi no shitazuyu | Blowing upon the upper leaves Over Ashita Plain, The autumn breeze touches, Fading all of itself The dripping dew upon the bush clover. |
Tomoshige
63
Right
今よりはたが涙とか成りぬらん下葉色づく秋萩の露
| ima yori wa ta ga namida to ka narinuran shitaba irozuku akihagi no tsuyu | From now on Whose tears might They become? Colouring the underleaves Are dewdrops upon the autumn bush clover…[1] |
Dharma Master Zenshin
64
Left and Right are in the same style. The Right’s poem wonders ‘whose are these tears’ and has a person’s tears as the dew upon the grass, which is something one often hears. Using dew on the grass as a person’s tears is a bit vague, yet it’s not going so far as to be a definite fault. These should tie.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. あきはぎのしたば色づく今よりやひとりある人のいねがてにする akihagi no / shitaba irozuku / ima yori ya / hitori aru hito no / inegatenisuru ‘The autumn bush clover’s / Underleaves are colouring / From this point on, / For one all alone / Will sleep be harder to find?’ Anonymous (KKS IV: 220)
Fresh herbs in the snow.
わかなつむ衣手ぬれてかた岡のあしたのはらにあは雪ぞふる
| wakana tsumu koromode nurete kataoka no ashita no hara ni awayuki zo furu | Picking fresh herbs, My sleeves are soaked, for In Kataoka Upon the plain of Ashita Falls a froth of snow. |
Left (Win)
われききてひとにはつげむほととぎすおもふもしるくまづここになけ
| ware kikite hito ni wa tsugeku hototogisu omou shiruku mazu koko ni nake | I listen, and To folk will tell, O, cuckoo, so Where I am lost in thoughts of you, Sing here first! |
Mitsune
47
Right
かたをかのあしたのはらをとよむまでやまほととぎすいまぞなくなる
| kataoka no ashita no hara o toyomu made yamahototogisu ima zo nakunaru | Until in Kataoka The plain of Ashita Does resound The mountain cuckoos Are singing now! |
48
When ‘Until in Kataoka / The plain of Ashita / Does resound’ had been recited, His Majesty laughed, saying, ‘It would be impossible for it to resound,’ so the final part of the poem was not recited and it lost.
Left
しらつゆのおけるあしたのをみなへしはなにもはにもたまぞかかれる
| shiratsuyu no okeru ashita no ominaeshi hana ni mo ha ni mo tama zo kakareru | Silver dewdrops Fallen in the morning on A maidenflower: Both bloom and leaves Are all hung with pearls. |
7[1]
Right
をみなへしたてるのざとをうちすぎてうらみむつゆにぬれやん
| ominaeshi tateru nozato o uchisugite uramimu tsuyu ni nure ya wataran | A maidenflower Stands at a house upon the plains As I pass by; Is it her resentful dew That has drenched me on my way? |
8
[1] Gyokuyōshū 526; Shinsen man’yōshū 606; Kokin rokujō 3687
Left
空蝉の侘びしきものを夏草の露にかかれる身にこそ有りけれ
| utsusemi no wabishiki mono o natsukusa no tsuyu ni kakareru mi ni koso arikere | A cicada’s empty shell Is so sorrowful; To a stalk of summer grass, All draped with dewdrops, It’s form does cling. |
43
Right
なつの夜の月はほどなく明けながらあしたの間をぞかこちよせける
| natsu no yo no tsuki wa hodonaku akenagara ashita no ma o zo kakochiyosekeru | On a summer night, The moon lacks time To brighten, so It will do it on the morrow— That is its excuse! |
44
Summer
Round Four
Left
匂ふよりここちあだなる花ゆゑにのどけきはるの風もうらみじ
| niou yori kokochi adanaru hana yue ni nodokeki haru no kaze mo uramiji | From their fragrance Fickle feelings Do these blossoms have, so Peaceful spring’s Breezes I would likely not resent. |
7
Right (Win)
夏の夜のぬるほどもなく明けぬればあしたのまをぞかこちよせつる
| natsu no yo no nuru hodo mo naku akenureba ashita no ma o zo kakochiyosetsuru | On a summer night I’ve lacked time to sleep, and Dawn has come, so I’ll do it on the morrow— That is my excuse! |
8
